Rinnix Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 I see myself as a overall good person. I treat others how id like to be treated, I go out of my way to help those In need. I stand up for those being picked on, I volunteer with children. I help my grandmother who can't walk with shopping every week. I have a big heart and always try and cheer up those who are around me. I try and keep a positive attitude even when things get hard. I never thought that I was unattractive, I always liked the way I look, I can't complain with most of what I was given. I have flaws but I think that they give me character, and make me unique. Regardless of my good qualities, people still let me know how I don't meet there standards. whether online, or in reality someone always has a snarky or cruel comment towards me about my looks, or who I am as a person. I've learned to just let the comments pass. I let people be entilted to there own opinon. But, after awhile these comments do build up. I don't go out of my way to harm people or to put them down, so why am I a target of abuse? I sign on some of the websites I use, look on my profile and I'm left comments like this: "I see a horse faced girl who desperately needs to pick a hair style and learn what mousse is. " "You belong in a zoo." "Your a failure, you won't get anywhere." I've also been called buck teeth, beaver teeth, and compared to numerous unappealing things. I know it's expected with my age range (20's) but when will this nonsence end? When will people realize that there behaviour is intolerable. These people need to take a look at themselves before being spiteful to others. My life is dysfunctional as it is. I'm pretty sure my mother's having a midlife crisis, my father is the only one working to support our family. I have an autistic brother. My boyfriend of 5 years is moving provinces away to live with his family who hate me, yet never met me. I'm tired of other drama being added to the pile that is my life. It feels like I'm living in a pathetic soap opera. I know that this kind of behaviour is expected online, but when will it stop? Just because your hidden behind a screen it doesn't give you a right to put people down. I just needed to vent, but anyone who has some input would be appreciated too. Link to post Share on other sites
SxB Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 I see myself as a overall good person. I treat others how id like to be treated, I go out of my way to help those In need. I stand up for those being picked on, I volunteer with children. I help my grandmother who can't walk with shopping every week. I have a big heart and always try and cheer up those who are around me. I try and keep a positive attitude even when things get hard. I never thought that I was unattractive, I always liked the way I look, I can't complain with most of what I was given. I have flaws but I think that they give me character, and make me unique. Regardless of my good qualities, people still let me know how I don't meet there standards. whether online, or in reality someone always has a snarky or cruel comment towards me about my looks, or who I am as a person. I've learned to just let the comments pass. I let people be entilted to there own opinon. But, after awhile these comments do build up. I don't go out of my way to harm people or to put them down, so why am I a target of abuse? I sign on some of the websites I use, look on my profile and I'm left comments like this: "I see a horse faced girl who desperately needs to pick a hair style and learn what mousse is. " "You belong in a zoo." "Your a failure, you won't get anywhere." I've also been called buck teeth, beaver teeth, and compared to numerous unappealing things. I know it's expected with my age range (20's) but when will this nonsence end? When will people realize that there behaviour is intolerable. These people need to take a look at themselves before being spiteful to others. My life is dysfunctional as it is. I'm pretty sure my mother's having a midlife crisis, my father is the only one working to support our family. I have an autistic brother. My boyfriend of 5 years is moving provinces away to live with his family who hate me, yet never met me. I'm tired of other drama being added to the pile that is my life. It feels like I'm living in a pathetic soap opera. I know that this kind of behaviour is expected online, but when will it stop? Just because your hidden behind a screen it doesn't give you a right to put people down. I just needed to vent, but anyone who has some input would be appreciated too. I wouldn't take people like that seriously, they are just fault finding dramaqueens who are on a selfish quest to overrule everyone because they can't rule themselves. Let's face it-- we can all find imperfection in everything, people who choose to find only the negativism have already given up. People will be this way in person too...A LOT, people on mad a powertrip aren't just Online, but you're right...more of them will be because it's EASIER to just sit down. When a person has NO selfesteem they have a STRONG a neediness for validity, so they attention whore for drama so they can have competition on purpose and some one to beat and be in control of. They won't pick a challenge, they will pick people who they know they can get away doing it with. Some people have EXTREME low points in there lives which are temporary and they become this way, other people are this way pretty much all the time and it's the way they have chosen to live and they think they have no escape, they already past there passive aggressive depression stage and have upped it a level to being an angry all-aggressive problem creator/troublemaker. What can you do? Be built to last- The World doesn't care if your Life is already stressful, you have your own Life to deal with AND the rest of the World to deal with too. You can't always avoid conflict/drama in Life the only choice you have is how you're going to deal with it. Drama is inevitable and common but that doesn't mean you need to be like them and start sh*it and clown. Don't change for these asswipes but do build more aggression into your character all the way around. Walk out into the world fully-armoured and ready for all types of people, without expectations of others, without being shocked of nothing, and without exhibiting to others any passive behaviors. Write out a list of personal boundaries for all types of scenarios for your social Life, when your boundaries get crossed write out a solution, with no mercy or care. Never put up with no ones ****, never be a doormat. Always express yourself but always also disassociate yourself from those you do not fair well with, don't argue, don't fight (unless you have too). An argument is an opinion-war... what's the use of that if you already have your own opinions down and grounded? What's the use of some one trying to tell you what is right and wrong, when you are your only judge? How people are doesn't matter, how you deal with them is the only thing that has to matter. And I know you're facing madness right now in your Life, so just do the best you can, and stop thinking you are superhuman, your mind will be in a knot and zigzag at times like a tangled up rope, it happens, but believe in yourself, believe in what you're capable of doing, don't doubt yourself, and while falling is inevitable, never give up. These people simply do not matter because the World offers no security only opportunity- they offer you no opportunity, so toss'em in the trash. Walk out of each situation in Life the same person or smarter/stronger. Through our tough times we get put through the test- it's easy to be a tough when there is no battle and it's easy to be weak when there is one. "I've also been called buck teeth, beaver teeth, and compared to numerous unappealing things. I know it's expected with my age range (20's) but when will this nonsence end?" ::Shrugs:: So a bunch of 15 year olds are hitting you up? Tell them you aren't there to babysit and drop the ignore quicker than you can read there bedtime story. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 I've learned to just let the comments pass. This is the best way to handle those types of personalities Rinnix Try not to let some of the toxic posters here or anywhere else on the internet affect you.. Learn to use the ignore feature of the website.. I do..and use it tons... I just needed to vent, but anyone who has some input would be appreciated too. Vent away.. Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 Don't take the internet so seriously... Many people live a different life to their real one online because their real life is very boring. They try to stir up sh*t to add spice to their dull life. It's very evident on a site like this one. If that's you in the pic under your username, you look quite pretty to me. It's just the internet at the end of the day. Link to post Share on other sites
Ross MwcFan Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 (edited) Really sorry that you have to deal with this. I know how it feels because I have had to put up with it in real life sometimes, and it can be really hurtful and make you feel less of a person. Let me just say there is definatley nothing wrong with the way you look. You actually look quite attractive. Could it be your body language that makes some people target you in real life? What I mean is, if you don't feel that confident, or you don't have that much self esteem, it'll show in your body language, and *******s will be more likely to target you. I've got no idea why women attack your profile online, maybe this is a common thing to happen to women, because I 'think' they can be more catty and jealous than men. Edited May 3, 2011 by Ross MwcFan Link to post Share on other sites
silvermane187 Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 The internet is full of trolls and jerks. You shouldn't post your picture on a public forum if you don't have thick skin. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rinnix Posted May 3, 2011 Author Share Posted May 3, 2011 Thanks guys. It's not just the net(not anyone on LS either) it's people who I know in person too. They just happen to find my blogs and it's rather ridiculous. I don't have low self esteem, and I don't go around making drama, which is why Im so puzzled as to why I'm always a target. I'm generally a quiet and reserved girl, so I just don't get it. Link to post Share on other sites
