should i forgive my wife.

[nordic]

^^^The only problem is that our culture isn't equally successful at suppressing men and women. There is no real social value to promiscuity and a definite and quantifiable social cost. It should be discouraged.

 

 

mmm, not sure about that. sluts provide easy access to sex. western cultures have less suicide bombers and such crap. every now and then a sexually deprived man goes on shooting spree in the west though. i think the concept of slut keeps us safer:-) plus, i like them.

[nordic]

FWIW, here's my two cents:

 

If confronted with a lie like this, it would be the psychology behind the lie that mattered to me more than the lie itself.

 

It's certainly possible empathize with someone who feels compelled to lie about past sexual experiences. I - and a whole lot of other guys - would prefer not to marry a girl who could teach Dr. Ruth a thing or two. For their part, women often discriminate against virgins. So both men and women have an enormous incentive to lie about their sexual histories if those histories go against the certain expectations. This is particularly true in the case of past promiscuity, which is inherently irresponsible behavior. Moreover, if a promiscuous woman has truly changed, genuinely regrets her past behavior and finds no appeal in meaningless casual sex, she may think that immediately revealing her history gives potential partners a misleading impression of who she currently is. In a way, she's right.

 

So, supposing that my GF had lied about her sexual history... 32 dudes, whatever... the crux of it for me would be why she lied. If she lied out of shame and a burning desire for the chance to show me who she has now become, I could forgive that. However, if the lie were only an expedient to snag me, and didn't reflect any sense of shame and changed values, well... yeah, then I'd be pretty pissed. I would've been given a false bill of goods. I'd be involved with a selfish person who didn't share my values and misrepresented her own to entrap me.

 

I guess you could say that my feelings would depend on whether she was "living the lie" - has she finally become the sort of person she wanted you to think she always was? If yes, I think it would be genuinely decent and manly to forgive her completely and move on. If not, well, you don't really owe an illusion anything.

 

then you are different from me. the issue would be that she had her mouth filled up with sperm from 32 other men, plus she was lying under them screaming and moaning in pretty much exactly the same way as she is when you are screwing her. i would not like that. even if she gave me the truth with graphic details and power point slides. its the act thats the problem for me, lying or not.

[linwood]

^^^The only problem is that our culture isn't equally successful at suppressing men and women. There is no real social value to promiscuity and a definite and quantifiable social cost. It should be discouraged.

 

Could you quantify that social cost for me so I can consider your statement?

 

Not that it matters much to me if my actions have a "social value" or not as long as they have a value for me "personally".

[linwood]

three things.

 

first. i never wrote "irresponsible behavior" anywhere. so dont get me mixed up with that. this is my view on that.

 

I believe I went out of my way to separate your argument by directly focussing on your misunderstanding of male/female sexuality.

 

i love sluts. i think sluts make the world a better place. i do not want my wife to be a slut. nor my mother, sister or daughter. any other woman, i am just happy if they are slut, given it gives me a better chance to get uncomplicated sex.

 

Your meaning is unclear.

You don`t want your wife/mother to be a slut but your happy if they are as it makes the opportunity for sex easier for you?

 

second. hypocracy needs the concept of moral. i have no moral around this at all. its an emotion. emotions are not subject to morals.

 

No, no it doesn`t.

Hypocrisy is the act of stating a thing is wrong for one but acceptable for another with no objective/evidenced reason for the inconsistency.

This can concern moral acts/beliefs but it isn`t inherent within the concept.

Also, emotions are indeed subject to morals.

In fact a strong argument could be raised that morals/ethics exist as a counter to our inate emotional reactions

 

if i hit you hard on the knee with a hammer, it will hurt you regardless of what moral attach to it. if you tell your man about that week on vacation when you ****ed 5 men in one week, and three simultaneuosly, that will hurt you husband, regardless of morals, its within him. same as hitting him with a hammer, and if he was me, i prefer the hammer.

 

I have no idea what the **** you`re talking about here.

I don`t believe you do either.

 

third. if you think your sexuality is them same as a mans, you cant have looked very carefully. a womans sexuality has a positive market value, a mans has a negative. that creates a big difference.

 

I was speaking of "sexuality" on a personal/emotional level as that is how you approached it in previous posts.

It seems now you wish to change the content of your words "after" you`ve spoken them.

More than a bit dishonest.

 

Example...

 

yes it is. simply coz women dont have this type of emotions. its not reciprocal at all. men and women simply have completely different sexualities.

