frustrated + sad Posted April 9, 2004 Share Posted April 9, 2004 Hi. I never thought I would write on one of these things, but my best friend reccommended it. Here is the situation I go to a small graduate school with this guy, my sort of kind of boyfriend. We started as friends last year and apprently he always liked me but I was always dating someone else. Finally I was single and over time our close friendship became romantic. The only problem was we began to be more than friends just as school was ending. SO the summer came and we live in different states. We both agreed we would do our own thing. Well I began dating a guy down the shore, I was doing my own thing. Well he didnt' but it was agreed that we both could. WEll he was upset that I was dating this guy over the summer but he thought it was just a summer fling. The guy and I still hung out and hooked up sometimes when I went back to school, but it wasn't anything serious. I told my sort of boyfriend about how I was still sort of hanging out with the guy from home. He was very hurt and I understand that. But the thing is we were having lots of problems anyway. This went on for about a while, but then when things got better I was really only friends with the other guy. Well I decided that I was ready to be more serious with my sort of boyfriend and things were good for a while but basically we love each other, care about each other but can't get along about the littlest thing. He is involved in a million activities outside of school and I felt like I was never a priority. Well to make a long story short we got into a huge fight two months ago and we totally ended things. Actually he ended things. I wanted to work things out, but he had it. HE said I hurt him so many times that he jsut wanted to be friends. Well the thing is he says he still loves me and cares about me but right now he can't be with me. HE has also done a lot of messed up things. WE try to hang out as friends and we always end up hooking up and I always hope we will get back together. HE keeps saying nothing has changed. I am so frustrated he tells me that he loves me and cares about me, but we aren't compatible. But then he says who knows what will happen in the future. I am so upset and I would do anything to show him that I do understand where he is coming from and how much I love him but he is so stubborn. We go to school together so it isn't like "out of sight out of mind", but after hanging out again last night I told him not to call me not to email me etc... I feel like I have to do this b/c I don't know what else to do. I keep hoping and keep getting hurt. I am so hurt b/c not only did we date for a year he is one of my best friends. I am also afraid that if I dont contact him he will forget about me in that way and will meet someone else. Any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
fool4love Posted April 9, 2004 Share Posted April 9, 2004 My situation is sort of similar...in terms of how he's handling the breakup. My b/f and I broke up almost 2 months ago. I considered him a bestfriend, soulmate, lover and confidant. He broke it off, after a series of fighting and other problems, and I wanted to try to make it work. The last time we saw eachother, we hooked up as well, but he still felt the same, and I still wanted more. He told me in his last email, that he still loves me and feels awful @ all the pain I'm going through. To make it worse, he told me I'm still in his thoughts everyday. But he questioned our future together, and claimed he couldn't give me back the same feelings I shared for him. I don't get it either. How can someone love you, and yet want to move on. How can someone care so much for you and break your heart. Why can't they work through the petty issues, and try to maintain the relationship. If they really loved us, they'd do that, right? Link to post Share on other sites
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