Believe In Love

[daisy love]

I just wanted to take this opportunity to tell fellow Other Women to believe in the love you share with your MM.

This forum is so jaded about love, especially when a MP is involved. Only YOU know what you share. If you love each other, trust that love to lead you along your journey.

BIG HUGS!!!

[Cabin]

I just wanted to take this opportunity to tell fellow Other Women to believe in the love you share with your MM.

This forum is so jaded about love, especially when a MP is involved. Only YOU know what you share. If you love each other, trust that love to lead you along your journey.

BIG HUGS!!!

 

Great post Daisy.

I am new here, but I have found in reading the threads that many stories are negative. It makes me wonder if this forum is really a representative sample of the population of people having A or leaving MPs for their AP. It is possible that those who make the decision to leave and make a life with their AP simply don't have need of this kind of community and support, therefore they aren't posting... know what I mean?

[26pointblue]

Great post Daisy.

I am new here, but I have found in reading the threads that many stories are negative. It makes me wonder if this forum is really a representative sample of the population of people having A or leaving MPs for their AP. It is possible that those who make the decision to leave and make a life with their AP simply don't have need of this kind of community and support, therefore they aren't posting... know what I mean?

 

Hopefully one or both of you can tell us if it does work out for you. And I mean that with all sincerity, not sarcasm. It's just that usually these same people are back saying 'everyone was right, I am heartbroken.' And so I think people would rather err on the side of helping someone deal with the situation realistically then leading them on in their naivity. And no offense but I see naivity & denial written all over both of your posts. [As I'm sure I have some in mine.] So if it does work out I would love to know but I'm not holding my breath for my situation or either of yours. Just because it usually doesn't end up working out that way & from the sounds of it based on your posts & Daisy's & mine [ha ha], I don't think any of our odds are good. We do have to keep that in mind or else we are just foolish! [i feel foolish anyway, but, whatev.]

 

I do believe in love but words must follow actions, & decisions must be made or else love will get you nowhere. Towards the end when my xMM said he loved me [but was unsure of whether he could leave his family to be with me], I told him well that & some change can get me a bus ticket. And I meant it because it's true & I hope neither of you look at 'love' on its own as a means to an end . . . it takes a lot lot more than that.

[Heart On]

I just wanted to take this opportunity to tell fellow Other Women to believe in the love you share with your MM.

This forum is so jaded about love, especially when a MP is involved. Only YOU know what you share. If you love each other, trust that love to lead you along your journey.

BIG HUGS!!!

 

I have to say for myself,

 

I am far from jaded about love,so much as disgusted with MM who

refuse to get off the fence,use other women for SEX,and claim

to love them, but continue to go home to thier wives and play

the "good husband" role and tell THEM they love them too,

oh....and continue to have SEX with them also!

It's a farce, a con and utter hypocracy if you ask me.

 

But hey,believe in (or deny reality) all you want.

 

If you are fine with settling for someone else's husband's

sneaky,lying,sexually needy ways,and her seconds, all the power to you.

 

Call it love if it makes you feel better.The truth is much uglier and harder to swallow than his wad.

 

Ask him if he loves you enough to be HONEST with his wife,stop keeping you his dirty secret,and leave her for you and see how much he "loves" either of you.

 

Nah....Why would he do THAT? You allow him to have his cake and eat you too.....and gives you gifts he should be giving to the woman he leaves at home to see you.

 

If he has the guts to cheat on his wife with you,why doesn't he have the guts to leave her and stop betraying her and patronizing her with omissions?

 

Real Love...NEVER lies.And at the very least,your "loving" MM could

at least have the decency to come clean to his wife instead of just cumming dirty with you.

 

I don't see cheating as loving in anyway shape or form....That's why I LEFT my xH even though my xMM didn't promise me a thing because he had nothing REAL to offer me anyways.

 

LOVE is REAL if you are with a man of character,whom you don't share with another woman who is clueless that she is living a lie.

 

Continue to be his willing accompliss to your own self destruction...and call it love ADDICTION.Not love.