 

i actually disagree with this. double standards would imply reciprocal emotional repsons from the sexes on this matter. since there isnt, since our sexualities are so different there is no comparison like that.

 

.........

women are generally not interested in whether or not men are virginal, coz they have no emotional repsons to that. men have, and thta emotional repsons can be very strong, so obvioulsy we can compare the two sexualities like that.

[nordic]

Could you quantify that social cost for me so I can consider your statement?

 

Not that it matters much to me if my actions have a "social value" or not as long as they have a value for me "personally".

 

well, one social cost is the disruption of long term relationships, which in turn have negative impact on children.

 

another is increased aggressive behavior in relationships due to jealousy. reason why women smashed up in relationships are always the same, and its clearly emotionally driven.

 

i totally agree. nobody cares about "socail value" compared to "personal" value. life is too short:-)

[nordic]

I believe I went out of my way to separate your argument by directly focussing on your misunderstanding of male/female sexuality.

 

 

 

Your meaning is unclear.

You don`t want your wife/mother to be a slut but your happy if they are as it makes the opportunity for sex easier for you?

 

 

 

No, no it doesn`t.

Hypocrisy is the act of stating a thing is wrong for one but acceptable for another with no objective/evidenced reason for the inconsistency.

This can concern moral acts/beliefs but it isn`t inherent within the concept.

Also, emotions are indeed subject to morals.

In fact a strong argument could be raised that morals/ethics exist as a counter to our inate emotional reactions

 

 

 

I have no idea what the **** you`re talking about here.

I don`t believe you do either.

 

 

 

I was speaking of "sexuality" on a personal/emotional level as that is how you approached it in previous posts.

It seems now you wish to change the content of your words "after" you`ve spoken them.

More than a bit dishonest.

 

Example...

 

whats unclear? i like to have sex with sluts. but i dont want to be married to one. same as almost all men on the planet. what is unclear about that?

its very clear.

 

no, you need to consider the consequences of your actions. if you do the same thing to two people, and it has a completely different outcome, the actions can of course not be measured the same. serve a cookie with nuts to an nutallergic person and he dies, serve it to somebody else and he is happy. that has nothing to do with hypocrisy, since the expected outcomes are different.

 

hammer example shows this very well. under which moral rule, will you not be hurt when i hit your knee hard with a hammer. answer is none, since it is an emotion, therefore moral will not take it away. same if a wife tells a man about sexual history, there is no moral under which that will not hurt, since its emotionally driven.

 

oh, but that needs the added understanding that male and female sexually is completely different, which you as an axiom just stated it isnt:-) well, everybody who has lived know that you are wrong there.

 

i have no clue what the last thing means. but sexuality is of course emotional and personal. but it is still differetn between men and women.

dont know what you mean.

[Sparty97]

"Don't suck a dick on the way out to the car"

[nordic]

"Don't suck a dick on the way out to the car"

 

would be hard for her i guess, she has her statistics to uphold:-)

[nordic]

I like to have sex with sluts who pretend to be good girls but only give it up for me.

 

 

 

 

I think linwood is the very first guy I ever heard actually say he was proud of being married to one.

 

But frankly, most women lie so much to minimize their sexual past that there's no way of knowing if you've married one. You have to assume that any woman who seems reasonably sexually aware has probably slutted it up at least at some point in her life, and is only pretending to be a "good girl" when she's ready to settle down. Just like the O.P.'s situation as a matter of fact.

 

O.P.'s real problem is that even if he ditches this one, there's no guarantee he will ever find anyone more honest and less promiscuous. 32 does sound like a lot, but probably there are tons of chicks who have much higher numbers than that.

 

 

 

I think linwood's wife probably had her fill of nuts before their marriage. I guess she wasn't allergic to them?

 

 

 

 

Linwood is starting from the proposition that his authentic emotion of "jealousy" (or whatever it was) was automatically "invalid," an emotion he was not permitted to have or listen to as a red flag/warning signal about the woman he ended up marrying.

 

What can you say about someone who believes that his own emotions and intuitive feelings are completely invalid? And then also feels it necessary to project that out and claim it to be invalid if other men feel it? Yet continues to refer to his wife repeatedly by the perjorative adjective, "promiscuous" (rather than "experienced")?

 

But, he also claims that he was doing the same thing she was, and she was playing a man's game. Really?

