DontWorryBHappy Posted April 30, 2011 Share Posted April 30, 2011 Do you ever get a sinking feeling in your stomach when you KNOW your ex is currently doing something that ensures he or she is having more fun or a better time than you? Right now my ex is on a trip out of the country. It's a medical outreach trip, and he'll be meeting tons of people, seeing things like watching babies being born, giving medical care to people in the country, AND he's got two of his friends going with him in addition to the people he doesn't know. Yet I'm here at home, with nothing by empty spaces of time to think about all these awesome experiences he'll be having without me. I'm not an evil person that wants him to have a horrible time... but I'm still hurting so much over him, yet I feel like he's been given a great opportunity to take his mind off me and enhance his life, and I don't get that chance right now. I'm so bothered by this that I feel like the only solution is to avoid him from here on out. We have an understanding and he still cares for me, but I don't know if I want to sit through listening to all his wonderful experiences when he gets back while I'm struggling right now to not cry. Anyone feel like this? : / Link to post Share on other sites
dressing up Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 It doesn't even have to be something that I know. I'm thinking my guy friend is definitely having a lot of fun with his new girlfriend. For me, I just don't want to run into him or them ever. That would already be the best thing for me from thinking about how much they're enjoying their lives. Link to post Share on other sites
jeff2321 Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 If you go completely NC which includes NO facebook, no pictures of your ex, no mutual friends, no ANYTHING... then you won't know if they're having fun or not. For me the unknown is easier to deal with than knowing. I am 10 months NC and I don't know where my ex lives, her phone number, or if she's dating someone or married by now. I still have down days, but I'm nowhere near where I was 10 months ago when she decided to end our 4 year relationship. It has been a long painful road, but I wouldn't have gotten here "watching" my ex live her life the last 10 months. You must completely remove them from your life if you want to move on ( at least that's what I had to do ). Jeff2321 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontWorryBHappy Posted May 1, 2011 Author Share Posted May 1, 2011 Ya I hear you Jeff. My ex is off my facebook and I'm not talking to him now, but I already knew he was going on this trip previously... so I guess that's where I'm coming from now. I guess in time I'll know less, and therefore care less. But for now, I'm all too aware of where he is : /. Link to post Share on other sites
loverboy1984 Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 Im at 7wks NC but sometimes still wonder if they are doing better than I am. I want the best for her but It troubles me to think that she can move on past a 6yr relationship when supposedly she was so in love with me. Sometimes when I feel great I think she must be feeling better since shes so further along than me in the recovery process. FB is definitely a way to get you to think this. Ive disconnected it and defriended her. All I know is that the best parts of her life were spent with me. I cared for her and loved her and if shes happy now then great. I dont know why she broke up with me and not having closure is what makes me imagine so many things and wonder what she is feeling. I know it shouldnt matter. Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 If you go completely NC which includes NO facebook, no pictures of your ex, no mutual friends, no ANYTHING... then you won't know if they're having fun or not. For me the unknown is easier to deal with than knowing. I am 10 months NC and I don't know where my ex lives, her phone number, or if she's dating someone or married by now. I still have down days, but I'm nowhere near where I was 10 months ago when she decided to end our 4 year relationship. It has been a long painful road, but I wouldn't have gotten here "watching" my ex live her life the last 10 months. You must completely remove them from your life if you want to move on ( at least that's what I had to do ). Jeff2321 i agree with Jeff2321, the less you know about your ex - - the better off you are. at 8 weeks of NC i too have my bad days -- but they are getting to be less and less. i have no idea if he has a gf now or not - - and i don't care to know. i don't even want to know what he ate for breakfast this morning. the sooner this dude stops occupying more than his fair share of my headspace the better off i'll be. Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 Ignorance is bliss. For example one ex I turned away from when we split, made no effort to find out anything. Only found out about her life a year later when we met up and I didn't care less. Then most recent ex, I stupidly went looking for info. Saw all the happy fun filled pictures, found out about engagement and wedding plans... wish I'd never known. I always know though that no one has the perfect happy life, so no matter how amazing someone's life appears to be, what's going on underneath that rose tinted exterior may be totally different from what's going on deep down. Link to post Share on other sites
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