Kraut Posted April 9, 2004 Share Posted April 9, 2004 [font=arial][/font]Hi, My girlfriend of 3 months just had an emotional breakdown. She's going through alot(family related) and doesn't know what she want's to do with her life. (School etc.) I'm very jealous and insecure about relationships. We argue a lot about the past and things that really don't matter. We moved fast, she pretty much started staying here right away, and we do love each other very much. But by the time I realized how sensetive she was, and stopped arguing so much,and realized how the things affect her (saying things we don't really mean when we argue) she was already starting to be very sad. She says she doesn't know what she wants, and has been crying for days. She took all her stuff, and says she can't imagine me with anyone else, doesn't wan't to lose me, but she says that she doesn't know how she feels about anything, including if she wants to be with me. She does say she loves me. Everything is confusing to her. I love her and wan't to be with her but I don't know what to think. Is this over? Do we need to slow down? She says she feels alone, and feels like this will never go away. She also says she's never loved anyone like she has me before. She says I pushed her away with my jealousy, but I didn't intend to hurt her. I'm jealous b/c I worry, and wan't to keep her. And as time goes on, I feel less jealous and more comfortable, but can she believe me? What do I do? I care a great deal for her, even though it's a short time, and it's killing me. Does anyone understand how she feels? Can you explain... Link to post Share on other sites
befuddled11 Posted April 9, 2004 Share Posted April 9, 2004 You've only been together for 3 months, and it does sound like you both moved too quickly....especially into living together so soon. That can be quite an adjustment for some people. If she's got a lot of problems and stresses related to family and school, she likely just needs some time to HERSELF, to sort things out. Being with someone who's jealous and insecure can be another stressor, too. She likely feels pulled in many directions. It sounds like she does love you, but she's just emotionally (and maybe physically?) exhausted..and needs some breathing room and time to sort out her thoughts and feelings. Don't push her or pressure her. Just love her enough to let her have this breathing room. Don't compound her problems by making her feel pressured or guilted. Remind her that you love her, that you care about her, that you're her friend and that you're there for her. Then just let her be for a while. Don't call her several times a day, or even everyday. Don't bombard her with a million emails or text messages. Just give her some space, for if you don't, she'll feel so smothered that you'll surely lose her. Does she have any kind of support systems in place? You mentioned that she's going through a lot with her family. Does she have someone to talk to about this, other than you? A counsellor? A therapist? Her family doctor? Maybe you can encourage her to find someone like the above, to confide in...to help her get through these issues with her family. Best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
arie Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 What she needs is someone that is strong to help her out. I think that your insecurities have compounded the problem but it sounds like you have figured that out. Can you be strong for her? Can you put aside your insecurities and be there for her? That's what she needs. Work on your insecurities on your own time but only show her the strong you. Maybe you can have a good heart to heart talk to her and let her know that you realize that your emotions have caused problems for your relationship and that you love her enough to put those aside so that you can be there for her. Link to post Share on other sites
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