jafgreen Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 Well here is the short version of my situation... I have been married for close to 13 years, my wife and I have 2 girls, 10 and 12, about 12 months ago she came to me with the whole "I love you but I am not inlove with you" followed by " I need to find myself and where I want and need to be", a couple of months ago she moved out. We are splitting joint 50/50 custody with the kids. My parent paid not only for our wedding, but they also cover in full her complete education, she now has a masters degree, and is a thrid grade teacher. The money for her schooling came from what will be my retirementfund that was set up by them years before I married. She left me with a house that we had bought, and thanks to the economy I am about $75,000 up side down. I really feel she left me with a crap load of finacial problems, not to mention she took almost all of the saving we had. This has left me with out much of a retirement, and hardly no savings. Meanwhile she is sitting on a great retirement program that is offered to Michigan school teachers. Now it is totally about the money, but I keep feeling myself returning to this. After all I spent the first 8 years working just to pay all the bills, while she got a free education, it leave a bitter taste in my mouth. I have been going to a therapist with her on a pretty regular basis, they put her on anti depressants, and I have been really working on rebuilding the connection with her. Latley it feels every step we move forwards, we end up taking 20 back. We don't really fight and we have always had a very strong friendship. She wants to maintain that friendship, but I have issues with that. Basically I am just looking for opinions on how to handle this.. Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 Well, here's a starter question: you say you guys don't really argue, OK. But did you find yourself getting sort of resentful (in small subtle ways) even before she moved out? As for how to handle it: channel all of your upset/anger/confusion into POSITIVE energy toward your kids. Don't waste time trying to plead with her or anything because it won't work. If you focus on the kids, you focus on individuals who love you unconditionally and without any pretext. Link to post Share on other sites
russell1968 Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 Well, here's a starter question: you say you guys don't really argue, OK. But did you find yourself getting sort of resentful (in small subtle ways) even before she moved out? As for how to handle it: channel all of your upset/anger/confusion into POSITIVE energy toward your kids. Don't waste time trying to plead with her or anything because it won't work. If you focus on the kids, you focus on individuals who love you unconditionally and without any pretext. Thats great advice! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts