Do you miss the ex or do you miss having a companion? hmm.

[shocked_confused]

I'm not really sure how to answer my own question really. My ex and I have been broken up for almost 6 months (after 5.5 years together). He still crosses my mind at some point everyday, but not as much as before.

 

I have a lot of good things going on in my life right now. A Caribbean vacation starting tomorrow, great job, amazing friends/social life, and I've been chatting up a new crush lately!

 

I still have some low points, like when my ex called a couple weeks ago to see how I was (that was the one and only time I've talked to him since right after we broke up). That kind of set me back a little, but I'm back on track now.

 

However, I'm not sure if I miss him or just miss having a boyfriend? I can't tell the difference. I can picture myself with other men now, whereas I never could have imagined it before. Sometimes I feel that if I have a new boyfriend, I'll be completely moved on. I don't want to sound like I need a guy to be happy because I am happy with many aspects of my life, but it would be nice to have someone new there to give you the final push you need to completely move on.

 

Does anybody else feel this way? For those who have gotten over an ex, did having a new bf/gf help you move on, or did you do it on your own?

 

Thanks!

[chris1987]

I am kinda in your shoes. I did see a girl for a short while after my break up. It did help but I wasn't ready for it and I feel like I broke her heart. If your ready go for it. You will know when the time comes. Just don't do it to fill a hole left in your life or because your are scared to be alone. That why I did it and thats why it didn't work for me.

I hope this helps you in some way.

[Fufu]

Im kind of in this stage now too but I figured that I really shouldn't be bothered if I just miss him or miss having a companion.

 

I was the one being dumped and let go and if my ex-bf ever wanted to be with me again, he should be the one to realize that breaking up is not the only path to choose.

 

In terms of moving on, it is always comes from you, yourself. Having a new companion will not help you truly move on. It just means that you do not have healthy self-confidence on you.

[happiness0421]

This is exactly what I am dealing with right now. Dated a guy for 6.5 years, I broke up with him in November (knew it wasn't meant to be). 3 weeks later, I met & got heavily involved with someone else. We moved way too fast and that relationship came crashing down 3.5 months later.

 

I really, really liked the most recent guy that I dated, but I think it was bad timing since I had just gotten out of something long-term. I often find myself thinking about my most recent ex, but not because I miss him or want to be with him - I think it is just me missing being in a relationship. I have not been single for 9 years, so this is a VERY new thing for me! But I know that jumping back into something right now would be a bad idea - I need to adjust to being single. It's just weird because it does feel like you miss the ex, but it's more of missing that companionship.

[Flgirl44]

I miss the companionship. I've been working on being happy alone for the past year or so. Sometimes I wonder if finding someone would help me as well. I just don't really want to deal with any of the down aspects of relationships right now though haha

[ShoeGurl1973]

I am trying to figure out the same thing. I notice that in general, i am ok with people around me so I am inclined to think its just the companionship. I miss having someone waiting for me when I come home, someone to cook for, snuggle at night. I'm not sure I miss the specifics about my ex though. In fact, if I start remember his bad points, i can talk myself out of missing him. I just miss the comfortability and familiarity. People, inluding myself, tend to think negatively when relationships get to the "confortable' stage. I would give anything to have it back though. Provided i could change several things about my ex, of course.

[justagirrl]

I think about this all the time! Is it him that I miss? or is it the constant communication and seeing each other, knowing you're important to someone that I miss? =/

[The Great Gazoo]

Both, but day by day it's less the ex and more the companionship