 

One day,you will wake up and he WILL be gone.

 

Enjoy the SEX while it lasts.....

 

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/national/health/march99/infid033099.htm

[daisy love]

<sigh> IF you love your AP and believe in your love, please reply. If you came here to **** on my thread, please go **** on something else!! thank you!!

[Anna101]

As expected, the negative reply comes from someone with an EX mm.

 

It's easy to believe that if the stereotype happened to you, then it is 'true' and will be true for everyone else.

 

There ARE many lying, cheating *******s out there who are just using someone for sex, but there ARE also genuine people who genuinely love each other.

 

My MM did not want to hurt either of us. He did not have the guts at first to leave her, or leave me. Yep, it's selfish and yep, it's weak, but it's also human.

 

He told me the truth - he was physically faithful to me. Their marriage *was* troubled. But familiarity is a very strong pull, and it is easy to SAY just leave your marriage, and another thing to hurt someone you still care about and walk away into the unknown.

 

My MM DID LEAVE. YES, SOME LEAVE.

 

We HAD a happy ending, however hard it was. He mourned his marriage, he still cares for his ex wife, those things don't disappear, OW around or not. But we do GENUINELY love each other, and have put work and effort and love into building our r/ship post affair. We have a darling baby, and hopefully things will continue to work out.

 

My partner is a wonderful person who made some mistakes, out of fear, some selfishness, and some weakness. That doesn't equate to ALWAYS being selfish and weak, an action is not a personality. Good people do stupid things, and anyone who thinks otherwise is just naive.

 

So yes, don't believe the stereotypes are a given, just believe that they ARE common and many affairs DO end in tragedy, for all involved. Just like any r/ship, some work out, some don't.

[bentnotbroken]

Anybody else need toilet paper?

[Heart On]

<sigh> IF you love your AP and believe in your love, please reply. If you came here to **** on my thread, please go **** on something else!! thank you!!

 

So sorry to seem as though I am s h i t t i n g on you.It's not personal.

It's just my OPINION.No need to get your panties in a knot....

 

I just found out the HARD way that affairs aren't HEALTHY for all concerned.

 

BTW....I did try to edit it to make it less confrontational....

i couldn't do it.

 

Bottom line.....if you're ok being someone's dirty secret...who am I to remind you you deserve MUCH BETTER!~

 

But... IF he did truly love you

don't you think he would feel the same?

 

I just don't consider ANY MM to be worthy of loving anymore since they

already have women they love enough to not leave, in thier lives.

Just a reality check really.But you have the choice to ignore reality if you want.I know I did for a few years of my life.....wasted time.

 

LOVE...is an amazing thing.....and this about sums it up for me.

 

Loving other people is sort of a top priority for me, and along the way, I’ve learned that the risk of getting hurt is part of the price you pay for the privilege of loving another human being.

 

As I see it, we are made to love and be loved. Belonging, connecting, relating and interacting are what we are intended to do as human beings. Giving love and receiving love are almost as essential to our health and well-being as food, water and air, and being hurt in relationships is just part of the package.

 

Indeed, there are different kinds of love, and some people are braver at loving and being loved than others. There are different ways of loving, some of them healthier and more mature than others, and some people confuse needing someone else with loving them.

 

Some people think loving another person means you possess them or own them, when the truth is healthy love sets the loved one free.

 

The one thing I know for sure is that to close oneself to the possibility of loving another human being, whether in romantic love or friendship or love for a child, is the same as cutting off the life force that wants to course through a plant. Deprive yourself of giving and receiving love long enough, and something in you will die.

 

So it is on in this month of hearts and flowers, I am reminded that love in any form is one gigantic risk. Loving means you will have to lose something along the way, but there is also the possibility you will gain more than you ever dreamed. You just don’t know, on the front end, what love will require of you.

 

To love is to open yourself up to the possibility of losing the one you love.

 

To love is to risk being rejected, hurt, betrayed and abandoned.

