Sw3etdev1L Posted April 30, 2011 Share Posted April 30, 2011 How do I know if I am in love or not? i am doubtful... Link to post Share on other sites
RedIvy Posted April 30, 2011 Share Posted April 30, 2011 When it comes to that, personally I think you "just know". You can feel it. Love is a huge emotion and and very important one at that, so it takes time. But when you're in love, I guess you just feel a great deal of respect for your Link to post Share on other sites
DreamerGirl27 Posted April 30, 2011 Share Posted April 30, 2011 What do you mean, how do you know? You just know. Personally, I've only ever experienced unrequited love, but I would love (no pun intended) to experience real, true reciprocated loves sometime in the near future. Or late future. Really doesn't matter. Would just like to experience at some point in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted April 30, 2011 Share Posted April 30, 2011 When it comes to that, personally I think you "just know". You can feel it. Love is a huge emotion and and very important one at that, so it takes time... I agree with RedIvy that you know it when you experience it. How long have you been dating this person, OP? What's throwing doubt into your mind? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sw3etdev1L Posted May 4, 2011 Author Share Posted May 4, 2011 I have been going out with him for seven months and I don't like how he kisses, we have sex but I don't feel it intense.. he tries SO HARD.... he tries so hard that I just, feel bad for him... that he waits for me and stuff. But, I don't know why, .. it's not the best sex in my life... Supposedly the best sex and kisses in your life is with your true love? or what?.. We do click as friends though.. As lovers... he sounded promising when I first met him, but... its been 7 months and been thoughting. I don't know.. I think... ¿is there someone taller? ¿Cuter? ¿Richer? out for me?... ¿is this it?... So I asked myself... ¿Am I in love? ¿Don't I have feelings? ¿Am I serious? Then I say to myself... But he is so sweet, and nice, and good, and prepared, and educated, and the most sweet person to his parents and brother and sister, and he is good to my father and sister, and to me.... ¿Can I do this? ¿Do I want to do this? This whole "serious relationship " thing... makes me go overboard with my thoughts and feelings... It was much easier for me to say... "it's not my serious boyfriend, its just a fling"... I ended up a fling, he was not my boyfriend..about 8 months ago.. We used to have great sex, but it seemed that was all he wanted me for.. after that, he searched for me when I had a boyfriend... to see if I was happy go figure.. but, with him... I had so much fun, he was so free and funny, and stable.. my boyfriend is not stable, and although he is fun sometimes I don't know if he is being his complete self with me or is just posing... When I met my free, he was himself... and I loved that about him. He let me be my own self... With my boyfriend, gosh... he just tries SO HARD. To be seen as this "Financial intelligent capable guy".. truth is he is no stable economically at all and he is having a lame time stabalizing... that's being harsh for me.. Call me material, superficial or whatever you want, but this is how I feel. He is too rigid with himself, about me, about his job... he needs to let go, relax, and enjoy... sometimes I wonder if we are good together?.. because... I am this, spiritual, philosophical, yoga making, meditation doing, clinical nutritionist free thinker, musical and sporty person... and he is this non spiritual, slightly philosophical, almost non sporty person who is so interested in the financial field...he stresses out, and I stress out.. and I hate him for that because.. I used to be a relax person until he came into my life and gave me all this bull**** about.. the stockmarket and his finance bull**** Link to post Share on other sites
djhall Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I agree with RedIvy that you know it when you experience it. Yeah, I used to wonder that too. In my opinion, you can love someone without having that "it factor" and it's nice and it's easy and you might ask that question. But when you are "in love" with someone, no, you don't wonder... YOU KNOW... and you don't ask that question any more than you wonder whether you need to breathe. Of course, there is some debate about whether it is better to settle for love or hold out for someone you are "in love" with, if you understand the distinction I'm trying to make. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sw3etdev1L Posted May 4, 2011 Author Share Posted May 4, 2011 Ok, now you get me... I feel.. that when we met, we didn't know each other.. Now.. I love so many things of him as a person. Such as , being nice, being responsible, good, well intended, cooperative, fun to be around with, respectful, has values, listens to me, we have fun together, considers me sexually... those things make me love him. But .... ¿in love? I don't think so. i thought not being in love with him was wrong, not feel those butterflies... But, truth is... speaking from earth to you, I prefer to love him... and I didn't start loving him right away... it just becomes stronger day by day.. Link to post Share on other sites
