says she doesn't know what she wants!

[robkris8079]

thanks! for some reason I couldn't go on the way it was. Funniest thing about this is I was trying to text my brother that exact same thing and I sent it to my now ex by accident. I was planning on talking to her that night anyway but the accidental slip there made it so it was happening no matter what.

 

Exact text read. "it's over. She is either gonna stay until she finds something else or we will just totally hate each other".

 

she had responded with "yes we do, i'm not happy at all".

 

I was getting out no matter what. Honestly think she would have just kept going on this way for awhile. Day before she went and bought $200 worth of groceries for the house. Though most was for this new diet she is on and she took most with her when she left. Why would she want to keep living this way. I know I couldn't.

 

My mother questioned if I had jumped the gun. But I dont' think so. This is second time this happened. I am being me. Always treated her with love, care and respect. Gave her her space and girl time and did my guy time. I honestly believe there was nothing else I could do.

 

Basically she saying she is on and off with me and isn't happy at all was more then enough to not continue the relationship.

Edited March 12, 2012 by robkris8079

[robkris8079]

i guess I'll use this thread as sort of a blog to kind of get me through this rough time.

 

I'm still hurting but yet to cry. It has been one week of no contact. I couldn't stop myself from FB snooping and of course seeing her out there hurt. I had to unfriend her. It was the only way. I also spent the morning untagging and deleting photo's.

 

I went out with some buddies last night but didn't really seem to help. I'm trying to move on but after 5 years I'm finding this difficult. I really need to meet some new people, not girlfriends, just people. Make new friends but I find this kinda difficult right now. I'm not all that approachable as my sadness shows. I guess I just have to wait it out, continue to go to the gym and try and make plans.

 

When I get really bad I just think about her texting another guy and deleting them, not wanting to spend time with me and my daughter, and saying she is going to smoke weed now because she isn't allowed to drink on her new diet. Though I seen pics of her drinking online .

 

Then when I feel ok I think of the stuff she wrote me on Vday, the amazing sexlife we had the week before that, and all the times she would be at the house decorating, fixing things up or buying something as if she was ready to be there forever.

 

Still a mess one week later but I know it gets better.

 

just got a text that said "thank you for sending my mail!! hope you are doing good!!

 

I know maybe sending the mail was a breadcrumb to her but she just started a job and there was alot of important stuff in the mail. I didn't write anything or send it myself. I just had my job ship it. Man I didn't want her to text me .

Edited March 13, 2012 by robkris8079

[robkris8079]

well on the high of a good day yesterday I have come crashing down like it's day one all over again. Well maybe day two since day one I couldn't even comprehend what was going on. Maybe the breadcrumb and me not responding brought me up but, what goes up must come down.

 

I went to bed so early last night. Didn't sleep all that well but probably got more hours in then I have been. Yet I feel so tired and weak this morning.

[Chi townD]

Welcome to the roller coaster of emotions! You're going to be happy one minute, then sad the next. You're gonna be laughing one minute and crying the next. You're gonna be angry one minute and indifferent the next.

 

This is completely normal. It's gonna happen. Sooner or later, your life will level out and become normal again. You just have to ride this ride for a while.

[robkris8079]

Welcome to the roller coaster of emotions! You're going to be happy one minute, then sad the next. You're gonna be laughing one minute and crying the next. You're gonna be angry one minute and indifferent the next.

 

This is completely normal. It's gonna happen. Sooner or later, your life will level out and become normal again. You just have to ride this ride for a while.

 

Oh I know this all too well. I been here since 06. Started with a cheating wife. I think I stuck that relationship out longer due to having a kid and not having any self worth. This relationship is much harder on me though as I truly gave my heart to my now ex.

 

I have not yet cried, maybe due to her age I seen this happening one day. Even joked about it with my brother. Plus fact she wanted a break as you read in beginning of this thread.

 

She just sent me a text of herself. Just laying in bed sticking her tongue out? Not looking all that good to be honest . She knows I can't be friends with her nor be in contact with her, at least anytime soon. As she knows how much she meant to me and how I felt about her. She will get no Ego boost, ball in her court, or anything from me. I'm too busy trying to boost my own ego and I'm not even playing on the same court as her.

 

BTW I erased it immediately and her name isn't in my phone so just her number comes up. This actually helps.

