Ckooplost Posted April 10, 2004 Share Posted April 10, 2004 My husband just recently got back from Iraq! He has changed a lot since he was out there. He has made a lot of new friends and a lot of them are women. He calls them his field family. Now that they are back now I feel as though he may have changed so much that he does not want me anymore. He says that he has not cheated on me and that they are only friends, however I am really not comfortable with this women friend thing because things are not secure here at home. What do I do about it without pushing him back into a shell and making him upset with me. He thinks that this is not big deal and that I am just going to have to learn how to trust him and deal with it. I am not sure what to do, we have been married for 18 years and I love him so much but sometimes I feel as though he does not love me at all, because if he did he would understand. What to do ? Link to post Share on other sites
FolderWife Posted April 10, 2004 Share Posted April 10, 2004 Why are you uncomfortable with him having female friends? Has he done something? Is he neglecting you? Need more info. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ckooplost Posted April 11, 2004 Author Share Posted April 11, 2004 You see my husband has been in the desert for a year and has learned how to talk and be very independent. but the thing is he won't really talk to me much and show emotion at home because he is afraid of hurting my feelings. I guess that I am being kind of jealous about it all but I don't really like the idea of him being able to spill his guts to someone else and not me. What can I do about this? He has backed one woman off because she had a crush on him and I am very proud of him for that. But this other friend just got back from the same place and she is having problems with getting used to her husband as well so you see! It's kind of a scary situation. And he tells me that he is not cheating and we are still having sex and all, but I just don't know how to get over this part. Any idea's ? Please help someone! Link to post Share on other sites
nikkilove Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 You two have been apart for so long........and him in the very stressful environment of War on top of it........you would expect people thrown in an environment like that to form close friendships, but now he's home and has you, just give eachother time to adjust and decompress ..... I'd think it might take some time for both of you to adjust to eachother again. Patience and time. Maybe even some counseling, or talking with a pastor or something. Does the miliatary offer anything? I would think other military families who are reunited after being apart for so long have adjustments also. I wish you the best, if he's already backed off a woman who had intentions other than friendship, sounds like his heart is in the right place. Can you become "friends" with these women too? Then the women see a united front and you are keeping your friends (husband) close and your enemies (the women you are threatened by) even closer Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ckooplost Posted April 11, 2004 Author Share Posted April 11, 2004 Thank you so much for the advice! I understand what you mean. We are learning about eachother again and he has a little too much time on his hands right now too so that might be it. I am just having a hard time with the trust issue. I always have and he knows that! I think that we are going through mid life crisis right now too. At the same time! I just have to give him his space and let him do what he has to do! Because I think that if I hold him too tightly then that will make him hate me. Thanks again for all of the advice! Link to post Share on other sites
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