HIS brother...my ENEMY

[heartbroken2424]

My fiance and father of my youngest son has had a very hard life. Lost his one brother in a car accedent and lost his mom in a drinking accedent. So he only has 2 brothers left. One brother stays out of our personal life and we get along fine. His other brother lives 5 houses down from us. We have had our share of fights, like every relationship does. When we fight he will run to his brothers house and vent...everyone needs someone to vent to, I never thought anything of it. I thought that like any brother he would listen and be there and let it go. We have heard a lot of stuff about his wife and their problems and know that he is just there to vent and he loves her so we love her also. The problem is his brother is mean...he hates woman and will degrate women and I once told him I dont want to hang with him because I dont agree with how he puts his own friends and families girlfriend, wives or fiances down. Since then he has been telling my fiance to leave he can find better..he can be happier. My fiance looks up to his brother because he has no one else to look up to. So our last fight he told me to leave. I wrote him an email and this is what it said..... All I wanted is for you to stop with the hurtful things you say AND realize that your brother is asking you to give up 1 child that you live with everyday that is also blood, so that you end up only seeing him on weekends and pay child support. Give up 2 children that love you like their own father, never seeing them again except when getting Z. Giving up on LOVE that IS there just barried under lots of hurt! Just so that you can be "happy"...Not sure I would call that "happy". I guess all I can hope for, for you is...that someday you realize you are a great person who can make it on their own and has his OWN mind and does not have to live for anyone else but his children and wife... OK I NEED SOME OUTSIDE HELP HERE... Should I just walk away from this situation? Can anyone help me with this? I am not a teenager (34) I have been married once, work hard, great mother and just very confussed!

[dongkong]

Problematic family, i know all about that. Its a really tough situation your in. I guess what you can do is have a sit down talk with your guy. Dont go unprepared into it, actually write down the things that make ya tick. Maybe help him to see that his brother is not helping him, but is actually using his own hate of women to drive him away from his girl (you). If your guy truly loves you and values your relationship he will see his mistake.