Edited March 14, 2012 by robkris8079

[robkris8079]

well her brother texted me last night. It said "hope all is well and you're holding up alright"

 

I replied with "all is good!! if your ever in the area don't be a stranger"

 

He replied "same to you"

 

That was the extent of it.

 

On a different note I slept better last night then I have in over a week. Which you would think would make a person feel better but I woke up with a little guilt over it. Have no clue why.

 

Also since I got two breadcrumbs two days in a row I have a feeling I'm going to hit a low today because I'm pretty positive I won't be getting one today. Breadcrumbs good or bad for me I don't know but some sort of contact with her still gives me a warm loving feeling. Well after I just typed that I can see they are bad LOL. Since it just prolongs my healing.

[CaliBabe]

Hey Rob,

 

You are going to feel this way for some time, just feel the pain and heal. You will be so much stronger and have much improvement in a few months. For me it took the 3 month mark to feel better and take myself out of my funk. And this is after a 7 year relationship.

 

You said you wanted to meet new people and I think you totally should. Make a list of things you want to do and places you want to go to and slowly cross them off your list. You will meet new people at these places and that is always positive.

 

With regards to the breadcrumbs, you have to weed your way off the expecations of them. They set you back emotionally whether the breadcrumb is big or small. Cut off all contact and try to move on for your own sake. You deserve to be happy.

[robkris8079]

I'm feeling, I'm healing, writing things down, making plans all that good stuff.

 

I know this is going to be a long road because I opened up so much to her. More then anyone ever before in my life.

 

Hopefully I can make some new friends this weekend. I'm going to try like all hell.

 

As far as breaking off all contact I've done all I can really. I don't contact her in anyway. I'm not FB friends, and her status and everything have been blocked from showing up on my page. Guess the only other thing I can do is block her number from my phone but not even sure how to do that.

 

Your right I do deserve to be happy.

[robkris8079]

well got about 10 hours of sleep last night!

 

My kid is hurting over this and hope it gets better quick for her. Every day she mentions my ex in some way. She constantly goes through drawers and stuff looking for any hint of my ex. I always think I've removed everything but she will find something. Like last night she found travel tooth brushes. This reminded her of our "family" vacation we took last summer. She even remembered which brush was who's.

 

I drew a flower for my ex. I went to college for graphic design and my ex knew I could draw. She asked me to draw her something a ways back and one night I did it to surprise her. I drew her a flower. I left it on our bed for when she got home after working the night shift. I also wrote Love you will all my heart on it. This was all awhile ago when my ex was acting like she was still all in this relationship. Well my kid wanted me to draw a flower for her too so I did that last night. Sure enough she wrote the same exact words in the same place on the paper. I asked her why she wrote that and she looked at me, paused and just said I don't know. But I know.My kid also misses her mother alot now which was never the case before. We had the family dynamic going in the house and I think my ex girlfriend filled the role. I know my ex filled it. One thing I will always say is how well my ex took care of my kid. As if her own.

 

I would take on 10x more hurt and sadness so my daughter doesn't have to feel an ounce of it. People say to me that's why I don't introduce people to my kid. Well I wouldn't have either. I took this as slow as can be. It was months before those two met, year before we all hung out, 4 years before she moved in so I think I was about as cautious as can be. No one can predict the future.

 

So enough of the sad BS. It's Friday! No big plans . But I am going out with my bro tonight. Totally new place in a total different part of the state that I don't normally visit. This is after I hit the gym.

 

Speaking of gym I have lost about 5lbs and definitely built up some muscle. I'm feeling physically top notch but still not where I want to be for summer. I think I look fantastic. Which is a plus because years ago I was 270lbs, wore glasses, dressed funny, and had weird thin hair. This was all before I me my current ex.

 

Now I am 170lbs, some muscles, dress fairly well but do need new clothes, had lasik surgery and a shaved head. Which actually suits the shape of my dome . I like it. This actually helps the healing because I know finding someone else is not really a problem. I don't have that feeling like i'll never find someone. Just gotta shake that feeling that I've lost the right one because if it ended this way where neither one of us were happy then obviously we were not right.

[robkris8079]

Haven't been on much. Just living life, healing, moving on all that good stuff.

 

Was an awesome weekend. Friday night went out with couple people. Few bars just hung out. Saturday night met up with some family that haven't seen in awhile. That was a blast. Then bunch of family and some new people went out to couple places. Had drinks and what not. I was asked about my relationship by the fam. They all knew her and loved her. All thought we would be getting married and stuff. I just said it didn't work out. We weren't happy and headed in different directions. Then just left it alone.

 

So while I didn't make any real good connections I did talk to a few people I didn't know and it was awesome. Just gonna keep on doing this. Getting better every day!

 

One odd thing I found out is that the ex texted my brother couple days ago. I guess they chatted for bout half hour. She apparently told him she was "miserable". I could see she was the few weeks before she left. Not wanting to be around me and stuff. Seemed so out of the blue though but I'm sure was on her mind even before that. I'll never totally understand and I just need to be ok with that.

 

My brother told me this information in hopes to help me move on quicker. Not sure anything helps except time. It takes as long as it takes no matter what.

 

Another note is my kid. Still everyday mentions my ex in some way. Or finds something of hers. She is hurting and needs time too. Everynight when sleeps at home with me she gets sad right before bed. Then cries herself to sleep. Most times she cries to go back to her mothers house but I know this is really about the ex.

 

I do not show any pain or sadness in front of her. Actually we have been having a great time together since the ex left. It's just the night time. Every night before bed she would say goodnight to the ex whether she was there or not. And when she wasn't there every night ask if she is coming home. She doesn't ask anymore but I know it's on her mind.

 

BTW on a better note hit gym all through out the weekend. Looking great and feeling great! physically at least. The rest is coming along too. BTW it's day 14 of BU and NC incase anyone was wondering. Not very long at all.

[robkris8079]

well had a pretty great day all day yesterday. So good that I figured I'd try and quit smoking. Well that didn't work out. I didn't talk bout my ex to anyone really at all or anything but later last night I started getting the rollercoaster of mad, sad, confused, etc. Well I went to bed and slept a few hours then woke up at like 3am and was pretty much awake rest of night.

 

This morning it sorta felt like the beginning all over and not 2 weeks into this. Today will be a better day though.

 

I gotta keep telling myself that I had to end it. Though I said the words she had in reality ended it a few week earlier just didn't have the balls to say anything or even try an figure out the issue and talk about it. I can remember clearly me asking her questions. Like "is everything alright", "any reason your not texting me as much". Stuff like that and basically I got "were good", "no reason I'm not texting as much, just busy".

 

I said the words but her actions screamed "WE'RE DONE". There is nothing I did to make her leave, there was nothing I could have done to make her stay and there is nothing I could do to make her come back. In reality I don't want her to come back. I want the good times we had, the love and caring we shared, but I want it with someone that doesn't flip flop about it. I find it so funny she was all in in the beginning of the relationship yet I really wasn't. Now 5 years later I fell in love and am all in and she wasn't. Just makes me laugh, total wrong timing. Well I fell in love years ago not right at the end here. Maybe that is the times we had that were so good, when I finally fell in and she was still in.

 

Rose colored glasses off- she texted another guy and deleted them, didn't ever want to spend time with me, said she couldn't stand me when we were out drinking, moved in with my daughter and I on her own doing and progressed the relationship with talks of future, then decides it's just not what SHE wants. Treated me as an after though. I was good enough to encourage, love and support through school and tough times but once that was done tossed aside for "just wanting to have fun" I guess.

 

Again just posting thoughts here. If anyone wants to respond feel free.

[robkris8079]

yesterday went to work, talked to people then gym and made dinner plans with my buddy. Pretty damn good day until . . .

 

My stupid friend decides to tell me something she posted on FB. Which was just that she is looking for a new car but damn that really rattled me.

 

See the car we drove several states to get. Actually had to go twice. It was a nice adventure looking for it, finding it and bringing it home. I did all the work on it, kept it running and everything. Then one night while she was coming home by herself late from the bar, of course. She fell asleep at the wheel and crashed into the woods. Well I footed the huge tow bill and since she hadn't had a fulltime job couldn't afford a new car. I did all the repairs and got it back on the road.

 

I don't know why what he told me bothered me but after typing that I can see why. It brought back so many memories of her and what not. I just told my buddy that I don't want to know anything that she is doing. It's not my concern anymore. I pray he takes what I said seriously.

 

I already feel little better about it now. Today will be another good day

[robkris8079]

yesterday I hit the mall for some much needed socks and underwear. I almost never bought that stuff myself and was kind of an ongoing joke my ex and I had. Well felt pretty good needing them and going out and getting them myself. I know I should have just been buying stuff for me through whole relationship and I did a little bit. But I have a kid and basically all my extra money went to her and what little left over was on the house or going out with the now ex. I won't make that mistake ever again. If I need something I will buy it myself. If I want something I will go and get it.

 

Then went to my bro's house for a latte. We like our latte's! Didn't talk all that much of the ex. But what was said was just cold hard facts. Stuff that if he said 2 weeks ago would have broke me or I would have denied it all.

 

After that went to hang out with some friends down at a car shop. I'm big into cars. Hung out there met some new people and before you know it I'm out with my buddy at a restaurant/bar singing karaoke. Which I always have loved to do.

 

my friends asked about my ex. I didn't announce to the world we split so they had no idea. I just said were not together anymore and it didn't work out. They thought I was lying and couldn't believe it. But they were cool bout it and left it alone.

 

shopping, friends, karaoke, couple beers and some tough love from my brother. All in all was a pretty damn good day yesterday.

 

btw does anyone even read my thread anymore? Doesn't matter it helps me to type here. Was just curious.

[Chi townD]

LOL! we've been reading (well, at least I have). It's good that you're getting out and doing things. Keep on working for yourself! It's weird that you can get a sense of independence from just going out and buy socks ad underwear for yourself isn't it? So, set yourself up with a future plan. A goal.

 

If you're finding out that you can manage a little bit of money rather than spending it on your Ex. Save it and go take your kid somewhere. Surprise her. Take her to Disney World! Why not, what the hell.....

[robkris8079]

LOL! we've been reading (well, at least I have). It's good that you're getting out and doing things. Keep on working for yourself! It's weird that you can get a sense of independence from just going out and buy socks ad underwear for yourself isn't it? So, set yourself up with a future plan. A goal.

 

If you're finding out that you can manage a little bit of money rather than spending it on your Ex. Save it and go take your kid somewhere. Surprise her. Take her to Disney World! Why not, what the hell.....

 

Thanks for reading. Yeah def felt independent yesterday. I have plans and goals. Nothing too extravagant but they are something.

 

Money is still an issue. I don't really have any extra to do too much. But I always find enough to do something fun with my kid.

 

Taking this one day at a time. Missing her a little less, loving a little less, caring a little less every single day.

[Chi townD]

Thanks for reading. Yeah def felt independent yesterday. I have plans and goals. Nothing too extravagant but they are something.

 

Money is still an issue. I don't really have any extra to do too much. But I always find enough to do something fun with my kid.

 

Taking this one day at a time. Missing her a little less, loving a little less, caring a little less every single day.

 

 

Oh I hear ya! Money is always an issue. Hell, for me it usually takes me a year to save for a trip. I'm just saying, since your Ex is out of the picture, work on becoming a good man and a great father. Because no matter what, your kid will always be your kid. Do things to make you happy. Be Super Dad! And when the time is right, a woman is gonna see how great you are with your kid and WOMEN LOVE IT when men are great with kids. (not saying that you aren't already)

 

Don't get me wrong, I think you're doing a great job and you are well on your way to healing up nicely. Nows, the time to be a little selfish and start living your life for you.

[robkris8079]

Oh I hear ya! Money is always an issue. Hell, for me it usually takes me a year to save for a trip. I'm just saying, since your Ex is out of the picture, work on becoming a good man and a great father. Because no matter what, your kid will always be your kid. Do things to make you happy. Be Super Dad! And when the time is right, a woman is gonna see how great you are with your kid and WOMEN LOVE IT when men are great with kids. (not saying that you aren't already)

 

Don't get me wrong, I think you're doing a great job and you are well on your way to healing up nicely. Nows, the time to be a little selfish and start living your life for you.

 

I always have been great to my kid! I do know women love this but it's not the reason for doing it. I just love my kid so much. Even my ex liked this about me and told me often how great of a dad I am. Her dad left her when she was 6 and disappeared off the face of the earth. No one not even his side of the family knows what happened to him. The ex a few times a year would search for him. Also I got the text from my ex's mother saying I was a great person and father. So whatever I'm doing with my child is good. Others notice and comment often. You don't see the mom leaving and the dad stepping up often. I can't lie it's been really hard but I would do over and over again without thinking twice.