 

To love another person and let them love you is a guarantee that you will be disillusioned and disappointed, but you might also find yourself delighted in ways you never imagined.

 

Loving another human being is to walk right into the refining fire that will reveal you to yourself. It will show you where your own weaknesses are, and it will point a laser beam on your most selfish, self-serving, narcissistic parts. (You know what they are; they are the parts you don’t want anyone else to know about.)

 

The good part is that loving another person also has the possibility of revealing your strengths and virtues, your generosity and patience, as well as your ability to be tolerant and gracious.

 

To love and be loved will cost you more time, money and energy than you may plan, and you’ll lose some of your pride and arrogance along the way. The price of that Valentine’s card you send is a tiny drop in an enormous ocean of what it will cost you to let yourself love another human being.

 

You just don’t know until you get into it what love will require of you, and you don’t know what the return on your investment will be. That is what makes love one of life’s Grand Adventures, fraught with danger and risk but full of promise and possibility.

 

 

Jeanie Miley

 

But....the risks of loving a married man or woman goes WAY up and are more a symptom of something broken in the individuals than about love.

 

Just saying as an Xow to a very selfish narcissistic man.

 

But I know...your's is 'different'.

 

Strange how you couldn't respond to ANYTHING I wrote though.

And this IS a pubic forum and I have a right to post my thoughts here just like you do.

 

Take what you can handle...leave the rest.

[Silly_Girl]

Heart On..... I understand you're bitter as hell, your story pops up in most of your posts.

 

Daisy has had a LOT of wary and cautious warnings given to her by well-meaning posters. If she still wants to celebrate that's up to her. It's her thread

[Heart On]

As expected, the negative reply comes from someone with an EX mm.

 

Funny thing,I am sure that I would have been ALOT worse off had I wound up with my xMM and am relieved that he didn't leave her now that i am out of his grips.IHis hook and pity ploys were all lies.But I DO understand being unhappily married and willing to DO something about it besides cheat and betray those who trust me with thier lives just to get thier sexual needs met outside thier marriage.When you realize that 60% of MM cheat,and most don't EVER leave thier wives,you have to admit there are ALOT of very unhappy OW's out there and I have known ALOT via forums!

 

I hate to say,I have read thousands more negative stories about affairs than positive ones.Glad yours worked out for you....obviously it's not black or white.

 

But guess what?

 

I thankfully am with man who I don't share with another woman and it's a MAJOR difference to my emotional well being!

 

Just wishing that for the OP....sorry to care more than she does about herself.

[fooled once]

I just wanted to take this opportunity to tell fellow Other Women to believe in the love you share with your MM.

This forum is so jaded about love, especially when a MP is involved. Only YOU know what you share. If you love each other, trust that love to lead you along your journey.

BIG HUGS!!!

 

Everyone should believe in love, not just OW.

 

People who are in love should work at their relationship so that it can withstand temptation from an outside person.

 

I take my marriage/relationship very seriously.

[Silly_Girl]

Everyone should believe in love, not just OW.

 

People who are in love should work at their relationship so that it can withstand temptation from an outside person.

 

I take my marriage/relationship very seriously.

 

But FO. Daisy is posting from the viewpoint that she thinks this forum is predominantly for OW/OM....

[whichwayisup]

If you don't like this forum..leave. There are tons of OW sites, and one run by exOw who used to be on here. maybe you should go join their site and be catered to the type of advice you're looking for and need.

 

Some OW and OM end up with their MM/MW. The few that do, have MP's who make a plan, quickly and follow through. They don't keep the A and A dynamic going on for years. They make a choice, and stick to it! Those MM also are honest, don't play games and don't continue lying, gaslighting and betraying their wives. They say I'm separating and it happens. Not just words.. there's action! If GEL was here, she'd agree with me on this.

 

A MM or MW who TRULY wants to divorce, will. Those who don't, are just happy having an affair and staying married.

 

Question is, what type of MM do you have? One who promises you the world, spoils you, makes you feel good, yet doesn't follow through? And still "lives life" with his wife? or is he one to come clean, lay it all out there and DO something to change his life? Divorce?

 

Time will tell.

[bentnotbroken]

Wasn't Believe in Love a title Cher's last hit?

[BB07]

As expected, the negative reply comes from someone with an EX mm.

 

It's easy to believe that if the stereotype happened to you, then it is 'true' and will be true for everyone else.

 

There ARE many lying, cheating *******s out there who are just using someone for sex, but there ARE also genuine people who genuinely love each other.

 

My MM did not want to hurt either of us. He did not have the guts at first to leave her, or leave me. Yep, it's selfish and yep, it's weak, but it's also human.

 

He told me the truth - he was physically faithful to me. Their marriage *was* troubled. But familiarity is a very strong pull, and it is easy to SAY just leave your marriage, and another thing to hurt someone you still care about and walk away into the unknown.

 

My MM DID LEAVE. YES, SOME LEAVE.

 

We HAD a happy ending, however hard it was. He mourned his marriage, he still cares for his ex wife, those things don't disappear, OW around or not. But we do GENUINELY love each other, and have put work and effort and love into building our r/ship post affair. We have a darling baby, and hopefully things will continue to work out.

 

My partner is a wonderful person who made some mistakes, out of fear, some selfishness, and some weakness. That doesn't equate to ALWAYS being selfish and weak, an action is not a personality. Good people do stupid things, and anyone who thinks otherwise is just naive.

 

So yes, don't believe the stereotypes are a given, just believe that they ARE common and many affairs DO end in tragedy, for all involved. Just like any r/ship, some work out, some don't.

 

OK........Daisy there you go, read it and read it again and again, this is how real life works and yes it's a rare thing that OW ends up with the guy but yes sometimes it does happen and even if it does........it's hard DAISY, very hard.

 

However.......Daisy you seem hell bent on not accepting the hard cold reality that most men DON'T leave. Which ever way it goes.......you should prepare yourself.

 

BTW.......since you aren't a mod, it's not up to you to say who can and who can't post in your thread. Most of us really are trying to help you Daisy.......in spite of what you think.

[Rose1977]

Wasn't Believe in Love a title Cher's last hit?

 

 

Ironically enough, that song was called "Life After Love"

[BB07]

Good posts Heart on and WWIU!

[bentnotbroken]

Ironically enough, that song was called "Life After Love"

 

 

Thanks, not a huge Cher fan...but it sounded good. :p

[thissecretgirl]

If you don't like this forum..leave. There are tons of OW sites, and one run by exOw who used to be on here. maybe you should go join their site and be catered to the type of advice you're looking for and need.

 

 

With all due respect, why should she? This is a forum for OW/OM.

 

Perhaps if many of you dont care for the nature of her posts or OW/OM who want to discuss the good things about their relationship, refrain from posting yourself or go to the infidelity/marriage forum.

 

This is beginning to be a common occurance here and although I might not completely agree with what Daisy sometimes says, I for one am pleased that she is posting about her experiences of being an AP and if that means celebrating love, so be it; thats what this forum is for.

Love isnt just something shared within a marriage. Indeed, it often isnt shared at all and thats the harsh reality.

Seriously it is tiresome and frustrating to see OW post and their threads become inundated by BS who project their own hurt and experinces onto them. Yes now and again there are some helpful posts, but often thats not the case.

 

So why should she or any OW/OM leave? If you want to look at who has more of a right to be in the OW/OM forum, perhaps the clue is in the thread title.

Daisy, I hope you stay for that reason alone. I know I will be.

[whichwayisup]

With all due respect, why should she? This is a forum for OW/OM.

 

Perhaps if many of you dont care for the nature of her posts or OW/OM who want to discuss the good things about their relationship, refrain from posting yourself or go to the infidelity/marriage forum.

 

This is beginning to be a common occurance here and although I might not completely agree with what Daisy sometimes says, I for one am pleased that she is posting about her experiences of being an AP and if that means celebrating love, so be it; thats what this forum is for.

Love isnt just something shared within a marriage. Indeed, it often isnt shared at all and thats the harsh reality.

Seriously it is tiresome and frustrating to see OW post and their threads become inundated by BS who project their own hurt and experinces onto them. Yes now and again there are some helpful posts, but often thats not the case.

 

So why should she or any OW/OM leave? If you want to look at who has more of a right to be in the OW/OM forum, perhaps the clue is in the thread title.

Daisy, I hope you stay for that reason alone. I know I will be.

 

Well, how is creating tons of threads about how unhappy she is here on LS and feels like she isn't getting support by various people.

 

She can do what everybody else does... Take the advice that she sees fit and ignore the rest. It isn't helping HER that she is throwing fits and saying 'i need protection on this site'..

 

I'm not forcing her to go. Or to stay. Just accept LS for what it is, you're gonna get ALL kinds of advice, good/bad/indifferent/supportive/harsh/reality checks. Just bitching about it constantly in her other replies on other threads too gets tiresome.

 

OFcourse she has a right to be here...Just like everybody else...And with that, everybody has DIFFERENT ways of giving advice, not ALL of it is hand holding and coddling...Seems to me, she's looking for that particular type of advice and I gave her a suggestion, that is all. There IS another OW board by invitation only, so it is possible she may fit in better over there and get the support she wants and needs.

 

Just my 2 cents.

[bentnotbroken]

Well, how is creating tons of threads about how unhappy she is here on LS and feels like she isn't getting support by various people.

 

She can do what everybody else does... Take the advice that she sees fit and ignore the rest. It isn't helping HER that she is throwing fits and saying 'i need protection on this site'..

 

I'm not forcing her to go. Or to stay. Just accept LS for what it is, you're gonna get ALL kinds of advice, good/bad/indifferent/supportive/harsh/reality checks. Just bitching about it constantly in her other replies on other threads too gets tiresome.

 

OFcourse she has a right to be here...Just like everybody else...And with that, everybody has DIFFERENT ways of giving advice, not ALL of it is hand holding and coddling...Seems to me, she's looking for that particular type of advice and I gave her a suggestion, that is all. There IS another OW board by invitation only, so it is possible she may fit in better over there and get the support she wants and needs.

 

Just my 2 cents.

 

 

Agreed. Creating multiple threads about how sorry everyone else's response are to her's and others situations are not to her liking...take it or leave...it is what it is.

[daisy love]

Agreed. Creating multiple threads about how sorry everyone else's response are to her's and others situations are not to her liking...take it or leave...it is what it is.

I know what it is. I know what he is to me. I know what I am to him. I know what our love is. Every time I write something about it here, I'm barraged with comments by people telling me what it's NOT. Nice double standard.

[bentnotbroken]

I know what it is. I know what he is to me. I know what I am to him. I know what our love is. Every time I write something about it here, I'm barraged with comments by people telling me what it's NOT. Nice double standard.

 

 

If you know it so well, who are you trying to convince those who don't by even responding to the "naysayers". What's the point? We all agree our beliefs are strong enough not to change thiem. Your belief in your situation is strong. I say hang on for dear life.

[whichwayisup]

I know what it is. I know what he is to me. I know what I am to him. I know what our love is. Every time I write something about it here, I'm barraged with comments by people telling me what it's NOT. Nice double standard.

 

Because you are not in the same City as him, in all honesty, you don't know what goes on when he isn't with you.

 

If you are happy, great! Good for you..Enjoy this for as long as you can.. But, eventually you're going to want more and with that, you'll put pressure on your MM, force his hand to choose between you and his wife, possibly even try to call her and tell her you want her husband (yes I can see you showing up at their house, ready to fight her for her husband) and that is when he'll back off of you.

 

If you are so happy then what everybody says here that you don't agree with shouldn't bother you at all.

[daisy love]

What everybody says here doesn't bother me. I know our relationship, and I am secure in it. I am bothered, however, by everybody that can't accept that I could be right about my own relationship.