should i forgive my wife.

[Flgirl44]

Should you forgive your wife? You have to look inside yourself and ask if you have it in you to forgive her. I don't think I could myself, it's a little too drastic.

[Paperview]

Forgiveness is a posibility but forgetting is an impossibility and i do not think i can live with that. Am disgusted even looking at her.

[Irishlove]

I'm thinking she did what she thought what was best and apparently trusted you to tell you and to come clean. By your behavior and attitude I hope she finds someone who makes her happy and will communicate with her.

As for you, good luck finding another virgin and may happiness be there as well.

[mark982]

paperview, i've always been a believer in, what's in your past is in your past. never asked a girl about previous partners. but you were lied to by a long shot. only you can decide what you can live with! if it's a deal breaker for you, then it's time to move on.

[Tayla]

I'm thinking she did what she thought what was best and apparently trusted you to tell you and to come clean. By your behavior and attitude I hope she finds someone who makes her happy and will communicate with her.

As for you, good luck finding another virgin and may happiness be there as well.

 

Thank you Irishlove for being sensible in response. I concur with your view.

 

To the OP, forgive yourself first for thinking you are *above* reproach for someday your demons will be shone and you better hope your spouse can show forgiveness for those things...First being your intolerance.

[Paperview]

Its better i leave her than spend many years resenting her, and for the people thinking am bad ever heard of WHAT YOU DO NOW HAS CONSEQUENCES GOOD OR BAD FOR THE FUTURE? What she did then has brought her HER consequences.if i decide to stay with her il never look at her the same NEVER.

[nordic]

Its better i leave her than spend many years resenting her, and for the people thinking am bad ever heard of WHAT YOU DO NOW HAS CONSEQUENCES GOOD OR BAD FOR THE FUTURE? What she did then has brought her HER consequences.if i decide to stay with her il never look at her the same NEVER.

 

yeah, but stop telling us about it. just go ahead and do it.

[nordic]

Of course the wife's promiscuity is an issue, to HIM. Not us, but to the OP.

 

The lie(s) she has told you is a biggest problem. You said she was unremorseful? What do you intend to do OP? I suggest you don't rush into anything. Of course, this is obviously an issue that won't go away on its own.

 

the lie is not the problem. the fact that she is a slut is.

 

and you are right. men dont care about how women behave sexually, as long as its not our woman. if anything, we just get happier the more sluts there are around. increases our chances for uncomplicated sex:-) as long as its not our own wife thats been serving up that treat to men. that just never works, ever.

 

you can argue for the rest of your life, until you are blue in youe face, that it doesnt matter. but its all theoretical, and if you want to be happy in a practical manner in the real world. you just have to find a partner that feels sexually exclusive to you, or you will just keep argueing like people do here. not a good way to be happy:-)

[TattooMommy]

For your information her last 4 serious relationshps why they ended? Because those badboys didnt want to get married, i came alng and she took me for a fool.

 

 

sooooo....she found a guy that wanted the same thing she did.....and the problem is? this statement is just plain stupid.

 

as to the lying about her virginity? sounds like she loved you so much and wanted you to think well of her that she told you what you wanted to hear.

Something married people do all the time to keep the peace. You sound imature. Cut her loose so she can find a grownup to share her life and gifts with

[TattooMommy]

the lie is not the problem. the fact that she is a slut is.

 

and you are right. men dont care about how women behave sexually, as long as its not our woman. if anything, we just get happier the more sluts there are around. increases our chances for uncomplicated sex:-) as long as its not our own wife thats been serving up that treat to men. that just never works, ever.

 

you can argue for the rest of your life, until you are blue in youe face, that it doesnt matter. but its all theoretical, and if you want to be happy in a practical manner in the real world. you just have to find a partner that feels sexually exclusive to you, or you will just keep argueing like people do here. not a good way to be happy:-)

 

lmao, we almost NEVER tell you the real number. We tell you the lowest number we think you'll accept and not go all bitch on us. The men who get honesty are the ones who can handle the truth

[Darren Taylor]

sooooo....she found a guy that wanted the same thing she did.....and the problem is? this statement is just plain stupid.

 

 

The problem is she has a history of making poor choices.

 

 

as to the lying about her virginity? sounds like she loved you so much and wanted you to think well of her that she told you what you wanted to hear.

Something married people do all the time to keep the peace. You sound imature. Cut her loose so she can find a grownup to share her life and gifts with

 

 

If she loved him so much, she would have been honest right from the get go. She wasn't.

 

lmao, we almost NEVER tell you the real number. We tell you the lowest number we think you'll accept and not go all bitch on us. The men who get honesty are the ones who can handle the truth

 

 

Typical comment from a low class woman. Sounds like you've been a bit promiscuous too and are defensive.

[TattooMommy]

The problem is she has a history of making poor choices.

 

 

 

 

 

If she loved him so much, she would have been honest right from the get go. She wasn't.

 

 

 

 

Typical comment from a low class woman. Sounds like you've been a bit promiscuous too and are defensive.

 

lmao.... yeah thats it

[Entropy3000]

Its better i leave her than spend many years resenting her, and for the people thinking am bad ever heard of WHAT YOU DO NOW HAS CONSEQUENCES GOOD OR BAD FOR THE FUTURE? What she did then has brought her HER consequences.if i decide to stay with her il never look at her the same NEVER.

 

If this is true it is unfortunate indeed. I suggest you should divorce her. You really cannot trust her. Good luck.

