kporter Posted April 9, 2004 Share Posted April 9, 2004 I moved to Illinois about 4 years ago, I have made a lot of friends with my fiance. But, I have been having issues making friends with Females. I have a lot of male friends and since we got engaged, he has stressed that it makes him uncomfortable that I do stuff with guys alot. But, the thing is where do you meet people just for a friendship nothing more? We don't go to bars often, I work downtown and all the girls I work with.. I just haven't been able connect. I had one very closed girlfriend (best friend) that just moved from IL out of state and it just seems as if, when my fiance goes off and hangs out with the guys, I get pissed.. But, it isn't because I don't want him to.. just that I am not going out as well... with my friends.. Link to post Share on other sites
Pookette Posted April 9, 2004 Share Posted April 9, 2004 Most of my friends are guys, and I wouldn't trade them for anything. My husband used to have a problem with it until he saw how we interact with each other. Have you considered having your friends hang out with your fiance so he can get to know them? Link to post Share on other sites
Author kporter Posted April 9, 2004 Author Share Posted April 9, 2004 Actually there have been a few opportunities. I suppose I haven't tried hard enough. The last time was a football party I was going to have and he needed to be out of state for work, so it ended up a loss. I try to tell him they are all married and only want to be friends. I will talk with him tonight and see if maybe a party at our place with them or find some other way for them to meet. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted April 9, 2004 Share Posted April 9, 2004 Invite him along so he can see they are genuine friendships and make it clear he is always welcome. If he can't handle it then you have to make a choice, will you be happy with a guy so insecure that he can't handle you having social contact with men? Many marriages where there is little social contact outside the marriage work as long as both are happy with it - it doesn't sound like you are. I'd find another man, one that wasn't scared to let me experience life. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted April 9, 2004 Share Posted April 9, 2004 I HONESTLY do not like it when a girl has all guy friends. It's not a matter of trusting her. It's a matter of trusting them. I know how guys work. Nine times out of ten, it will not be a PURELY platonic relationship on both sides. Given the opportunity, the guy friend would take her away from you in a second if he knew he had a chance. Oh, how many times have I heard, "No, he's just a friend, I don't like him like that and he doesn't like me," and it turned out to be so ridiculously wrong? See When Harry Met Sally for more on this. Guys generally can't be JUST FRIENDS with women. I mean, we can if we have to, but we'll pretty much want to bang them. Most of the time. Of course there are exceptions to the rules. Guys with girlfriends generally aren't worry worthy, but I CANNOT STAND IT when a girl has an ex as a buddy, because there are almost always unrequited issues and love still there. Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted April 9, 2004 Share Posted April 9, 2004 It's not a matter of trusting her. It's a matter of trusting them. It takes Two to Tango. We have free will. If you trust her, you have nothing to worry about. You don't need to trust them. Link to post Share on other sites
Dug Posted April 10, 2004 Share Posted April 10, 2004 kporter.........Meanon is right in what she says, but trust me.....sooner or later you will likely find yourself in a situation where one of these male friends will want to sleep with you. The same would be true if all your guy's friends were women. Right now, you are the one who has no reason to feel insecure. I've been where you are, and believe me ...it can go bad in a big hurry, so be careful and keep talking to the man you want to keep. Link to post Share on other sites
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