Author Tom19 Posted May 2, 2011 Author Share Posted May 2, 2011 I wish that it could be just a quick one, but we have a couple of things that we need to call companies about that are in both of our names, just little things like DVD rentals and stuff that need to be cancelled, and so we need to do that. Been rather down today, keep thinking about her and what she might be doing. I just hate the fact right now that I don't see her when I get home from work anymore, just seeing her smile when we used to first see each other seems a distant memory now, I've love for it to come back and happen again but I'm trying to focus on my recovery. It's so hard though! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tom19 Posted May 4, 2011 Author Share Posted May 4, 2011 Well last night everything came crashing down. She texted me saying that she was changing her Facebook relationship status, and so I did the same. Obviously I want her but she clearly just doesn't want me anymore. Still meeting up tonight although I'm not looking forward to it. Seems to me that she's being a right bitch about things and that I feel she's been influenced by her friends a bit, which is a shame, especially as they liked me and I met Fern through her friends in the first place! Anyway so tonight now is going to be a barrel of laughs. Just have to see what she has to say. Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Are you sure you want to meet her? Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Okay, Really dude, you have to Defriend her on facebook. I know it sucks to think about it but you'll thank me later. Because, she may post pics of her having fun with her friends and having a good time,THEN you'll post here about how hurtful it is to see her out and about while you're stuck here with a broken heart. And you don't want to see her relationship status change back to " In a relationship" and it's not with you. Just trust me and do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tom19 Posted May 4, 2011 Author Share Posted May 4, 2011 Been round to see her, it wasn't too bad. We sat there, she said hello although didn't really do too much talking. Sorted things out, I dropped her stuff off, she gave me a hug and then I left. She still had everything up, our photo's etc I then get a text from her saying that's she found some of my DVD's and that she'll probably find other stuff, I asked if she wanted me to come round now and get everything out of the way so she could have space but she said no and that we can do it another day, I kind of got a little mad and texted her back saying okay, maybe we can also talk another day. She hasn't texted back since but at least maybe she'll get my point. Link to post Share on other sites
Gungnir Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 Hello Tom19, I have been searching around the net for a solution to the very same problem you have! It is Ironic too that my Girlfriend's dad passed away on the 20th of Febuary, 2011 I was right there with her in the Emergency room. I too lost my dad around 6 years ago so i did what i could to comfort her... I am in a very similar situation as you are, im 27, my girlfriend or should i say ex girlfriend (she broke up with me just about a month ago) is 26, we have known each other since we were 7 years old and been the best of friends for a long time... It got complicated when, me being at work couldn't be with her all the time, thats when one of her "close friends" who happens to be a guy started taking advantage of her vulnerability, we fought for 2 months because of that guy, because she told me, i cannot tell her who she can and cant be friends with... the guy was obviously poisoning her against me steadily, making me seem like the bad guy because i had to go to work and couldn't spend time with her, while he saw her every time she went to work, because he takes care of his family's cafeteria at her office...(my girlfriend and i work at different companies). The worst part of it is that my girlfriend took his side and protected him, until i couldn't take it anymore ( for 2 months I focused on my girl and taking care of her...but that guy wouldn't stop) so first week of April, i go into that guy's cafeteria and picked a fight with him...not the best move to make I would say, but he used up all my patience... she broke up with me the next day... She says she loves and cares for me but doesn't want commitment or pressure from me right now...I know it hurts...she treats me like her best friend now...we go on dates, but it really hurts to sit beside someone you love, you trying to hold her hand and she tells you that "we are just friends" or "boyfriend mode; off" she says she needs time to think if she still wants to be with me, to accept things about me that she dislikes...I keep thinking why does she need to think? Hasn't she known me for a very long time, didn't she consider these things before she said yes to me? So here I am, reading your post, figuring out how to win her back, how to deal with what i feel. How to stop myself from going at that guy with an axe for throwing a wrench into our relationship (she still eats at his family's cafeteria) I decided to be myself, it may not be the wisest thing to do, but its who i am....I go with her family to church/mass every other day, visit her dad's grave with her, take her out on dates, I tell her EVERYDAY that i love her, and that i miss her... she tells me she feels pressured, i reply that i am not pressuring her; that's how i feel, i tell her i will wait for her (even though i cant bear the idea of waiting for months on end, at the very least, ill hold on for as long as i can) and if she doesn't come back to me...I can always say: i did all that I could do, and I have no regrets... Best of luck to both of us and to anyone who is going through a similar situation right now...Hold on, be strong, be bullheaded, be yourself, tell her how you feel, remind her of the good times you had, be steady and constant in your efforts. when you feel like giving up, retreat and remember that you need to keep a positive atmosphere when you are with her, avoid fights, lower your pride, regroup and keep going, show her you are there for her, that you love her even though she is hurting you..until you cannot anymore...Im not an expert at this, but this is what i thought would work for me best... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tom19 Posted May 12, 2011 Author Share Posted May 12, 2011 Sorry Gungnir, I've only just seen your post! I hope you do better than me with things, at least she is willing to see you, my ex won't even talk to me anymore, despite me doing nothing wrong at all, again, it's just how she's dealing with things. She still goes out with friends and acts perfectly fine with everyone except from me, the last time I heard from her was Sunday and the last time I seen her was a week and a day ago. I've been in no contact now since Monday, I also deleted my Facebook on Monday to in order to try and help me get away from things, I've tried all I can and right now maybe space will bring her around sometime in the future, if not, then at least I can start my recovery now. I still have things at her house that I need to pick up but I'm waiting for her to get in touch now, I've tried and tried and it hurt too much to be constantly rejected. One of her best friends decided it would also be nice to twist something I said and so she probably hates me now, I guess I'll never speak to anyone about her again, it's a shame I learnt it the hard way. Things are still very tough, I wake up everynight at 2am without fail and I still think about her for at least half the day. At least I know that I tried with her and that if she doesn't want me, she doesn't want me, I never gave up on her and would be there if she wanted me but I can't let her know that if she's ever going to miss me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tom19 Posted May 29, 2011 Author Share Posted May 29, 2011 It's been three weeks since me and Fern have spoken, and for the majority I feel like I've been doing okay. There's been spells where I just feel down about everything and the slightest thing can irritate me! Todays not been a good day, my Mum's on holiday and my Dad's at work so it's just me and the dog at home. I still think of Fern everyday and wish her well and hope and pray that she's doing okay after everything she's been through. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tom19 Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 It's my birthday today, and my ex has decided to text me. Didn't say much, just "Happy birthday. Hope you have a good day x" Don't know what to say back to her as I don't want to ignore her. It's been 4 weeks since we last spoke. Link to post Share on other sites
california15 Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Happy birthday Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Leave it be, but if you HAVE to say something, just say "thanks" and nothing more. Link to post Share on other sites
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