CambridgeGirl Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 I think if I have been on 3 dates and there is clear chemistry, if he doesn't try to kiss me I would be baffled. I wouldn't initiate directly but there are signals of receptiveness that we give off that we don't always even consciously know. I can't imagine waiting a month or more just for a kiss, I'd lose interest by then, I have enough male friends I never kiss. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Josh25 Posted May 7, 2011 Author Share Posted May 7, 2011 Wow, loads of contrasting viewpoints here. I've only been on 2 dates with her. Well, I guess all I can do now is wait and see how this develops. Personally, I'm not sure if "kissing" is the sole solution. I guess it also depends on the girl in question? She is reserved and very shy. Anyways, I've decided to wait for the weekend to pass before initiating anything more. I mean if she wants to take it slow then the least I could do is to respect that? Link to post Share on other sites
PinkInTheLimo Posted May 7, 2011 Share Posted May 7, 2011 Well, if you want to end up looking on as she moves on to a guy who isn't afraid to come after her and knows how to do her, keep exchanging these polite texts and meaningful glances instead of kisses. It's blunt, but true. It's not true, it's a stereotypical idea. There are no golden rules in this, everything depends on the 2 people in question. Link to post Share on other sites
PinkInTheLimo Posted May 7, 2011 Share Posted May 7, 2011 I think if I have been on 3 dates and there is clear chemistry, if he doesn't try to kiss me I would be baffled. Before I kiss a guy I want to know a couple of things about him, for example how many other women he is currently dating. I don't want to kiss a guy who will kiss another woman the day after or has kissed another woman the day before. Link to post Share on other sites
PinkInTheLimo Posted May 7, 2011 Share Posted May 7, 2011 You seem to hold a very extreme position on physical affection though. I don't think I know anyone who would be willing to wait 6 months to kiss someone they were dating. I'n pretty sure that the majority of women don't think that kissing on a third date is too forward if they are attracted to the person they are on the date with. I read in an interview that Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas dated for 9 months before they kissed for the first time. OK, I hear you say "Yes, but she is Catherine Zeta-Jones." That's right, but hey, he is Michael Douglas. I have gone fast in the past kissing guys I thought were a prince and turned out to be a frog. Therefore, I first want to know if a guy can be a good friend, I want to know if he has integrity, if he is honest, if he is mature, if he is truly single and strong enough to remain single (so not the kind of guy who has another girlfriend every 3 weeks). It seems to me that the fact that a guy is willing to take time to get to know me and to let me know him, is to a certain extent a guarantee about his maturity. Link to post Share on other sites
seekandfind Posted May 7, 2011 Share Posted May 7, 2011 Well, if you want to end up looking on as she moves on to a guy who isn't afraid to come after her and knows how to do her, keep exchanging these polite texts and meaningful glances instead of kisses. It's blunt, but true. Quoted for truth. Probably less than 1% of the population would wait 6 months for a kiss.. Be a gentleman. But also be assertive and show this girl that you want her. A girl who have just recently met WOULD NOT say "it was lovely seeing you again" unless she likes you! Have a another nice night out with her, and kiss her (preferably before the night is over)! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Josh25 Posted May 13, 2011 Author Share Posted May 13, 2011 Hey guys Well, she asked me for dinner this week and it went pretty well. I told her via text that I would like to hang out again sometime and she wrote me an email telling me her free days next week. She does have a busy social life it seems. She also did mention that she was enjoying getting to know me (I said the same in a previous message to her). I wouldn't read too much into all this (i.e. she really likes me) since she is naturally polite and cordial. I think kisses should come naturally and I'm willing to wait until we know each other better before I venture further even if it is going to take sometime. --I guess I am old-fashioned in that sense. And I very much agree with PinkInTheLimo. The confusing part however is that she prefers email over text/phone since most of her messages are via email. Is that normal? lol She still is very formal in her emails and sometimes in person. I have started to really like her. I am also afraid that my feelings would intensify as I meet her more and then it would hurt like hell if she didn't feel the same way in the end. I could be just another 'good friend' for her. So I am confused. I will not take the risk of asking her directly if she feels the same way because that would indeed ruin whatever we have now. I guess I have to wait and see . . . I'm flying off to Germany over the weekend on a work related trip so we've arranged to see each other next week. Link to post Share on other sites
sanskrit Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 Better a bit reserved than garrulous, the preferring Email over text and phone is a DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH my man, appreciate that, it's near priceless. Agree with Ruby, start giving her opportunities to express minor physical affection, sit together at bars, do active things, take walks. Make light jokes and have fun, once she starts casually touching you, leaning into you or even matching her pace to stay close to you, escalate by stroking her lower arm, playfully grabbing her hand as you move along, as she responds, lean in towards her smiling and stop at a certain plane that is not all the way in her space but not directly in the middle either, she should move her head in and then there you go. There's no reason for a first kiss to be a huge stressful "move." It can be fun and natural if you give her the right cues, are aware of what she is telling you, and respond at the right moment. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Josh25 Posted May 19, 2011 Author Share Posted May 19, 2011 Thanks for the response. Well,,,we went for a few more dates (4 in total) and I finally had the courage to kiss her on her cheek and I don't think it went particularly well. ...or rather I was left confused. We were in a crowded carpark and about to part ways and I leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek. She briefly hugged me but didn't reciprocate the kiss. However, just before "the kiss" happened, she asked me if I was free next week and she told me that she was free all nights and asked if I would like to meet up again. I suggested we cold go for dinner or something and she said that would be nice. I do really like her and I've hinted through texts to which she has also responded in a somewhat less direct but similar fashion. I guess I am very confused if she likes me. Any thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Ross MwcFan Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 She's probably religious and/or had a strict upbringing. Link to post Share on other sites
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