Misconceptions about what men and women want from eachother

[xxoo]

 

 

Not to cause trouble here, but Can I ask? does this apply to the hollywood guys and/or the guys in the PIcs that some of the girls here were groveling over? I've noticed that most women have plenty of desire and horniness for guys who do NOTHING for them. They simply breathe the same air as their SO's. It doesn't appear as if anything nees to be done for the woman....if you're the right guy:rolleyes:. Just playing devils advocate again.

 

Typically, the woman felt that way about her SO, too, when they first got together--all carefree dating with lots of lust and sex

 

It is when lives and households are interwoven that the acts of love (or lack of them) come into play.

 

Sure, she can still get her freak on with someone new. So could he. We really ARE alike in that way, I believe. But the trick is to stay connected and promote loving feelings in the longterm relationship---and sharing the chores, while no guarantee of success, is a smart move

[pyroguy]

Typically, the woman felt that way about her SO, too, when they first got together--all carefree dating with lots of lust and sex

It is when lives and households are interwoven that the acts of love (or lack of them) come into play.

Sure, she can still get her freak on with someone new. So could he. We really ARE alike in that way, I believe. But the trick is to stay connected and promote loving feelings in the longterm relationship---and sharing the chores, while no guarantee of success, is a smart move

 

Hmmm, as irresistable as I am:lmao:, I'm not sure the wife ever lusted at my picture, and got all horny...but what do I know.

 

You definitely do have a great perspective. I think the disgruntled single guys and the unhappy, unwanted married guys should be asking you if you have a sister.

[pyroguy]

This is generic male emotion, we just have to embrace it as such. no man needs to taught how to feel about his. first time we are with a gf we really care about and it dawns on us that she's been doing what feels so special to us with other men before us, it just doesnt work for us.

 

it seems to be exactly the same in all cultures all over the world, so its not culture specific, so most likely evolutionary.

 

no, it doesnt matter who ****ed your wife. you would feel better if she slutted it out with 20 total loosers?

 

I agree, it's how we are wired. I'm not sure what you mean in your last line.

 

Of course, I wouldn't want someone who would be with anyone at anytime, who was a cheater, would have sex with attached people etc.,. But, if you mean I should be terribly judgemental just over the number of partners, eh, not sure anymore. When I was young, idealistic, and naive...maybe. I'm older, more mature, sexually open, and understand the times we live in.

[pyroguy]

no it doesnt. she knows women will lust for men for sex without any commitment what so ever. but she thinks that men and women are very similar and that the husband doesnt care about that as long as he gets sex as a trade for everything else he provides. she thinks men want to be providers in order to get access to sex.

dont take her out of her fog.

 

Well, to be honest, I have not read everything she said and have no idea what her theory is. I will say that many women do operate under the false assumption that just "giving it to him" is some sort of prize...it's not. I can't speak for all men, but it's an immense turn-off for me.

[starryeyed12]

 

Well, to be honest, I have not read everything she said and have no idea what her theory is. I will say that many women do operate under the false assumption that just "giving it to him" is some sort of prize...it's not. I can't speak for all men, but it's an immense turn-off for me.

 

 

Personally, I don't feel that "giving it to him" is a prize, nor should my partner feel that giving it to me is a prize.

 

In fact, the misconception I hear a lot is that men just want to get theirs and don't bother trying to get the woman off, especially if she takes more than 5-10 mins. After they get theirs, it's a prize if he puts in the effort to give her hers.

 

In any case, I think any partner, man or woman, who thinks giving pleasure to his/her partner is a prize is either a.) a lazy partner, who is therefore trying to portray it as something hard/takes a lot of effort (so you better enjoy that prize when you can) b.) doesn't feel turned on by you as much anymore, so is therefore trying to portray it as something only given on rare occasions c.) has an ego complex.

 

Giving pleasure to your partner is something you committed to when you decided to get serious and take it from friends to more.

 

Things happen along the way that can meddle with the desire to do so. That was my earlier point.

[starryeyed12]

 

 

Not to cause trouble here, but Can I ask? does this apply to the hollywood guys and/or the guys in the PIcs that some of the girls here were groveling over? I've noticed that most women have plenty of desire and horniness for guys who do NOTHING for them. They simply breathe the same air as their SO's. It doesn't appear as if anything nees to be done for the woman....if you're the right guy:rolleyes:. Just playing devils advocate again.

 

 

I'm a little confused by exactly what your talking about, but from what I gather, you answered your own question.

 

The answer:

Women have desire for sexy, hot actors because they do nothing for them.

 

I'll explain.

 

Sexy actors are not real. They are not real in many ways.

 

1. Because they live off in lala land Hollywood, and you will never meet/know the real person no matter how many episodes of E! True Hollywood story you watch.

 

2. Because they are actually artificial--plastic surgery, botoxed, photo shopped, etc.

 

We all know this. Yet, both men and women sometimes have these obsessions with them. Why? Because they are an escape from our often drab, dreary, boring lives. It's a fantasy.

 

In real life they do nothing for us, except provide a happy distraction from our problems, or our own original thoughts. Often fantasies will never be as good as the reality.

 

So, it's a great distraction to look at or fantasize about Brad Pitt because he's everything you love without having to actually know or deal with his bad traits. Everyone has bad, annoying traits, but in a fantasy you don't ever have to deal/live with that.

 

Hope that clears it up!

[nordic]

Typically, the woman felt that way about her SO, too, when they first got together--all carefree dating with lots of lust and sex

 

It is when lives and households are interwoven that the acts of love (or lack of them) come into play.

 

Sure, she can still get her freak on with someone new. So could he. We really ARE alike in that way, I believe. But the trick is to stay connected and promote loving feelings in the longterm relationship---and sharing the chores, while no guarantee of success, is a smart move

 

mmm, its a smart move for women, but is it really for men? given that we want different things.

 

men want uncomplicated sex. women serve that up to us as long as there is no deep relationship. so then we get what we want.

 

when we enter a relationship, all of the sudden at least some men dont get what they want. now how is that a smart move exactly?

 

i dont live like that at the moment, and i like it.

 

i think this is a source of irritation for married men. they are doing all the hard work being providers and then their women are thanking them by, not only witholding sex from them, but sometimes serving it up to other men that does absolutely nothing for them on a vacation trip:)

 

that seems irritating.

[nordic]

 

Hmmm, as irresistable as I am:lmao:, I'm not sure the wife ever lusted at my picture, and got all horny...but what do I know.

 

You definitely do have a great perspective. I think the disgruntled single guys and the unhappy, unwanted married guys should be asking you if you have a sister.

 

 

he he. i want a picture of that sister before i do anything. but, i am hot stuff:)

[nordic]

 

I agree, it's how we are wired. I'm not sure what you mean in your last line.

 

Of course, I wouldn't want someone who would be with anyone at anytime, who was a cheater, would have sex with attached people etc.,. But, if you mean I should be terribly judgemental just over the number of partners, eh, not sure anymore. When I was young, idealistic, and naive...maybe. I'm older, more mature, sexually open, and understand the times we live in.

 

you just gave up man:)

 

no, its a joke, i dont mean that. we all deal with things in our own ways. yes, and the fact you say it is something we need to deal with means that you understand the mechanism.

 

last sentence was in reference to when you wrote that this mechanism was because you felt insecure about her other men she had in bed. if they were cool rock stars or whatever.

 

but i dont think its about that. imagine a room filled with all the men your wife let inside her, and they were all a bunch of complete losers. would that really make feel better than if they were socially better adapt? for me it dont matter which social status the men she had inside her had. its just the fact that she let them **** her for know apparent reason (well, apart from the obvious), and thats not how we want to think about our wives i guess. we like to think that they were looking for a relationship or love. but if she let two guys **** her at the same time on a greek island during vacation, thats kind of hard to argue, right? so, thats why i stay clear of women like that. if there is no history, there is no first question to trigger all the others.

 

of course, there is always the rumfeldian "unknown unknowns", but them we cant really deal with. thats a lesson for women who want to cover up i guess. never give any hooks.

[nordic]

 

Well, to be honest, I have not read everything she said and have no idea what her theory is. I will say that many women do operate under the false assumption that just "giving it to him" is some sort of prize...it's not. I can't speak for all men, but it's an immense turn-off for me.

 

agree, i hate that. might as well have sex with a doll if there is no connection.

[nordic]

I'm a little confused by exactly what your talking about, but from what I gather, you answered your own question.

 

The answer:

Women have desire for sexy, hot actors because they do nothing for them.

 

I'll explain.

 

Sexy actors are not real. They are not real in many ways.

 

1. Because they live off in lala land Hollywood, and you will never meet/know the real person no matter how many episodes of E! True Hollywood story you watch.

 

2. Because they are actually artificial--plastic surgery, botoxed, photo shopped, etc.

 

We all know this. Yet, both men and women sometimes have these obsessions with them. Why? Because they are an escape from our often drab, dreary, boring lives. It's a fantasy.

 

In real life they do nothing for us, except provide a happy distraction from our problems, or our own original thoughts. Often fantasies will never be as good as the reality.

 

So, it's a great distraction to look at or fantasize about Brad Pitt because he's everything you love without having to actually know or deal with his bad traits. Everyone has bad, annoying traits, but in a fantasy you don't ever have to deal/live with that.

 

Hope that clears it up!

 

this clears nothing up pyroguy.

 

for the very reason that women do sleep with men that are in shape and look good, and act the right way, given the opportunity in real life.

 

if it where pure fantasies, yes. then she would be correct. but look at any vacation resort where women go on their own, or with girlfriends. women will have sex with men that portray the traits mentioned above, and ask for nothing in return, over and over. fantasy or not, and often the guy is of course not telling the truth, but the spreading of womens' legs are still real.

[xxoo]

 

he he. i want a picture of that sister before i do anything. but, i am hot stuff:)

 

Pyroguy, I think nordic would prefer you ask him out

[pyroguy]

Pyroguy, I think nordic would prefer you ask him out

 

 

Hmm, no deal. I know a good looking guy, but I'm excessively straight...I love women.

 

Then again, if he really makes what he said, maybe I should reconsider:p

[nordic]

 

 

Hmm, no deal. I know a good looking guy, but I'm excessively straight...I love women.

 

Then again, if he really makes what he said, maybe I should reconsider:p

 

there will be no marriage, i can tell you that:)