Why does no one else think strip clubs are just plain WRONG???

[Crys0369]

Ok, so personally I wouldn't ever be a stripper. Some people enjoy the job though. Or perhaps just the money.

 

At any rate, I wouldn't ever go see male strippers because some dude shakin his stuff in my face would not turn me on in anyway. And honestly I wouldn't want to pay for it. BUT, guys enjoy females dancing for them. Maybe it's the relaxing atmosphere, maybe it's a place they can bond with their friends and have a few drinks. Maybe they just want to see NAKED CHICKS. YOU CANT COMPLAIN SO MUCH. Ok, so you get jealous when he goes there. Obviously. But you say the girls there are "perfect"...Woah. Sorry girl, but obviously you DO have some issues with yourself. It's nothing that I'm sure thousands of women go through but c'mon! They're dancing for him. You act like he comes in and they all just run up to him offering him sex.

 

If you complain about the little things, he's not gonna listen to the big things. Maybe it is a big thing to you. But it's something you hafta learn to get over if you want to keep him. TRUST HIM. And if he cheats on you, I doubt he's gonna do it there, and if he does...he wasn't worth you're time anyway.

 

Why don't you try going with him? You might just have more fun than you think...

[Crys0369]

Then again, if you want to make him see how YOU feel...

 

Tell him you're going out to a male strip club with your friends. You don't hafta go. But just see what he says. If he has a problem with it, then you can let him know the double standard is not ok. But if he gives you the freedom, you should give him his. Just because some guys are liers, cheaters, and pigs doesn't mean they all are. Plus, it could be a good way to figure out if he is or not. Maybe I'm nieve but I like to give people the benifit of the doubt ya know.

[dreaming4ever]

Wow!

I REALLY didn't expect this thread I started to get so heated! YIKES!

 

Go see dicks on ice? lol...that's hilarious! I should seriously tell my boyfriend I'm going to a strip joint and see what he says....hmmm....could be interesting!

[dyermaker]

Originally posted by in love w/a muslim

it has nothing to do with the trust issue that some people have in there relationships. its the fact that your going out watching other woman .... which makes the woman your with feel uncomfturble its not to mutch that we are worried your going to do something is that your out there looking at other woman for crying out loud .

It would only make someone uncomfortable if they didn't have the trust in their man's ability to sort through his own thoughts.

u ****ing idiot cant you get that through your thick skull.. u ****in imbasile ....

It's a shame you have that trust issue, otherwise you sound like quite a catch.

 

Originally posted by arie

Dyermaker - I would hope that when you go to the beach...and I am assuming you go with your wife and kids that that is not why you go. I go to the beach to surf and have fun. I doubt that to many women worry about their men going to the beach unless a girl comes up to the man and start swinging her tw*t around in the air and in your face. That would be a problem.

Oh yes, most men go to the beach because of the incredible beauty of uhh... sand and water and stuff. If it wasn't for the revolting images of scantily-clad women parading around the beach, we'd go more often!! :D

Also Dyermaker if strip clubs are not sexual outings then take it to hooters or something. Plenty to look at there and not have something grinding on you...you still get to look. There! Everyone is happy. =p

We would, but the food is bad.

 

Any girl out there can have my man if she want to. It's her choice not his.

This is the crux of the trust issue. You don't have enough RESPECT for your man to understand that he cares about you through his own volition. You pretend that it's his transgression, when really it's yours. This type of behavior disgusts me, and I sincerely praise God that all women don't think like you.

[Bill]

Originally posted by chrissy4534624

GIRL i soooo agree with u....dont listen to these tarts

then again im a jealous, insecure person myself... most of the time hahaha

 

personally i know too many dudes who brag about banging strippers, men who are married and say they paid a girl in the back room for a little head, and have spent my time with the boys at the strip clubs. the same dudes that have visited hookers and would bang a stripper if there wife/girlfriend wasn't looking in a HEARTBEAT.

guys enjoy looking at trash, they also want a freaky wife in bed but want her to be an angel out on the street.

 

as for whoever said they did a report and that guys are just there for visual and that they are quiet compared to women...THATS CUZ Dudes are scum and they are sitting there quiet because they are just dreaming that no one else was around them so they could just jack off right there. they are quiet because they get sucked into the fantasy of some slutty chick undressing infront of them...women are loud and obnoxious at strip clubs cuz they arent getting OFF on it. Dudes get OFF on going, whoever says its for entertainment or bonding with the other boys, thats just plain garbage. guys are scum thats all. im military and have seen plenty of dudes cheat on their wifes while away temporary dude and pay for cheap blow jobs from the trash that work at the strip clubs. also i bartended at a strip joint for a few minutes before i was totally disgusted with it, thus im an expert, men are scum.

 

case closed. dump him and buy a dildo cuz they are all the same, i doubt ull find a dude who doesn't enjoy going to the strip joints...but u will find ones who lie and say they dont, wouldn't, wont, blah blah blah.

 

 

I would never go to a strip club, but you'll never believe that, because I'm a GUY. Don't generalize and think that all guys are like this, because there are some that would NEVER go there. Be intelligent; don't make sweeping generalizations.

 

Any girl out there can have my man if she want to. It's her choice not his

Keep dreaming. Don't hold your head too high; you might smack it on the lights.

[Dug]

This is recurring topic, and as I have said before......I nor would most guys tolerate a dik teaser on a date, or the office, so I do not like strip clubs for that same reason. On the other strings, I also recall several women who defended their men and even go along to these clubs. This seems cool, until the once hot 25 yr old wife has a baby....stretch marks....spider veins in her legs and hemroids the size of hotdogs, or if not the hemmroids, then the unsexy C-Section scar. That is the point where the boys night out loses it's appeal for the wife......but he is still gonna go and all but a few women will feel intimidated because the strippers are near physically perfect by comparison. Welcome to the real reality show.

[arie]

Dyermaker

It would only make someone uncomfortable if they didn't have the trust in their man's ability to sort through his own thoughts

 

Oh yes, most men go to the beach because of the incredible beauty of uhh... sand and water and stuff. If it wasn't for the revolting images of scantily-clad women parading around the beach, we'd go more often!!

 

Well there you go. We all now know where your thoughts are don't we?

 

This is the crux of the trust issue. You don't have enough RESPECT for your man to understand that he cares about you through his own volition. You pretend that it's his transgression, when really it's yours. This type of behavior disgusts me, and I sincerely praise God that all women don't think like you.

 

And once again you are wrong. I do trust my man but I also understand why these women think like they do and I can see how painful it is for them. And it's because of men like you rubbing there faces in it that make it worse. I feel sorry for who ever you are with...."honey lets go to the beach so I can ignore you while I slobber all over the girl with a better but then yours. What a nice catch you are.

 

Bill

Keep dreaming. Don't hold your head too high; you might smack it on the lights.

 

Congratulations, you must be the other 50%.

[dyermaker]

Arie, if you don't trust your man to only think of you, a ridiculous expectation anyway, why are you in a relationship with him?

[MB]

I have tons of friends who go to strip clubs. I have male friends I go to strip clubs frequently with (well not too frequently, i'm no addict, but a few times a year). I have female friends that go to these same strip clubs with me and get lap dances themselves. I have female friends that have gone together to Chippendales. My ex-girlfriend (I know what you're thinking... no, you're wrong. It was religion issues) even had her friends Bachelorette party in our own house. (I didn't know this could apply to guys, but damn, that stripper was an airhead.) Know what I did? I crashed at a friends house to let the girls have their fun.

 

People don't get hurt at strip clubs/bachelor parties. People don't get cheated on. And say you WERE to get cheated on? Think logically. Is this someone you'd really want to spend the rest of your life with anyways? If this guy is going to take out his weenie and stick it in the nearest stripper, good for him. Let's hope he dies from an STD for being retarded.

 

Get some god damn self esteem already.

[Guest]

Take all your arguments and turn it around to your wife/gf GIVING another man a lap dance or dancing for him. It's all fun and innocent, right? Nothing sexual. It's just fantasy. Don't you trust her?

[UCFKevin]

UCFKevin - I too have an ex that I didnt care if he went strip clubs either. If he went I never gave it a second thought. But is it maybe that I didnt care as much for him as some of these girls do about their men? After all, he is my ex. Careful guys, you might get what you wish for.

 

Hmmm..

 

How about NO?

 

How about she trusted me and had enough self esteem for me to do that and not worry that I was going to stray? Knowing that I didn't need to go elsewhere for sexual fulfillment?

 

Do you enjoy marquee guys? Guys in movies? Collin Farrell? Orlando Bloom? Let me guess, when you see them, you think, "Wow, I bet he'd be a GREAT platonic friend!"?

[chrissy4534624]

case closed. dump him and buy a dildo cuz they are all the same, i doubt ull find a dude who doesn't enjoy going to the strip joints...but u will find ones who lie and say they dont, wouldn't, wont, blah blah blah.

 

 

 

I would never go to a strip club, but you'll never believe that, because I'm a GUY. Don't generalize and think that all guys are like this, because there are some that would NEVER go there. Be intelligent; don't make sweeping generalizations.

 

 

oh shut up u're one of those undercover pervs i can tell by the way u type. ALL dudes ARE* like that, some just are more open about it. generalize that.

[UCFKevin]

Must be wonderful to go thru life with those rose tinted glasses you're wearing.

 

I know plenty of guys who have A) Never been to a stripclub and B) Never will due to absolutely no interest.

 

The Internet.

 

Think before you type.

[zarathustra]

oh shut up u're one of those undercover pervs i can tell by the way u type

 

Chrissy darling, inquiring minds want to know: WTF is an "undercover perv" and how can you pinpoint one from the way he types?

 

Thanks, doll.

[HokeyReligions]

Cheating is subjective. Its something you need to clarify in the beginning of a relationship.

 

Also, there ARE men who think strip clubs are disgusting too. My husband went once out of curiosity and he did not like it, it did nothing for him. He said he felt more sorry for the women and he was embarassed by it. He never went again - even when he was invited along to a bachelor party because he honestly felt that it would be disrespectful to me. I never said he couldn't go, because I trust him enough to know that the worst (or best) that would happen is his sexual energy would be so stimulated that he would come home and make love to me.

 

This was back when we were much younger and my husband was around 32 I think.

[Greta]

Geez - I'm away for a few days and look what I missed!

Here's my two cents worth, and I have personal experience with this subject. Please realize that my situation is a little different from dreamin4ever's. (see 'strip club + lap dance = cheating?' post)

 

 

Originally posted by Guest

I'm not sure if you can give links here, but there is a MB where guys talk about going and what goes through their mind. It doesn't match the answers here.

 

Others have, please feel free to post the link. Enquiring minds want to know.

 

 

Originally posted by Arie

 

guys...if it's not a big deal...if it really means nothing to you then WHY put your women through so much pain in going anyway when you KNOW it hurts her so much?

 

EXACTLY!!!

 

Originally posted by Dyermaker

I can't believe that the men don't see a huge issue in the fact that these girls aren't trusting you enough to have a simple night out with your friends, that would be very upsetting.

 

I never had a problem trusting my husband when he went out with his friends, until after he went to a strip club & lied to me about it - right up until he was caught red-handed. Now, every time he talks on the phone to one of his friends and I see him grinning like a Cheshire (sp?)cat & laughing - I'm paranoid, 'Is he sharing some private joke about what happened that night? something he conveniently didn't tell me "cause the less I know about it, the less I'll have to dwell on" . Or when he says 'So-n-so & I are gonna go out this weekend. Is that okay?' I realize I can't keep him locked up in the house forever, so I tell him, 'Sure, whatever - where are you going?' And he replies 'I'm not sure yet, just out' I'm instantly suspicious & feel nauseous - I don't want to feel this way, I want to be able to trust him, but I seem to always have that little voice whispering in the back of my mind 'He's planning to go back over there'

But the worst part is, my husband knows I'm thinking this and instead of saying 'We were just thinking of going downtown to shoot pool & drink beer @ ____ bar', he says 'I promised you I wouldn't buy anymore lap dances, why are you so upset?' Like I'm just supposed to take his word for it now after how he handled his 1st visit!

 

 

Originally posted by MB

I have tons of friends who go to strip clubs. I have male friends I go to strip clubs frequently with (well not too frequently, i'm no addict, but a few times a year).

 

How often must one go to be considered 'an addict'?

 

 

Originally posted by HokeyReligions

Its something you need to clarify in the beginning of a relationship.

 

This doesn't always come up in the beginning. In my situation, going to strip clubs wasn't something he had ever done before - so it was never discussed seriously or in depth. After he went, he told me one of the reasons he didn't tell me was that he knew I probably wouldn't like it and he didn't want to have a big fight before going over - but that he's about to turn 30 and had never gone before so he just felt it was something he needed to do, whether I liked it or not.

 

Over the weekend, he tried to get him and 3 of his buddies set up to go there, thinking that if there were a group of them going I would be okay with it - but when it ended up that only him and the friend he went with the 1st time were able to go, he changed his tune to 'maybe I'll just stay home instead' to avoid a fight.

 

As it turns out, I went with him and his friend to 2 strip bars (the first place {incidentally it was the place he went to originally} only 1 of their dancers showed up so then we went to the next place) and I was fine with all of it until we got to the 2nd place & he wanted me to pick out a girl so he could buy me a lap dance. It just made me feel sick to think of one of those women rubbing on me.

Of course i don't feel like that was truly an example of how he acts/reacts when at these places - duh! his wife was there!!