 

I also think I am a good man. I always say I want someone who treats me they way I treat them. Not to toot my own horn, well maybe a little, I loved, cared, listened, respected, and accepted my ex. This is all I wanted in return. I do all those for myself as well so I don't NEED these things from someone else though I do want them. But not anytime soon.

 

Funny I mention the word need there. My ex use to always want me to say I needed her. Mostly financial reasons came up but were others. I would always tell her no I don't need you, I want you in my life. To me wanting to share a life is much healthier and more gratifying then needing. I could be wrong but just how I feel. I think maybe her emphasis on me needing her was a way for her to stick out the relationship longer then she really wanted to.

 

or maybe she just got the hots for someone else and wanted to see what her life would be like. Either way it's not my concern.

[Chi townD]

Funny I mention the word need there. My ex use to always want me to say I needed her. Mostly financial reasons came up but were others. I would always tell her no I don't need you, I want you in my life. To me wanting to share a life is much healthier and more gratifying then needing. I could be wrong but just how I feel. I think maybe her emphasis on me needing her was a way for her to stick out the relationship longer then she really wanted to.

 

or maybe she just got the hots for someone else and wanted to see what her life would be like. Either way it's not my concern.

 

BINGO!!! Love it! When I finally met my wife, she was already an established professional. So, she didn't NEED to be with me, but rather WANTED to be with me. That's a big difference and it's awesome that you recongize that! Dude, you're doing fine. There's a girl out there that wants you....you just need to find her.

[CaliBabe]

yesterday I hit the mall for some much needed socks and underwear. I almost never bought that stuff myself and was kind of an ongoing joke my ex and I had. Well felt pretty good needing them and going out and getting them myself. I know I should have just been buying stuff for me through whole relationship and I did a little bit. But I have a kid and basically all my extra money went to her and what little left over was on the house or going out with the now ex. I won't make that mistake ever again. If I need something I will buy it myself. If I want something I will go and get it.

 

Then went to my bro's house for a latte. We like our latte's! Didn't talk all that much of the ex. But what was said was just cold hard facts. Stuff that if he said 2 weeks ago would have broke me or I would have denied it all.

 

After that went to hang out with some friends down at a car shop. I'm big into cars. Hung out there met some new people and before you know it I'm out with my buddy at a restaurant/bar singing karaoke. Which I always have loved to do.

 

my friends asked about my ex. I didn't announce to the world we split so they had no idea. I just said were not together anymore and it didn't work out. They thought I was lying and couldn't believe it. But they were cool bout it and left it alone.

 

shopping, friends, karaoke, couple beers and some tough love from my brother. All in all was a pretty damn good day yesterday.

 

btw does anyone even read my thread anymore? Doesn't matter it helps me to type here. Was just curious.

 

Yes we're still reading! I am so glad you are finally doing some healing. I also was dependent on my ex for things and now that he is gone I find it liberating and a sense of independence when I do those things. Like you, I should have been doing them all along. I am really happy to see your living life. Even the simple things... It will only get better from here.

[robkris8079]

I don't know if I really was dependent on anything of her. I mean she helped financially but after seeing couples married or long term fight about money, even myself in a previous relationship I vowed to myself to never be that way again. Especially because I know not everything lasts forever. I don't ever want to screw myself in this way. Sure she helped but it was just always her doing. Her offering to take over bills and give a little to my mortgage. She always said "I'm living here I have to pay for something". I always told her the same thing. "You don't have to, pay for what you want and give what you want. It's always appreciated".

 

Basically any funds she gave allowed me to spend on my daughter or myself for going out and having a good time. With and without the ex.

 

Now I'm really trying to think of what I depended on her for? I mean like stated above I appreciated everything she did. I also made sure she knew it either through words or actions. She did stuff for my kid. Like trips, picking her up from school, watching her on her days off when I had to work. But I always had other ways of dealing with those things.

 

I guess I depended on her being there to love and support me if I needed it for any reason. But there wasn't many if any reasons and well since I'm on loveshack I guess she wasn't there for love and support either.

 

This all goes back to the wanting her in my life. Wanting to spend time with her, wanting to go through life with her. Wanting a future with her. There was no need.

[robertmathis1026]

Leave her alone after giving her some space, give her attention

 

Are you SUFFERING THE PAIN, because your ex DUMP you? Can You imagine, if you can make your ex BEGGING TO BACK WITH YOU? click here to make it HAPPEN!!