 

 

 

 

 

 

No linwood says he is right and you are wrong. He picked a promiscuous woman as his wife because he had many other available options, but the promiscuous chick was obviously the best possible choice for a life mate. Since linwood claims it worked out for him, that must mean the rest of us should expect to also find a similar purple unicorn in our backyards.

 

 

 

"I got a slut, you didn't. I win."

 

its a bit aggressive, but i agree on the issues.

 

especially the fact that men have these emotions and they are not going anywhere. the whole idea that these emotions should be invalid, as you call it, or forbidden in any away is pointless. They are what they are and will never go away.

 

we love sluts. we just dont want to be married to one.

[John Michael Kane]

After reading this thread and others on the subject of female promiscuity I find it amazing that all women aren`t lesbians.

 

And I find it amazing all men aren't homo.

 

The hypocritical double standards posted here by what I can only assume are shallow utterly insecure cave men are UNREAL to me.

 

So is your foolishness.

 

I married a "promiscuous woman".

I was interested in her in part because of her promiscuity believe it or not.

 

So honestly, and I mean this as a very serious question: You like being a cuck?

 

I liked that fact that she could play a mans game as well as any man.

She played it better because she was a woman.

 

I guess I have my answer now.....

 

When jealousy reared it`s ugly head in me I simply reminded myself she wasn`t doing anything I hadn`t done myself.

 

For the past 12 years I`ve been in a happy, healthy, monogamous relationship with this "promiscuous woman" who has ruined me for all other women.

 

No one else could hold a candle to her.

 

There are a lot of weak men here at LS, maybe that`s why they seem to have relationship problems.

 

Hey dude if you like women who slept around a lot then be my guest, but men are in no way weak if they want a woman who hasn't been getting her bones jumped since she was 15-years-old.

[nordic]

And I find it amazing all men aren't homo.

 

 

 

So is your foolishness.

 

 

 

So honestly, and I mean this as a very serious question: You like being a cuck?

 

 

 

I guess I have my answer now.....

 

 

 

Hey dude if you like women who slept around a lot then be my guest, but men are in no way weak if they want a woman who hasn't been getting her bones jumped since she was 15-years-old.

 

exactly, most men dont want this.

[xxoo]

Hey dude if you like women who slept around a lot then be my guest, but men are in no way weak if they want a woman who hasn't been getting her bones jumped since she was 15-years-old.

 

But men very much want a sexual wife. So they want a woman who was minimally sexual before marriage, and then suddenly very sexual after marriage. The problem is, women who are minimally sexual before marriage tend to also be minimally sexual after marriage.

 

And then there is the very common complaint of low-sex marriages.

[nordic]

But men very much want a sexual wife. So they want a woman who was minimally sexual before marriage, and then suddenly very sexual after marriage. The problem is, women who are minimally sexual before marriage tend to also be minimally sexual after marriage.

 

And then there is the very common complaint of low-sex marriages.

 

this is not true. i have been with women who had more than 70 partners, and all they seem to have learned from that is to lie still and let men have their way with them.

 

one of the best girl ever came from a long relationship and had slept with 4 men before me. she was very eager to learn and had a great attitude towards sex. i think thats the most important, not technique.

 

being a slut often points to low self esteem, not that the womans sex drive is particuarly high.

[xxoo]

this is not true. i have been with women who had more than 70 partners, and all they seem to have learned from that is to lie still and let men have their way with them.

 

one of the best girl ever came from a long relationship and had slept with 4 men before me. she was very eager to learn and had a great attitude towards sex. i think thats the most important, not technique.

 

being a slut often points to low self esteem, not that the womans sex drive is particuarly high.

 

I agree that # of partners does not always correlate positively with a high sex drive. My own # of partners is very low, but I married very young. My drive is very high

 

But if I had been single in my 20s, I probably would have accumulated a number of partners because my drive is very high!

 

I'm just saying that women don't magically become sexual after marriage. If you want a very sexual wife, you should look for a sexual woman. If you choose a woman who lived many adult years without sex, don't be surprised if she is happy living without sex after marriage.

[nordic]

I agree that # of partners does not always correlate positively with a high sex drive. My own # of partners is very low, but I married very young. My drive is very high

 

But if I had been single in my 20s, I probably would have accumulated a number of partners because my drive is very high!

 

I'm just saying that women don't magically become sexual after marriage. If you want a very sexual wife, you should look for a sexual woman. If you choose a woman who lived many adult years without sex, don't be surprised if she is happy living without sex after marriage.