hativelchas Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 I have been going out with him for seven months and I don't like how he kisses, we have sex but I don't feel it intense.. he tries SO HARD.... he tries so hard that I just, feel bad for him... that he waits for me and stuff. But, I don't know why, .. it's not the best sex in my life... Supposedly the best sex and kisses in your life is with your true love? or what?.. We do click as friends though.. As lovers... he sounded promising when I first met him, but... its been 7 months and been thoughting. I don't know.. I think... ¿is there someone taller? ¿Cuter? ¿Richer? out for me?... ¿is this it?... So I asked myself... ¿Am I in love? ¿Don't I have feelings? ¿Am I serious? Then I say to myself... But he is so sweet, and nice, and good, and prepared, and educated, and the most sweet person to his parents and brother and sister, and he is good to my father and sister, and to me.... ¿Can I do this? ¿Do I want to do this? This whole "serious relationship " thing... makes me go overboard with my thoughts and feelings... It was much easier for me to say... "it's not my serious boyfriend, its just a fling"... I ended up a fling, he was not my boyfriend..about 8 months ago.. We used to have great sex, but it seemed that was all he wanted me for.. after that, he searched for me when I had a boyfriend... to see if I was happy go figure.. but, with him... I had so much fun, he was so free and funny, and stable.. my boyfriend is not stable, and although he is fun sometimes I don't know if he is being his complete self with me or is just posing... When I met my free, he was himself... and I loved that about him. He let me be my own self... With my boyfriend, gosh... he just tries SO HARD. To be seen as this "Financial intelligent capable guy".. truth is he is no stable economically at all and he is having a lame time stabalizing... that's being harsh for me.. Call me material, superficial or whatever you want, but this is how I feel. He is too rigid with himself, about me, about his job... he needs to let go, relax, and enjoy... sometimes I wonder if we are good together?.. because... I am this, spiritual, philosophical, yoga making, meditation doing, clinical nutritionist free thinker, musical and sporty person... and he is this non spiritual, slightly philosophical, almost non sporty person who is so interested in the financial field...he stresses out, and I stress out.. and I hate him for that because.. I used to be a relax person until he came into my life and gave me all this bull**** about.. the stockmarket and his finance bull**** Wow, I can relate to your situation in so many ways that I just can't help speaking my mind on this. But PLEASE, don't forget that it's only my opinion and it's inevitably connected to my life experience and to the characters of those involved, therefore I'm not saying it applies to your situation... You'd know better than me, of course... I'm in many ways like you described yourself and my husband is in many ways like you described your bf. I've been married to him for a few years and gave birth to our first child and just recently I've started asking myself so many of the questions you've written above. The difference is that I have been IN LOVE before, but not with my husband. It was with my first bf and the relationship ended 1 year before I met my husband, mostly due to distance. I'll say the same: it's hard to not know that you're IN LOVE, because it just hits you. IME, it's hardly controllable, it turns one's life upside down, it can make you sometime feel like you're on some drug (can even alter your senses & perception). I lean towards the opinion that it's mostly physical (hormonal) because there are so many physical processes involved or even disturbed (like not being able to eat or sleep sometimes), thus it doesn't last for too long, otherwise the person in love could be fatally affected. I never felt any of the above for my husband, but I still married him because he gave me the best feelings of stability, being protected and safe in a relationship - kind of like a warm fuzzy blanket - and that is something I hardly got from the one I was IN LOVE with... In the end, my advice is that you need to experience being IN LOVE, brokenhearted, go through the pain and emerge stronger & wiser from it before you decide to settle down with someone you just love, no matter how much he might love you back. Even if it's only a matter of having that experience in your soul & mind, you need to have it before you take the big step. Only then you'll be able to knowingly make a decision and prevent future futile regrets and 'what ifs'. Link to post Share on other sites
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