[robkris8079]

well rest of yesterday I must say was pretty good. Got out of work and was 75 and sunny. So I decided instead of going to the gym I went for a run. That brought up little memories of the ex since we ran during the spring and summer times together. The run was 3 miles and boy did it kick my but. Then just did some abs and pushups when I got home.

 

I decided yesterday that I would like to do nothing. This has been hard as I been trying to keep busy. But I know if I'm going to truly be ok with this I need to be OK when there just isn't anything to do and all by myself. So after working out I ran to the store, grabbed some cereal so my daughter could have breakfast when her mom dropped her off in the morning and rented a movie.

 

Basically I did nothing but watch tv all night after the workout . It was nice, I actually enjoyed it.

 

But for some reason this morning hit me hard. Things like "she's really gone" and "she doesn't love me, did she ever?" popped in my head. Really odd because I thought I already realized she was gone. So kinda bummed me out a little this morning. I promised myself not to dwell on this but more then a few minutes.

 

On a bright note, I need to pass the main road that leads up to her mom's house where she now lives I think (i have no clue). This would also be the road she would drive home after working. There is also a coffee shop where we had our first date and even our first break. Now every morning when I cross over the road I'd have thoughts and glance to see If she was driving down it. This morning I realized I didn't do that after passing it for a mile. Maybe something just had my attention on the radio, I don't know. But it felt like a little victory in my head.

[robkris8079]

well another weekend come and gone.

 

For some reason I was a little hurt over the weekend. Spent some quality time with my kid. Had my nephew sleep over and we all worked on the yard. Also visited my sister and her family for a bit.

 

I got some tough love from my bro which always helps . Some reason during the weekend I felt really hurt but this morning I look back and didn't seem all that bad.

 

One little setback was a pic of her I seen out at the bar. No I didn't snoop or spy it was her girlfriends update and I am also a friend so it showed up for me. Hard to avoid any pics or comments of hers since we had like 75 mutual friends. Alot of it family. She even put my aunts as her aunts, my brother as her brother and such. Kinda shows sign of commitment but then again FB doesn't mean ****. She must have done that when she was "on" with the relationship. Back to the pic. I looked at it for a second then moved on. Wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Sure it's not the pic of her and a new guy yet but when that time comes I will be ready for it.

 

So got some plans for the house and stuff. Talking to my bro about house stuff really gets everything off my mind.

 

I made it through yesterday, today is a new day and it's going to be a damn good one!

[robkris8079]

well in trying to have a good day first her mom messages me asking if I know where the title to her car is. I am working and figured I'd respond in a little bit. But then my bro messages me saying my ex contacted him to ask me about the title.

 

Why didn't she just message me? Prob better she didn't as most likely she knows I don't want any contact with her. Is there some meaning in this? Nope probably not but does get my gerbil running on the wheel. OMFG too much indirect contact with the ex today.

 

I did respond to her mom. Just said I don't know where it is and I do know it's not at my house. Which is true because right after the split I went through my entire house packing up any and everything about her. I found bunch of stuff but the title to her car was not one of them.

 

I'm not vindictive so if I had the title I would without a doubt mail it to her. Now I'm hoping they don't think I know where it is or have it and just being an ass. Then again what they think should not be any concern of mine.

 

I'm not gonna let it get me down. I'm not gonna let it get me down. I'm not gonna let it get me down!!!

[robkris8079]

well I broke nc for first time in 21 days and since breakup.

 

After many attempts to get the info through her mom or contacting my bro she finally texted me.

 

her "hey!! How r u?? I'm having an issue where I can't find the title to my car!! I have a feeling it mite be in the top drawer dresser!!

 

Me "I'm fantabulous !! I didn't see it in there but Ill double check and send if it is."

 

reason I said that word is because everyday for past 5 years pre breakup she would text me how r u? I would respond with some sort of funny made up word like that. Not sure if right thing to do or not but I did it and I'm ok with that.

 

her "I have to pick up my new car today and idk if they will take it without the title!! I'm glad ur doing well"

 

her "it doesn't matter actually called dealership I just fill out lost title form!!

 

her "sorry to bother u"

 

I never responded after that.

 

So am I back at day 1? I don't feel like day 1?

 

any insight for me people?