 

mmm, your sexdrive is very high when in a relationship. we dont know how high it is outside one really. sex without relationships are very different. i will generelly behave very differently depending on how interested i am in a woman. if i have zero interest, but still get her naked in the sack i will pretty much try and do as much stuff with as i can, coz i simply dont really care what she thinks or even if she leaves.

 

not sure you would continue serving yourself up to men under those conditions. so its not clear that you would really have an endless line of ons just coz you were single for a long time. plus it wold make you very cheap on the marriage market, and there is a good chance you would not be married now if you did that before you met your husband.

 

its hard to explain this to a woman, given that you dont have these emotions. but for me it is not possible to reason like your do. i cant marry a slut, coz i just dont feel anything for her. ok, if what you say was true, the perfect woman to marry would be an ex prostitute, would be wonderful with a preofessional in bed each night, right. but no. thats just not what we want in a wife. we want her to be as virginal as possible.

[xxoo]

mmm, your sexdrive is very high when in a relationship. we dont know how high it is outside one really. sex without relationships are very different. i will generelly behave very differently depending on how interested i am in a woman. if i have zero interest, but still get her naked in the sack i will pretty much try and do as much stuff with as i can, coz i simply dont really care what she thinks or even if she leaves.

 

I only know sex one way (in a relationship).

 

But reading here, and living life, I've been inundated with the message that NEW partners are more exciting that OLD. I don't know if I can accept that my drive is high only because I'm in a relationship....

 

its hard to explain this to a woman, given that you dont have these emotions. but for me it is not possible to reason like your do. i cant marry a slut, coz i just dont feel anything for her. ok, if what you say was true, the perfect woman to marry would be an ex prostitute, would be wonderful with a preofessional in bed each night, right. but no. thats just not what we want in a wife. we want her to be as virginal as possible.

 

But who is more virginal--the woman who's had sex 32 times with 32 different partners, or the woman who's had sex 100s/1000s of times with ONE partner?

 

Maybe more to the point--who is "virginal" after becoming sexually active? Isn't that like being a "little bit" pregnant, lol? You either are, or you aren't.

[nordic]

I only know sex one way (in a relationship).

 

But reading here, and living life, I've been inundated with the message that NEW partners are more exciting that OLD. I don't know if I can accept that my drive is high only because I'm in a relationship....

 

 

 

But who is more virginal--the woman who's had sex 32 times with 32 different partners, or the woman who's had sex 100s/1000s of times with ONE partner?

 

Maybe more to the point--who is "virginal" after becoming sexually active? Isn't that like being a "little bit" pregnant, lol? You either are, or you aren't.

 

no, the term stands as is. there are grades in hell:-)

 

the girl who came from a relationship and only had sex with one man is more virginal than the tramp that had 32 ons, if you ask a man.

 

i never said anything about your drive, other than we dont know. or i, of course, dont, you do. but just because a women who feels secure in a relationship has lots of sex with her hubby, doesnt mean that she was a complete slut before she married him. thats all i said. i dont really know what you did, but from the sounds of it, you pretty much validate what i said.:-)

[John Michael Kane]

But men very much want a sexual wife. So they want a woman who was minimally sexual before marriage, and then suddenly very sexual after marriage. The problem is, women who are minimally sexual before marriage tend to also be minimally sexual after marriage.

 

Not true. Women can be very sexual and good sex partners in the bed without having had 800,000 ding-a-lings in her. Besides a woman's vagina that hasn't been tainted by 800,000 ding-a-lings is wayyyyy better than those that are "blowed out.":laugh:

 

And then there is the very common complaint of low-sex marriages.

That is a stereotype you're talking about. Those women who refuse to give sex to their husbands are just plain ignorant and/or cheating, or have serious medical issues down there that prevent them from engaging in sexual intercourse.

[nordic]

Not true. Women can be very sexual and good sex partners in the bed without having had 800,000 ding-a-lings in her. Besides a woman's vagina that hasn't been tainted by 800,000 ding-a-lings is wayyyyy better than those that are "blowed out.":laugh:

 

That is a stereotype you're talking about. Those women who refuse to give sex to their husbands are just plain ignorant and/or cheating, or have serious medical issues down there that prevent them from engaging in sexual intercourse.

 

well, i would not pout it like that, but the conclusion is the same. no sluts with rings:-)

[phillyfan]

For a woman with experience shes pretty stale in bed. Now shes constantly checking my mail and phone to see if am cheating shes paraniod.i loved her but now am not sure.

