jonny78 Posted April 29, 2011 Share Posted April 29, 2011 Long story short my ex started sleeping with my friend behind my back and left me for him, then strung me along for a long time after, because I was stupid (first love) and all that, she walked all over me, clearly had no respect for me etc I hate the girl, it ended badly eventually - I have been strict NC for 3 months, not a word has been said by either me or her. 2 days ago she text me, saying "have you just added me on facebook?" ... I don't even have facebook anymore, because of all this! ... Naturally I just deleted the text, but it annoyed me, i'm still thinking of it now obviously, how after everything she did to me, and not speaking in 3 months that's what she sends... Is it best to just ignore it and move on? Or is there a reply I can send that shows I have moved on and don't want anything to do with her so not to text again? (obviously worded a bit better) ... Just wondering what advice people can give me here. It's annoying because I'm sure she still thinks i'm at home crying over her whilst she's 'living the dream', and this message was a crumb to see if I'd bite... Now I know by replying it would be biting, but would a properly constructed reply not say more about me moving on and in a way tell her off for sending only that after 3 months... Rather than ignoring her (which could show that I'm not strong enough to cope with communication?) Any advice appreciated, Jonny. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jonny78 Posted April 29, 2011 Author Share Posted April 29, 2011 Also, it could be a possibility that somebodys made a fake account of me and added her (people i know would do that) ... i can't be sure, i don't have FB to check, but if that were the case, does it not look weak that I broke NC after 3 months to add her on FB (even though it wasn't me!!) ... Or maybe she just made the text up. Link to post Share on other sites
hellon Posted April 29, 2011 Share Posted April 29, 2011 DON'T BITE!!! Not even the most craftily worded reply could have the same effect as ignoring the text. Responding, especially if it's an angry response, will only send the message that you're still thinking about her- she'll either respond, and it will turn into an unnecessary and ugly dialogue, or she WON'T respond, which will be even more frustrating for you. Ignoring her sends the strongest message, trust me. If you need to vent, do it on here, or write an email that you never send, you know? Keep the ball in your court. Link to post Share on other sites
1784 Posted April 29, 2011 Share Posted April 29, 2011 The most effective response anyone could ever give is their silence. As they say, "it speaks volumes". By not responding you're basically replying to her with her worst nightmare, which is whatever the worst thing she can imagine in her mind that you'd say. Saying nothing is your best bet because in doing so you are refusing to play her game. Stay away. You say you "hate the girl" anyway. If you truly do then don't give her one of the most precious things you have - your time. And just so you know, I KNOW just how hard it is to resist. I've had to do it myself. You want so badly to let them know this or that. In the end, though, they're gonna think what they're gonna think anyway. It won't make you feel better. It'll only make you feel worse. Stay strong, my friend. Keep away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jonny78 Posted April 30, 2011 Author Share Posted April 30, 2011 thankyou both for the responses, they really help y'know, especially how you justify not replying as being the best response i'm clearly not over her, because communication from her makes me think illogically, but thankfully this community is here to help!!! i must be getting somewhere as i haven't contacted her in 3 months (nor has she bar that message) ... and though it was a poor message atleast i had the strength to seek advice and not bite i didn't respond, i deleted it she's had 3 months to say anything to me, especially to send an apology... hearing nothing from her just shows me how selfish she really is - every action she has taken has been a horrible selfish one, i often wonder how she sleeps at night and can enjoy flaunting what she has with this guy all over facebook and in real life... they are the answers that i want, but i think it's time to realise i am not going to get the answers, and she doesn't care AT ALL, as sad as that is, i guess why should she, she got everything that she wanted. time to realsie all this and take NC to the final level so i can move on completely. i changed my mobile number yesterday because the block didn't work i changed my email address yesterday she has no way of contacting me now, it feels a lot better now that everytime i receive a text i'm no wonder thinking in the back of my mind 'is it her' i think it's safe to say that i will never speak to this girl again, some people may say that is a bit extreme, but after what she has done, and especially what her actions have shown since - it's safe to say she doesn't care, so why should i anymore? it's my time now. i spent 3 months hoping she would contact me, i don't even know if what she text me could even count as contact because of how lame it was, but now i hope that she never contacts me again. 88 days no contact from me, time to stop counting, as it's pretty lame if i count to over 1000 thanks again everyone, it's a great place to vent here and it really helps, your responses mean more to me than you know Link to post Share on other sites
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