is it a hint or do I address it directly? Assumption?

[calendula74]

Okay a friend of mine has not been answering my calls. I see her at work and exchange IMs on FB with her, but she no longer takes my calls.

 

I have called her about three times over this last 2 months or so, wanting to see if she wanted to join me on some activity. She does not even mention my call when I see her. I have to ask if she got my message. Every time she said something was wrong with her phone or could not find it. And quickly starts talking about something else like her migranes, before I get the chance to discuss it further. But in person she seems okay about other things.

 

I like her and don't get to see her as much as I used to because she went back to school.

 

I am kind of a fan of getting things out in the open. Thinking about asking her if phone is not a good way to get a hold of her. I don't want to seem to clingy or wanting her friendship too much. I do miss her, but if she is giving me the hint that she does not want to hang out and I am not getting it?

 

Feeling a little confused.

Edited May 3, 2011 by calendula74

[NoMagicBullet]

Hard to say...

 

Calling her three times in 2 months is not that much, and there could be something wrong with her phone. I assume this is a cell phone? It could even be something as simple as having limited minutes to take calls and check voice mail.

 

Or maybe she doesn't like talking on the phone -- or did you two used to talk a lot on the phone? You say she no longer takes your calls; did she in the past?

 

When did you call? She may not be able to take the call at those times.

 

Or maybe having gone back to school, she's got a lot of other things occupying her. Or some kind of changes in her life related to that. Maybe the talk of migraines isn't just an excuse and things are really stressful and demanding for her right now.

 

Or maybe she is trying to put some distance bewteen the two of you. Have you asked her in person to hang out or join you on some activity? If so, what were her responses?

 

Not enough info to tell. If she's trying to brush you off, then she'd give you reasons not to hang out if you ask her face-to-face. If that happens, then I suggest saying, "Well, if you ever want to go do something, give me a call," and let her call you if she wants. But talk to her in person, don't leave it to voice mail.