silvermane187 Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 Well, people in general are trolls and jerks, the internet just gives them an oppurtunity to have their *********ness shine. Try not to let it bother you. Remember that you should only care about someone's opinion of you if you actually care about them. If somenoe is being a jerk, **** em. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 I've learned to just let the comments pass. I let people be entilted to there own opinon. But, after awhile these comments do build up. I don't go out of my way to harm people or to put them down, so why am I a target of abuse? I've also been called buck teeth, beaver teeth, and compared to numerous unappealing things. I know it's expected with my age range (20's) but when will this nonsence end? You're a pretty girl and you flaunt it. Which is not a bad thing at all, just many people who don't have the looks you do or can't get a girl such as yourself find it in bad taste and will attack you for it. Human nature really. I'm sure you probably notice this kind of behavior in real life when you go out all dressed up, though much less pronounced. Just take pity on those who couldn't make a thread about paint drying and have it go multiple pages. Even if they call you names. Link to post Share on other sites
coffeeaddict Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 You look great based on your avatar, above average. People say nasty things to get a rise out of others. Maybe because it makes them feel more powerful, or maybe it's jealousy in some cases (same thing). I'd recommend a book called "The Four Agreements," and in particular this passage: 2. Don’t Take Anything Personally Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering. Link to post Share on other sites
Ross MwcFan Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 You look great based on your avatar, above average. People say nasty things to get a rise out of others. Maybe because it makes them feel more powerful, or maybe it's jealousy in some cases (same thing). I'd recommend a book called "The Four Agreements," and in particular this passage: 2. Don’t Take Anything Personally Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering. How do you become immune? Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 (edited) How do you become immune? It's easier once you realize what people are really up to. Girls attacking Rinnix would take her looks in a heartbeat, the guys would hop into her bed if allowed so fast they would get sheet burns. They don't really think all the nasty things they say, they are just trying their best to find something that might hurt her. By putting her picture out there everywhere she is offending them, and they want it gone. The insults really are compliments in a way. They are just infirming how beautiful she really is. They wouldn't be paying attention if she wasn't. It's how you have to look at things. Edited May 3, 2011 by gaius Link to post Share on other sites
Datura Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Thanks guys. It's not just the net(not anyone on LS either) it's people who I know in person too. They just happen to find my blogs and it's rather ridiculous. Perhaps they don't like what you have to say, and are hurling insults based on that. How do you become immune? By cultivating a strong sense of self which includes valuing your opinion above anyone else's; not looking for validation. This shouldn't be confused with arrogance. Link to post Share on other sites
Djshmh Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Humpf, smh. It sounds like you have a lot to carry my friend. Those comments don't mean anything and can easily be deleted, so use that delete button asap! As for you looking like you belong in a zoo? I don't know what pictures they are looking at but they might need glasses because I see a very beautiful young lady before my very eyes. As for your family...Well, I can relate but I think my family might be in the negative power of dysfunctional! As for your boyfriend...Well, sh*t happens and sometimes it's better to go with the mainstream of things then to fight it. If his family are intolerable creatures, then just imagine how much life is going to suck for you to actually stay apart of that negativity. Some people just never learn**... And as for feeling like the whole world has turned their back on you or is against you. I think we all go through this and in those times, it's best to just shut the bedroom door, turn off the lights and go back to sleep until you wake up on the other side of happiness! Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I don't have low self esteem, and I don't go around making drama, which is why Im so puzzled as to why I'm always a target. It's quite simply actually. They see a girl with confidence- it reminds them that they don't- so they seek to make themselves feel better by picking on you. Ever known a bully that liked themself? Sometimes the only way people that are miserable know how to elevate themself is through demeaning others. I used to work with a woman that was so angry and miserable. The only pleasure she seemed to take in life was making others feel bad. She would often pick on the happy go lucky pretty girls that worked beneath her- and I often had to intervene. There will always be people out there that seek to make others feel just as bad as they do. You can take pleasure in knowing that they are miserable themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rinnix Posted May 4, 2011 Author Share Posted May 4, 2011 I mean't to respond here sooner but my computer was taken as hostage by my boyfriend ever since playstation has went down. Thank you all so much for your kind posts, they make me feel much better. I'm glad that I am not alone with this and that others can understand my situation so well. I'm happy to be surrounded by caring people on this forum. It just makes me upset to see how cruel people can be, but I just need to accept that and move on. I will start using the ignore button much more often! This entire situation just gives me more reason to want to be more sweet and kind to people, and I will use it to my benefit. Nobody is worth putting a frown on my face. Ps. D-Lish, you are very pretty. Link to post Share on other sites
SxB Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 "This entire situation just gives me more reason to want to be more sweet and kind to people, and I will use it to my benefit" Good idea, just be yourself and do what works for you, and never let no one walk on your shoes (if it takes place in person). What others think and say of you means nothing, what you think and say about yourself means everything. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 (edited) It's easier once you realize what people are really up to. Girls attacking Rinnix would take her looks in a heartbeat, the guys would hop into her bed if allowed so fast they would get sheet burns. They don't really think all the nasty things they say, they are just trying their best to find something that might hurt her. By putting her picture out there everywhere she is offending them, and they want it gone. The insults really are compliments in a way. They are just infirming how beautiful she really is. They wouldn't be paying attention if she wasn't. It's how you have to look at things. Exactly! This post is right on the money. Rinnix, stay sweet girl. You're not doing anything wrong. The less secure are going to automatically assume you're trying to "show off." But I bet to know you is to love you Be confident in that! Best to you Edited May 4, 2011 by cerridwen Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Rinnix, I'm 4'10", a little dumpy, I have teeth I could probably eat pasta through a tennis raquet with, and I limp. (I'm the one on the left. The gorgeous blonde on the right is my ex- SiL. She's amazing!) I suffer from chronic tinnitus, am going deaf in my left ear, and do myself no favours by slouching too much. Some daft, wonderful guy is marrying me this month. Trust me - if someone who looks like me can find happiness, you will too. Link to post Share on other sites
snug.bunny Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I don't think there is a single person on this planet, who has not felt as you have, at one point or another. It can be comments about a person's looks, personality, intelligence, skin color, religion, the list is infinite. Not to worry, you're fine. We're all fine. We're all from the same place, hopefully we're all going to the same place beyond this earth we live on. Amen sista! Link to post Share on other sites
SleeplessRomantic Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Rinnix, forget what they have to say. The detractors are obviously jealous of your gorgeous looks and phenomenal writing. If they simply disagree with what you say in your blogs, they should learn how to articulate their retorts in ways that do not deal with ad hominem attacks. Quite frankly, you are absolutely beautiful. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rinnix Posted May 4, 2011 Author Share Posted May 4, 2011 Rinnix, I'm 4'10", a little dumpy, I have teeth I could probably eat pasta through a tennis raquet with, and I limp. (I'm the one on the left. The gorgeous blonde on the right is my ex- SiL. She's amazing!) I suffer from chronic tinnitus, am going deaf in my left ear, and do myself no favours by slouching too much. Some daft, wonderful guy is marrying me this month. Trust me - if someone who looks like me can find happiness, you will too. Tara I think you look great! Congrats on the upcoming wedding Thanks again everyone, it puts a smile on my face to be around such supportive members. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Thanks R, as are you! As sad as it is, being attractive, articulate and happy makes you a target of miserable people! Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 This was found written on the wall in Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta: People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway. If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway. What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be serene and happy anyway. The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway. Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway. In the final analysis, it is between you and your Conscience. It was never between you and them anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
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