 

Dude this is just freakin WRONG - u dont speak bout the woman u marry like this. Its plain nasty. 'Stale'? WTF.

[tnttim]

If she loved and trusted me she should have told me the truth. Its her past but my present

 

Welcome to Marriage my friend its a long roller coaster ride of ups and downs, highs and lows, and some side way action. This ride is not for the faint of heart. It takes, strength, understanding, forgiveness, and open mindedness to reach the end of this ride alive.

[DufenSchmertz]

paperview,

 

she had 32 lovers (that she's admitted to), and you've had only one (her)?

 

I'd say it's time for you to start playing catch-up.

[Arcturius]

I stumbled across this thread while looking for a totally different piece of advice about Cohabitation. However, since nearly every reply so far seemed to be little more than people without anything approaching experience on this topic expressing their opinion, I thought I'd share a personal story with the OP, which he may find some advice in, or perhaps even wisdom.

A couple years ago I met an awesome Woman one night while out with friend for his birthday.Our meeting was inadvertent, meaning I was not looking to meet anyone; I chatted up her and her friends because my friend was/is relatively shy about initiating conversation with strange women, but was looking to meet someone himself. I thought she was attractive and by the end of an evening of our respective groups "hanging out" together and enjoying the conversation, I asked for and received her phone number. A few days later she and I went out on our first date. It was an extremely good one, and during this date she told me she was divorced. I liked her enough at that point, and knowing I had been no saint in life, I confessed to her: "I don't know what the circumstances are surrounding your divorce, and I'm not asking you to tell me anything your uncomfortable telling me, but I like you and I want to see you again. Before this goes any further I want you to know that I've previously had an affair with a married woman, so if that's an issue for you, you can decide whether or not you'd like to see me again." She responded that her marriage hadn't ended due to infidelity on anyones part, and although she wasn't thrilled with my indiscretion, and had never done such a thing, she still wanted to see me again. After a couple dates the relationship became intimate. After we had sex for the first time she told me that "She hoped I wasn't one of those guys who lie and sleep with a lot of women because she really liked me and didn't want to be hurt." Then she asked how many people I had slept with in my life. I responded with the truth. She then told me her number, which was two higher than mine. I was fine with that. We continued dating, and after four great months together, we moved in together. One night after we had been living together for a couple months, and everything was still great, She began telling me a story that she had told me before. She didn't remember the first telling, but I did. As I listened a caught discrepancies in that story and began asking questions. To my horror I discovered that she had not only lied to me about having never been involved with a married man, but had continued to sleep with him for a month after she had the "I hope you're not..." conversation. Additionally her number wasn't two higher than mine, it was six higher. Neither of these things would have bothered me had she been forthright to begin with. The part about her continuing to sleep with another man would've but not the married part, or the six rather than two part. However I instantly believed that it was just six, but that she was still lying. We had many fights and unnecessarily detailed conversations about her "history" that would've never been needed had she been honest to start with. After a rocky six months it was over. Even after I was confident that I had explored the issue fully, found any and all discrepancies and finally gotten to the entirety of the truth, all of which I could live with and forgive; however, I found that there were two things I could not live with although I could forgive them.

1. The entire relationship was founded on lies and therefore it felt like a fraud.

2. That she had disrespected me so greatly by both lying and by continuing to sleep with another man for a month after begging me not to "hurt her", that I simply had no respect for her left.

Since these things were untenable to me, I left. And yes, in case it isn't clear enough, I loved her deeply, more than I had ever loved anyone before or since. But love alone isn't enough to surmount the twin obstacles of fraud and loss of all respect.

Take my advice. Forgive her, then leave her. Get a good Lawyer and sue her for divorce. Make sure that as embarrassing as it will be to you that her deception and fraud is known by the court so that you won't be in the position of financially supporting her while she has sex with number 33. I was lucky that I hadn't married the woman I loved before I caught her, because I was almost ready to at the time I caught her in her lies. I don't regret my decision; but I still regret hers.

[nordic]

Welcome to Marriage my friend its a long roller coaster ride of ups and downs, highs and lows, and some side way action. This ride is not for the faint of heart. It takes, strength, understanding, forgiveness, and open mindedness to reach the end of this ride alive.

 

it also takes the right woman. never forget that.

