I Cheated on my boyfriend of 3 years

[Untouchable_Fire]

We have talked it out and i believe that him finding that note was a wake up call to myself. What was i thinking cheating on the one i love so much. I know know what it feels like to break the heart of the one i love so much. I know many of you have replied if i loved him i wouldnt have cheated. We all make mistakes and that was my huge mistake. I have learned from mine the hard way but i now know that i will Never cheat again. Going through this pain of watching him cry bc of what i have done and all the things that we used to have that i ahve lost bc of what i have done... I love him with all my heart and i will wait for him to heal... He has forgiven me and taken his ring back... All i can do know is be there for him and show him how much i love him and how WRONG i truly was.

 

You are right... we all make mistakes, but don't forget that we all PAY for those mistakes as well.

 

You did what you did... then compounded it by lieing. Now it's time to pay the piper. What are you willing to give him?

 

True but let's not forget this infidelity section is for both the cheatee and cheaters. They all have the right to seek for help. As much as I would want to say ''that relationship the OP now has with her boyfriend won't work'', there is always hope.... that's the last thing you can lose. You can lose everything but hope.

I don't know... sometimes it leads to name-callings or sarcasm such as ''There's nothing you can do, thanks to you he won't ever recover again''...

There are other ways of disagreeing or saying ''there's no hope'' without being too blunt/harsh.

 

Help doesn't mean just telling them what they want to hear. That helps nobody in the end.

 

Nobody likes to hear harsh words, but there are times when it's needed. Especially for those who are selfish and hurt others. They need to be told.

[John Michael Kane]

True but let's not forget this infidelity section is for both the cheatee and cheaters.

 

Doesn't matter. The most important person is the betrayed.

 

They all have the right to seek for help.

 

Cheaters know what they did was wrong and what they need to do in the aftermath. The betrayed? They're the ones who need comfort and guidance in order for them to rise above their tramping partners.

 

As much as I would want to say ''that relationship the OP now has with her boyfriend won't work'', there is always hope.... that's the last thing you can lose. You can lose everything but hope.

 

Which is why that "hope" is for finding a better relationship.

 

I don't know... sometimes it leads to name-callings or sarcasm such as ''There's nothing you can do, thanks to you he won't ever recover again''...

There are other ways of disagreeing or saying ''there's no hope'' without being too blunt/harsh.

 

This is a harmless internet forum with people who do not personally know each other. Honestly if a cheater can't take a few words of wisdom (which is not to be confused with the word "harsh") over a computer screen after they just hurt their partner in real life, it shows how immature they are in the first place. Validation towards a cheater helps no one.

[samsungxoxo]

This is a harmless internet forum with people who do not personally know each other. Honestly if a cheater can't take a few words of wisdom (which is not to be confused with the word "harsh") over a computer screen after they just hurt their partner in real life, it shows how immature they are in the first place. Validation towards a cheater helps no one.

How is being called worthless selfish scumbag or idiot words of wisdom and not telling them what should be done?

 

You can always said something like ''It's unlikely that your relationship will go back to the way it was since lying was involved in it too. Focus on the reaon behind it and what lead you to make a devastating choice (don't confuse it for a mistake). If he wants to end it, you will have to respect his wish.

 

See how this differs from a very insultive reply such as: Hopefully he dumps you because you're a selfish *****, you should have thought about it.

[samsungxoxo]

Help doesn't mean just telling them what they want to hear. That helps nobody in the end.

 

Nobody likes to hear harsh words, but there are times when it's needed. Especially for those who are selfish and hurt others. They need to be told.

I don't see how being called names helps. From what I seen, several posters have either got infuriated (replied back) or simply left for good. I think by now, they went to counseling or go help on their own.

 

You don't have to tell him what they want to hear, but it doesn't mean you have to go to the extreme of flaming them. There is always a balance.

Ex: ''I disagree with what you did'' vs ''You're a stupid idiot''.

[John Michael Kane]

How is being called worthless selfish scumbag or idiot words of wisdom and not telling them what should be done?

 

Because it's the truth and they know it themselves. They know that putting their partner's health at risk was dangerous, yet like a 14-year-old, they chose to act on impulse.

 

You can always said something like ''It's unlikely that your relationship will go back to the way it was since lying was involved in it too. Focus on the reaon behind it and what lead you to make a devastating choice (don't confuse it for a mistake). If he wants to end it, you will have to respect his wish.

 

I'm sorry but I didn't know I needed to be told how to give advice to someone.

 

See how this differs from a very insultive reply such as: Hopefully he dumps you because you're a selfish *****, you should have thought about it.

 

Yes I do see how it differs because in the previous text I quoted above, it says that one must find out why they cheated. As if they don't know why. No one is being insulting. People use that word to counter the truth. If you don't like what another poster says, move on because it's not that serious at the end of the day.

[samsungxoxo]

Because it's the truth and they know it themselves. They know that putting their partner's health at risk was dangerous, yet like a 14-year-old, they chose to act on impulse.

Let's see here..

How about if I were to be in a relationship and only making-out was involved. No health risk here (well except mononucleosis) but I'm friendly to others, have a wondering relationship with my parents and excel at college. So I'm I stupid right??, a retard just because of one bad choice (cheating still)?

 

So basically you define a person completely base on one thing. There are many things that would define someone.

 

Now I've been single since August and don't cheat... I'm just putting this as an example.

Say I was looking for advice but get none... all I get is ''you're stupid'' or ''you don't deserve him''. Then I would assume that I wasted time writing here and the guidelines are false... because everything is bias.

Yes I do see how it differs because in the previous text I quoted above, it says that one must find out why they cheated. As if they don't know why. No one is being insulting. People use that word to counter the truth. If you don't like what another poster says, move on because it's not that serious at the end of the day.

There are tons of reasons what lead a person to act on an impulse. The reason being ''because they wanted to'' isn't good enough. My question would then be ''And why did they wanted to, explain more''.

 

Same as you can't answer ''birds fly because they just do''. Obviously you would get a 0 if this was the only answer on an exam.