[Jazzari]

So did you love your wife or did you love the idea of being married to a virgin? Sounds like the latter.

 

Your wife is no different today then she was before you found out her sexual history. If you can't accept that and forgive her lie, then move on.

[Heart On]

So did you love your wife or did you love the idea of being married to a virgin? Sounds like the latter.

 

Your wife is no different today then she was before you found out her sexual history. If you can't accept that and forgive her lie, then move on.

 

 

Exactly right!

I think she should be the one leaving him for not loving her enough

to understand that she is not just a broken or intact hymen and what she did before she met him is NONE of his damn business.

 

I think it's just a convienent excuse to end a marriage you are bored within and not take personal responsibility for.Much easier to blame your wife.

 

Obviously she knew how closed minded and judgemental you were or she would have told you long before you got married.

 

Do her a favor.....leave.

 

the lie is not the problem. the fact that she is a slut is.

 

and you are right. men dont care about how women behave sexually, as long as its not our woman. if anything, we just get happier the more sluts there are around. increases our chances for uncomplicated sex:-) as long as its not our own wife thats been serving up that treat to men. that just never works, ever.

 

Some men don't have Madonna/Whore complexes they project onto women!

 

I hope she finds one.

[Darren Taylor]

Let's say the OP was a virgin when he met and married his wife, but claimed he slept with 32 women. What's in the past is the past, right?

 

The point I'm trying to make: The women defending OP's wife are hypocrites and certainly would not be defending the OP in the scenario I presented.

[Mcnulty]

Do you love her still? Does she love you still? If so, I would be feeling hurt and betrayed too and would be taking a break from the relationship to decide what i want to do and to let her know how hurt and let down i felt.

 

BUT, there is a lot of judgmental garbage on this thread...by men...slut...whore...low class woman??? BS, if a man had 32 prev. partners he's a stud, but if it's a woman...societies opinions will never change will they??? Yes she lied...find out why!!!

[NXS]

Your marriage is based on a lie, if she told you upfront then you would have made your decision based on the facts. Not only was she willing to lie in order to get you to marry her but she continued with the lie for the past 4 years. This shows she is completely untrustworthy and is probably lying about other things as well.

 

She's also a hypocrite, she had no problem banging all those other guys with no commitment but when Mr Right comes along she suddenly demands marriage/commitment.

 

Furthermore she's trying to turn it onto you by accusing you of having an affair.

[Darren Taylor]

Your marriage is based on a lie, if she told you upfront then you would have made your decision based on the facts. Not only was she willing to lie in order to get you to marry her but she continued with the lie for the past 4 years. This shows she is completely untrustworthy and is probably lying about other things as well.

 

She's also a hypocrite, she had no problem banging all those other guys with no commitment but when Mr Right comes along she suddenly demands marriage/commitment.

 

Furthermore she's trying to turn it onto you by accusing you of having an affair.

 

 

Agreed. And the last part is the classic sign of a cheater.

[DaisyLeigh]

Let's say the OP was a virgin when he met and married his wife, but claimed he slept with 32 women. What's in the past is the past, right?

 

The point I'm trying to make: The women defending OP's wife are hypocrites and certainly would not be defending the OP in the scenario I presented.

 

 

Um....yes some of us would. My husband WAS a virgin when we met and had told me that he was experienced. I found out later that he was NOT experienced. I forgave the lie, we got a good laugh out of it, and we have been married for 20 years. But, when I presented my story in this thread, I was told that it was not the same.

 

I am not a hypocrite in this case.

[DaisyLeigh]

Guys have no problem banging lots of chicks, and then settling down and wanting commitment from their Miss Right. Her lie aside, why is it so wrong for a woman to have slept around, but okay and fine and dandy for a man to do the same thing?

[Darren Taylor]

Guys have no problem banging lots of chicks, and then settling down and wanting commitment from their Miss Right. Her lie aside, why is it so wrong for a woman to have slept around, but okay and fine and dandy for a man to do the same thing?

 

 

It's not, but the OP doesn't bang guys. He bangs women. It's much easier for women to get sex. Think of it as when you were a kid, that new toy came out. It's all over the news and you want it. But once you and every other kid has it, it's value is next to zero. Same thing here. Women that sleep around have little to no value. Men prefer women with less experience, just like women prefer men with more experience. Just the way it is.

[chuckles11]

Guys have no problem banging lots of chicks, and then settling down and wanting commitment from their Miss Right. Her lie aside, why is it so wrong for a woman to have slept around, but okay and fine and dandy for a man to do the same thing?

 

Why are guys who don't want to pay the full cost of dates, cheap, creeps, not worthy of dating, etc? People put different expectations on different genders. Doesn't mean that it's right, it's just reality.

[Mcnulty]

"Men prefer women with less experience, just like women prefer men with more experience. Just the way it is."

 

What a load of tosh!!!!! You fall in love with someones eyes, their smell, the way they tilt their head, the way they listen to you like you're the only person in the world, they put you first and make you feel important and special!!!!!!

 

Neanderthal bs!!!!!!

[NXS]

Guys have no problem banging lots of chicks, and then settling down and wanting commitment from their Miss Right. Her lie aside, why is it so wrong for a woman to have slept around, but okay and fine and dandy for a man to do the same thing?

 

The hypocrisy comes in when women demand commitment from Mr Right while making no such demands when banging all those badboys for years. All of a sudden they are born again virgins and want the benefits of marriage before putting out.