[nordic]

I stumbled across this thread while looking for a totally different piece of advice about Cohabitation. However, since nearly every reply so far seemed to be little more than people without anything approaching experience on this topic expressing their opinion, I thought I'd share a personal story with the OP, which he may find some advice in, or perhaps even wisdom.

A couple years ago I met an awesome Woman one night while out with friend for his birthday.Our meeting was inadvertent, meaning I was not looking to meet anyone; I chatted up her and her friends because my friend was/is relatively shy about initiating conversation with strange women, but was looking to meet someone himself. I thought she was attractive and by the end of an evening of our respective groups "hanging out" together and enjoying the conversation, I asked for and received her phone number. A few days later she and I went out on our first date. It was an extremely good one, and during this date she told me she was divorced. I liked her enough at that point, and knowing I had been no saint in life, I confessed to her: "I don't know what the circumstances are surrounding your divorce, and I'm not asking you to tell me anything your uncomfortable telling me, but I like you and I want to see you again. Before this goes any further I want you to know that I've previously had an affair with a married woman, so if that's an issue for you, you can decide whether or not you'd like to see me again." She responded that her marriage hadn't ended due to infidelity on anyones part, and although she wasn't thrilled with my indiscretion, and had never done such a thing, she still wanted to see me again. After a couple dates the relationship became intimate. After we had sex for the first time she told me that "She hoped I wasn't one of those guys who lie and sleep with a lot of women because she really liked me and didn't want to be hurt." Then she asked how many people I had slept with in my life. I responded with the truth. She then told me her number, which was two higher than mine. I was fine with that. We continued dating, and after four great months together, we moved in together. One night after we had been living together for a couple months, and everything was still great, She began telling me a story that she had told me before. She didn't remember the first telling, but I did. As I listened a caught discrepancies in that story and began asking questions. To my horror I discovered that she had not only lied to me about having never been involved with a married man, but had continued to sleep with him for a month after she had the "I hope you're not..." conversation. Additionally her number wasn't two higher than mine, it was six higher. Neither of these things would have bothered me had she been forthright to begin with. The part about her continuing to sleep with another man would've but not the married part, or the six rather than two part. However I instantly believed that it was just six, but that she was still lying. We had many fights and unnecessarily detailed conversations about her "history" that would've never been needed had she been honest to start with. After a rocky six months it was over. Even after I was confident that I had explored the issue fully, found any and all discrepancies and finally gotten to the entirety of the truth, all of which I could live with and forgive; however, I found that there were two things I could not live with although I could forgive them.

1. The entire relationship was founded on lies and therefore it felt like a fraud.

2. That she had disrespected me so greatly by both lying and by continuing to sleep with another man for a month after begging me not to "hurt her", that I simply had no respect for her left.

Since these things were untenable to me, I left. And yes, in case it isn't clear enough, I loved her deeply, more than I had ever loved anyone before or since. But love alone isn't enough to surmount the twin obstacles of fraud and loss of all respect.

Take my advice. Forgive her, then leave her. Get a good Lawyer and sue her for divorce. Make sure that as embarrassing as it will be to you that her deception and fraud is known by the court so that you won't be in the position of financially supporting her while she has sex with number 33. I was lucky that I hadn't married the woman I loved before I caught her, because I was almost ready to at the time I caught her in her lies. I don't regret my decision; but I still regret hers.

 

first of all, women will always lie about these things. there is no woman on the planet that will not lie, when the questions dig deep enough. the only exception to that is women without much of a history, that is why you should look for one of those.

 

second. no. its not the lying. the lying makes it impossible to believe in your woman, and sends your brain into overdrive, trying to find, what you call, discrepencies in their stories. it takes a lot of brainpower after you start and that is why you are less relaxed around your woman after you find out that she is lying (which again, all of them are if they have a history). plus, the very act of looking for information makes you jealous in itself, its almost like the negative feeling grows from the act of looking, and even when she comes out clean in a certain instance, that moment of relief is short lived, coz you know you gonna look again, and sooner or later you will find something, if she is a slut. which she probably is, if you start looking in the first place.

 

but no. its the lying. you, as a man, will hate her history just coz its there, that is all that is needed. the search for it, is just a therapy session to make you angry enough to actually leave her.

 

these women may look good, and seem to be what you want. but you really need to get out of there. you we only waste time and emotions that you need for somebody real. you need a wife that you resepct and maybe even look up to, not one that you are ashamed of, and saps your energy.