tealeafbud Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 i'm single and 40 yrs old. my family is planning a tour vacation to the philippines in july. my mom, dad, sister, and brother in law are going. my aunt, uncle, newly divorced cousin, and other cousin and her husband are going. I'm not really into tour vacations and dread the plane trip as well as the heat in july. I just don't think i'll be interested in the tour and even though my dad's paying, I think it will be worthwhile for me. I've seen the itinerary and wasn't too thrilled. Id much rather use the time off for something else. I know I sound selfish but wouldn't it be selfish for my family to force me to go? I don't want to be the oddball out, but the thought of the trip simply doesn't interested me. what should i do? Link to post Share on other sites
dongkong Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 Well you got to ask yourself. Who can ya have fun with on this trip? What i mean is, is ther anyone on this trip who to get along with? Alot of times trips are made fun by the people we are with. If you got a good friendship with your cousins, it could turn out to be a fun trip. But to answer your question, no your not selfish to not wanna go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tealeafbud Posted May 2, 2011 Author Share Posted May 2, 2011 thanks dongkong. i get along with everybody, but with exception to one of my cousins, i see everyone pretty often. the trip wouldn't even be that long also. I guess I'm really looking at the money being spent compared to how much time we'll be there, and in my opinion, it's not worth it. also, the thought of being in a huge group of people scares me. i guess you could call it social anxiety, but that in addition to the non-interest of the trip overall makes me really not want to go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tealeafbud Posted May 5, 2011 Author Share Posted May 5, 2011 sorry to bump this, but now my family is almost begging me to go which is making it more of a control issue. I made my decision not to go, and now my immediate family is threatening to not even go, which I really don't see happening. I see that as a bluff. This issue is really upsetting me, my mom who wants me to go, my sister who is upset also, and probably my dad. I don't see why they won't respect my decision and want me to go on this trip so bad. It's not a big deal. I'm sure they'll all have a good time without me. It's very confusing. They might be more worried about what it's going to "look" like if I don't go. They're always worried about what other people think. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 For the trip to be worthwhile for you, there's GOT to be something appealing beyond just pleasing family. IMO, they're being pretty selfish applying the pressure when as an adult, you've made the decision you're not interested. I suggest holding your ground. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tealeafbud Posted May 5, 2011 Author Share Posted May 5, 2011 For the trip to be worthwhile for you, there's GOT to be something appealing beyond just pleasing family. IMO, they're being pretty selfish applying the pressure when as an adult, you've made the decision you're not interested. I suggest holding your ground. thanks cerridwn. i am holding my ground, but it's really difficult knowing that I'm disappointing a lot of people. now my aunt and uncle are trying to get me to reconsider. they're laying some guilt trip on me that it might be the last time i'll be going to the philippines with everyone. I also don't want to piss my mom off since it's Mother's day sunday. it's stressing me out to the point that if I were a recovering drug addict, I'd be doing tons of drugs right now. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 Just a thought as I am close-ish to your age. I know my father is more keen than ever to have family time when we all get together which I do believe is because he is worried that as he is ageing, there is less time to be had with his family and he wants to enjoy and share time with us all. I totally get this and this may be what your parents are thinking (depending on their age and health). For myself, I know I am more than willing to "bend" more than I used to so that I spend more time with my Dad. I don't know how long I will have to do that but I know it will never be enough. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tealeafbud Posted May 6, 2011 Author Share Posted May 6, 2011 Just a thought as I am close-ish to your age. I know my father is more keen than ever to have family time when we all get together which I do believe is because he is worried that as he is ageing, there is less time to be had with his family and he wants to enjoy and share time with us all. I totally get this and this may be what your parents are thinking (depending on their age and health). For myself, I know I am more than willing to "bend" more than I used to so that I spend more time with my Dad. I don't know how long I will have to do that but I know it will never be enough. they're aging, but they're still stubborn as hell. This is how F'd up my mom is, she might be buying the ticket anyway. I can't possibly see how a little issue such as this would tear our family apart. WTF???????????????????? Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 they're aging, but they're still stubborn as hell. This is how F'd up my mom is, she might be buying the ticket anyway. I can't possibly see how a little issue such as this would tear our family apart. WTF???????????????????? Dang, tea. Link to post Share on other sites
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