purplepanda Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 The other day my bf told me something that really bothered me... we broke up for an entire year before we got back together, and about 30 days he lost his virginity to a complete slut, who had chlamydia when she was 14 (she was 15 when they...yeah). Awhile back I put his name and a smiley face on May the 28th on my phone calendar (for this year) then asked him what was on that day. He said, 'That was the day I lost my virginity". I really didn't want to know that, especially since she started telling him lies saying I was calling her telling her crap when I've never spoken to the chick in my life! O.o They were only together three weeks, and his friends have even said to me, He hasn't been the same since her (not as in love, more as in HAD SEX then changed). I still to this day have not spoken to her, they are not friends nor in contact (as far as I know). He never talks about her, but it really tore me up inside for him to say that to me. I didn't really say how much it hurt, except my reaction was pretty angry and rash... "****ing *******, why the **** did you tell me that?" Then a little bit later I just said, "How would you feel if I told you something like that..?" After that I dropped it. It's not his fault, really, but he still didn't have to bring that up and tell me. It really hurt and I can't get it out of my head, though I don't want to bug him about it. I thought about trying to make myself feel better by telling him similar things, but I never gave it a second thought, because I'm not that cruel. I don't know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredReality Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 So wait...he lost it a month after you two broke up right? Ok...so this is all about you right now. You need to stop obsessing about it. I know it bothers you to think of him with another woman and esp with someone you think is a total wh***, but he did it while you two were broken up, so technically he's in the clear here. He probably told you because he felt you had a right to know his sexual history...plus when you are with someone you automatically want to share things with them...at least in young relationships that's the case. Overtime I think we become more jaded and less open about things because of reactions like the one you're describing. Tell him that the thought of him with her bothers you and you're sorry if it seems like you're overreacting or being too emtional, but it came from left field and you just need a minute to process it all. Then take that minute...don't bring it up again until it doesn't hurt anymore. It may always bother you, but it will NOT always hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
Survivor12 Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Just curious why you marked the calendar in the first place.... Were you aware that that was the day he'd has sex with her? Link to post Share on other sites
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