 

BTW, I would like to add that during a conversation at home -he was telling me about this new strip club that opened up & that they have an amateur night, I said 'Maybe I'll have to go up there & give it a try' and at the time he said 'Go ahead' But when we were at the strip club where only 1 dancer showed up & I said 'Hey! I could get up there and try it now! He was very against it.

 

I guess maybe that was 5 cents worth

[Bill]

Originally posted by chrissy4534624

oh shut up u're one of those undercover pervs i can tell by the way u type. ALL dudes ARE* like that, some just are more open about it. generalize that.

 

You need professional help. I hope you find the error in your ways.

 

 

Posted by UCFKevin in response to chrissy4534624

Must be wonderful to go thru life with those rose tinted glasses you're wearing.

 

I know plenty of guys who have A) Never been to a stripclub and B) Never will due to absolutely no interest.

 

The Internet.

 

Think before you type.

Thank you.

[MustBeGoingCrazy]

I personally agree with the original poster 100%.

 

I could never see myself, even as a ritual, going anywhere other than my SO for something like that.

 

I do, also, find it also completely disgusting that one would want to have a final fling before committing. You can't be truly in love with this person, if you can't commit 100% to them, even before you're married. I can see myself having a bachelor's party, but it will just be the guys getting around for some drinks, nothing involving strippers or the like.

 

When I say I want to commit the rest of my life to someone through a proposal, I mean it-- I don't mean "I want to commit my life to you AFTER we're married, till then, I'll just be faithful situationally."

[InmannRoshi]

How would I feel if my fiance and her friends decided to go to Chippendales for her Bachelorette party?

 

I wouldn't care one bit.

 

I just hope she has a blast.

[Guest]

Greta, I've been through the same things you've described about trust for the past 1 1/2.

 

There are web sites out there for people who frequent strip clubs. Warning. It turned my stomach. About half these guys are married or have gfs.

[deesgirl]

Deesgirl, formerly Guest.

 

I wasn't allowed to post the link. Just put in a search for stripclubjunkies.

[chrissy4534624]

hahahahha OKAY

 

to the ladies here who say ohhh not my husband...he says he got nothing out of going....Bull...he's blowing smoke up ur butt...don't be so neive ...your the same women who have no clue your husband cheated on you after 15 years of marriage then wonder why you were so gullible.

 

and to the guys who said seek professional help, i will...right after u admit that 99.9% of u get turned on my the trashy girls that work at the strip clubs...the other .1% are just gay.

 

don't try to prove it to people online that you're above it because u know damn well that ur not.

[Bill]

Originally posted by chrissy4534624

and to the guys who said seek professional help, i will...right after u admit that 99.9% of u get turned on my the trashy girls that work at the strip clubs...the other .1% are just gay.

 

don't try to prove it to people online that you're above it because u know damn well that ur not.

 

I never will go to a strip club, and I'm completely straight. Just because you don't think something exists, doesn't mean it doesn't. Who are you to judge every male? What are your qualifications?

 

This seems to be the cause of your prejudice. You seem attack all males, but that won't solve your inability to hold a relationship. Don't blame your weaknesses on others by making sweeping generalizations.

Posted by chrissy4534624 in another thread

anyway....i kinda had the same issue with my recent x-fiance...he dug the porn a lot, well he wasn't really with anyone before me for a couple of years so that's basically what he got into it. i even found out he had a foot fetish in the beginning of our relationship, i think its gross and it bothered me but he was pretty honest about it ...well prob. because i found a video or something so he had to be honest...but anyways i tried getting into porn with him but at the moment i could watch it with him and get into it but afterwards it was like what the hell, why am i even encouraging it? he even told me he preferred blonds and always had, since im brunette it bothered me since he would skip over the brunettes in the vids and go right to the slutty lookin blonds. since im not blond it was like, well if he's always been attracted sexually to blonds what the hell's he with me for ya know?

 

anyway, i ditched him and now i skip to the parts of the vids that i like and everythings much better now.

 

porn can be cool for the moment, but afterwards it can make a female feel pretty damn insecure and makes it seem like the dude doesnt have much respect for women depending on what kinda kinky crap he enjoys watching. if your dudes jackin off to playboy then u really dont have much of a prob. on your hands because they all do it...but if hes getting into weird **** you don't like, run fast. my x-fiance got ditched for other reasons besides the porn but thats another story.

[moimeme]

Don't blame your weaknesses on others by making sweeping generalizations.

 

Why ever not? People here do it all the time

[Bill]

Originally posted by moimeme

Don't blame your weaknesses on others by making sweeping generalizations.

 

Why ever not? People here do it all the time

 

Sad, but true .