Had sex with a Prostitute

[R0botix]

Hey, think whatever you want, but i had sex with a prostitute the a couple weeks back. I'm 19 and my best mate convinced me to see what a prostitute would be like to have sex with. Apparently i had shown a bit of self-esteem issues? in geting girls (I've had girlfriends before by the way, actually i had one up until the end of january this year, though no sex). I said i would only scope out the brothel or escort service place where i we were going (i had no idea what i was getting myslef into, it was spontaneous/exciting/thrilling/scary to say the least before hand) I groomed myself and picked my mate up on the way up, not knowing what to make of this encounter. we assured each other we would be the same before. Long story short. since then we haven't hung out since and he felt terrible afterwards like his morals had been broken. i didn't feel bad afterwards, just different i guess. then it hit me and i felt so unclean and dirty and couldn't understand why i lost my virginity to a prostitute. it didn't help that the prostitute said i was very good for a virgin. it plays with my mind and heart and i was already starting to like another girl the experience, its just very weird. like i feel like a whore with no love to give anymore. i would give anything to go back to how i felt before or just the whole experience altogether.

[smudge21]

Is this a concern over sleeping with a prostitute or the fact you lost your virginity to someone you had to pay for?

 

The only one beating you up over paying for sex is you, so try to work out why. How did you feel before you did the deed? How did you feel during and after? Why are you making yourself feel bad over this? It's happened, you can't change it. You wanted to do it and you did. Hell, call it a life experience. If you hadn't done it now, then you might've been thinking about it all your life and done it later anyway, who's the know. Just put it behind you and move on. No one's got hurt.

 

Now if it's a case of your pissed cos you lost it to a woman you had to pay for, then you need to relax. I don't think the world is full of people who are happy with the way they lost their virginity. For most of us, we just rush in there, desperate to pop that cherry, that we barely care who we're with. I lost mine to someone who could easily be described as the town bike (sorry, but it's true). I too regretting that as thought I could do so much better. Maybe waited for the perfect girl. But it happened and I moved on.

 

What's done is done, you can't change it. You can either move on or just wallow in regret letting life pass you buy. You're young and only just starting out. Welcome to life - it goes like this sometimes. It's all part of the journey.

[VicJay79]

People make mistakes. Don't do this again. Respect women, and don't use them, even if they want you to.

 

 

 

Hey, think whatever you want, but i had sex with a prostitute the a couple weeks back. I'm 19 and my best mate convinced me to see what a prostitute would be like to have sex with. Apparently i had shown a bit of self-esteem issues? in geting girls (I've had girlfriends before by the way, actually i had one up until the end of january this year, though no sex). I said i would only scope out the brothel or escort service place where i we were going (i had no idea what i was getting myslef into, it was spontaneous/exciting/thrilling/scary to say the least before hand) I groomed myself and picked my mate up on the way up, not knowing what to make of this encounter. we assured each other we would be the same before. Long story short. since then we haven't hung out since and he felt terrible afterwards like his morals had been broken. i didn't feel bad afterwards, just different i guess. then it hit me and i felt so unclean and dirty and couldn't understand why i lost my virginity to a prostitute. it didn't help that the prostitute said i was very good for a virgin. it plays with my mind and heart and i was already starting to like another girl the experience, its just very weird. like i feel like a whore with no love to give anymore. i would give anything to go back to how i felt before or just the whole experience altogether.

[Cee]

My father lost his virginity to a prostitute when he was 19. His army buddies insisted. It's one of those family stories that is told in hushed tones. My dad had self-esteem issues and his own parents told him he'd never find a woman to marry.

 

It's a terrible story, really. And my dad wasn't the most socially adept person around. It was tough for him with dating, but eventually he found my mom. And she loved him until the day he died.

 

I share this story to say that there is hidden heartbreak in lots of first time stories. And I'm sorry you are in such pain. I wish you the best in integrating the experience and putting it behind you.

[TaraMaiden]

"unclean and dirty"...?

Imagine the feelings of the prostitute if you say this to her.

Hey, you went looking for her and paid her, she didn't find you and force you.

I find your post offensive in that this is something you guys chose to do, but now you're getting on your moral high-horses and considering the whole situation sordid, disgusting and ... what...."sinful"...?

 

If you want to be a man, be a man, and take it on the chin.

You went to a prostitute and you paid her to deflower you.

You got what you wanted.

Don't turn your cr*p on her, now.

 

My cousin in Italy visited a prostitute for his first time.

He maintains it was the best thing he could ever have done.

He went to her more than once, and "got lessons" on how to really pleasure a woman.

This was 15 years ago.

He's now married with a little kid.

his wife knows about his experiences.

In fact, he still sees the woman around town now and then, and they are cordial to one another.....

 

You need to get over this "dirty" mentality.

 

It's not constructive and it's not a nice attitude to have, towards someone who is basically kept in business by guys like you.

[tyciol]

Hey, think whatever you want

Thanks for the permission

 

i had sex with a prostitute the a couple weeks back.

Interesting, I've always been curious about that.

 

I'm 19 and my best mate convinced me to see what a prostitute would be like to have sex with. Apparently i had shown a bit of self-esteem issues? in geting girls (I've had girlfriends before by the way, actually i had one up until the end of january this year, though no sex).

He sounds like he's at least in part motivated by the intent of helping you.

 

I said i would only scope out the brothel or escort service place where i we were going (i had no idea what i was getting myslef into, it was spontaneous/exciting/thrilling/scary to say the least before hand)

Does sound pretty exotic.

 

I groomed myself and picked my mate up on the way up, not knowing what to make of this encounter. we assured each other we would be the same before.

Wait so did he get a prostitute for himself, or just wait in the car, or did you share her?

 

Long story short. since then we haven't hung out since and he felt terrible afterwards like his morals had been broken.

Hm, I guess people are like that sometimes. Maybe he feels he's done you wrong and assuring you that you don't feel bad/terrible like he does might lift a burden off his mind? That's only if you legitimately do of course, as I notice this changed...

 

i didn't feel bad afterwards, just different i guess. then it hit me and i felt so unclean and dirty

I hope you can take a shower and get over it. My guess is the sex workers at that brothel shower regularly themselves and have to wrestle with these feelings too, in varying degrees. They're humans, not demons, and you are not demeaned by sharing your body with them.

 

couldn't understand why i lost my virginity to a prostitute.

My guess is, you wanted sex and liked the idea your friend proposed to you, as mentioned above. Perhaps you also wanted the maturity which people are taught is supposed to come with sex. It often doesn't, and the lack of mental leap forward is sometimes disappointing. That's why I discourage people promoting the myth that it matures our mind, I don't think it necessarily does. People react differently to all kinds of experiences, and we can mature or not mature from anything.

 

it didn't help that the prostitute said i was very good for a virgin.

Did the compliment upset you because you thought it might mean you were not good compared to other men? Oddly enough, I think most clients/Johns aren't concerned with pleasuring the workers anyway so if you were 'good' it likely meant you were going above and beyond the norm even ignoring the virgin subgroup.

 

it plays with my mind and heart and i was already starting to like another girl

You can still like her, being with a sex worker/prostitute/harlot/whore/ho/etc. does not disqualify us from loving people.

 

the experience, its just very weird.

All new things are weird for us, but in the scope of humanity, what you experienced is probably not that unusual, although the secrecy in which people do it in modern society likely makes it seem so.

 

like i feel like a whore with no love to give anymore.

Whether or not you have love to give is your choice. I think a good place to start is extending some empathy to your fellow human being whose living you helped support. Imagine how awful you might feel if a girl felt that way about herself for having slept with you.

 

i would give anything to go back to how i felt before or just the whole experience altogether.

Really? ANYTHING? That seems a bit extreme. Like, would you cut off your earlobe? Probably not I'm guessing. I understand it's something you're upset about, but I think you'll get less carried away in depression if you avoid exaggerations like this.

[Ross MwcFan]

At least you know it'll now be impossible for you to get into your 30's and still be a virgin.

[tyciol]

It that supposed to be some kind of condolence Ross? Is there a problem with 30 year old virgins? I don't see any.

 

This guy is struggling with the shallowness of sexuality and people's reckless and desperate struggle to get laid sparing few costs. This whole "staying a virgin is lame get laid" type attitude which insults those who do not have sex seems to be what got him into this situation in the first place.

 

Personally, I think virginity is overrated, but at the same time, sex is too. I don't think we should desperately cling to chastity nor desperately seek to be rid of it. The whole high value we place over either sexual extreme seems inappropriate when there are more important subtle issues to base our esteem on.

[Ross MwcFan]

For most people who are virgins in their 30's, it's a major problem.

 

To others who aren't, it does come across as a problem, and very strange too.

[Sugarkane]

I agree with Ross people would find that very weird. If you felt it was so dirty and wrong, then why didn't you just wait a bit more?

[R0botix]

Well for starters, i respect her and for whatever reason she is a prostitute. I mean, i may HAVE been a virgin, but i'm not naive. Prostitution has been around since biblical times etc.. um well i felt bad that i didn't feel bad at all?(get what I mean?) My friend, to me i think, was acting a bit dramatically because his prostitute he said had bad breath and he was starting to freak out when we had both finished with our prostitutes (seperate of course) and left the place, he didn't want to go home for some reason. i felt like i had given her great time:) and it was very good sex too, apart from the fact that i tried to kiss her and she pulled away and then i realised.. oh uh what do you do in a situation like this? the weird thing is that it was very methodical i guess. you don't think its just going to be sex, but it turns out to be that. just an experience that i've now learnt to live with:) and now i agree, well virginty is what you make of it. its not a tangible object, more of a mental one and if you do lose it in an experience you may or may not like you can choose to value it or not.

[creighton0123]

It seems like you have a little self-guilt embedded in you from a social stigma surrounding sex.

 

Mainstream American culture is embedded with anti-sex sentiments that make people feel guilty about sex....

 

It's all rather silly.

 

You didn't use her. You didn't disrespect her. You paid her for sex. It's illegal in most places, but is still one of the world's oldest professions.

 

You do, however, seem to be a guy who wants to connect emotional worth with sex. Next time, go for that instead of paying a stranger to perform a service to/for you. You may find yourself being more fulfilled.

[Feelin Frisky]

OP, you made a poor choice. Consider yourself lucky there weren't more and harsher consequences than living with repressive conscience. You could have gotten busted, robbed, permanent herpes, permanent HIV. You now know what not to do. Move on and put this behind you.

[Mark11]

It seems like you have a little self-guilt embedded in you from a social stigma surrounding sex.

 

Mainstream American culture is embedded with anti-sex sentiments that make people feel guilty about sex....

 

It's all rather silly.

 

You didn't use her. You didn't disrespect her. You paid her for sex. It's illegal in most places, but is still one of the world's oldest professions.

 

You do, however, seem to be a guy who wants to connect emotional worth with sex. Next time, go for that instead of paying a stranger to perform a service to/for you. You may find yourself being more fulfilled.

 

Excellent point and almost exactly what I would've said. OP, there's no reason for you to feel guilty or dirty. I too lost my virginity to a hooker when I was 19 and I been doin em every since.