It's so hard to make female friends.

[Rinnix]

I have around 4 female friends total right now. I used to have a good 10+ but most of them ended up to be bad people for me.

 

I get along much better with the male gender. They are less dramatic and are just as social. I have had some male friends that I had to let go because they wanted to be more then platonic. So here I am at square one again.

 

I like having female friends in my life, but often I find that drama comes along with them. I am past the stages of gossip and making snarky comments at people.

 

I have also been back stabbed by numerous ladies who I thought were friends.

 

I recently let go of one of my friends because she would always flake on me. I would always be there for her, but when I needed to talk she was "busy". She would complain about her boyfriend who was sneaking around, then ditch all of her friends for him.

 

My social life with friends is limited because my friends live very busy lives. (One has a child and another on the way, the other just moved, and another has very busy school hours).

 

My longterm boyfriend is moving provinces and we are going to be long distance. It would be really nice to meet some new friends and for me to be more social.

 

I do volunteer work right now, but there isn't many people in my age range. I volunteer with mothers & there babies.

 

I'm also in a psych class right now, I'm social with everyone in it. Although I talk to everyone, it hasn't lead to any really strong friendships, just acquaintances.

 

This august I'm going to be taking a hairstylist class, I hope that I can be social and meet some new friends with the girls there. But what am I to do in the meantime?

 

I find it hard to connect with the female gender as it is. Around my age (20's) it's always about drama, and it's not what I'm looking for.

 

I'm also not a drinker, I don't do clubs. I'm the typical nerdy girl who would rather go to an arcade (or play some videogames. )opposed to going dancing. I rather sit and read a book opposed to going to the bar to be hit on.

 

Input anyone?

[applefruit]

I have the same issue.Im a 27 yr old female and I dont have any friends now.Ive had a few friends over time but i lost contact with them.Im sure my old friends from years ago would want to talk to me still but Im too shy to contact them again since its been years.Id feel stupid about it like they would think i did something great in the last few years and i didnt, i have nothing to say for myself

 

I have a shyness problem and low self esteem issue so i often feel im not good enough to talk to anyone or everyone is better than me, so i keep quiet alot and avoid people. i feel bad about myself so i have some social anxiety

 

so its hard for me to make friends and a big effort for me to keep in contact with friends and grow a friendship.But in reality im a cool person, a very nice girl with a nice personality, im kind, conciderate and make people laugh.im helpful to others and innovative and always think of cool stuff so id be a good friend if i wasnt afraid to approach or be myself to people.

 

people who have gotten to know me as friends say im very nice, generous,great smart girl and have a cool sense of humor.

 

but because of family issues and the way my familys treated me i feel lie garbage and like a terrible person who dosnt deserve anything and that no one should like me.

 

so i do need to make more friends while im still young, im heading to the end of my 20s. and no one cares about you once your 30

 

Im also a nerd, a big nerd.I dont follow the crowd,Im an individual. i dont drink, i dont smoke, never got drunk, i hate "partying" never been top a club and dont want to go to one. i dont and cant dance, maybe the chicken dance or the electric slide or macarena which i wont do in public

 

so im not like many girls of my age in my area. most of them are ditsy, stuck up bratty girls who wear too much makeup and talk bad bout people and their maturity level is that of a 12 yr old.

 

im not a catty girl, but some girls are. im a team player, i do care about others and i rarely judge people. i dont need to wear designer clothes, i rarely wear makeup. if i could id make my entire wardrobe sweatpants, baggy t shirts, scrunchies and sneakers.

 

ive met some very snobby girls who have orange skin, dyed hair are 24 and had 5 plastic surgeries and only wear outfits above 1000 dollars. it annoys me severely because theyre rude to me, very self centered and they act like the junior highschool mean girls even tho they are grown women in their 20s and need to act like an adult.

 

i think its thise generation becaus when i left highschool age people stopped judging me and this yr tons of grown women in their 20s are treating me like how i got treated in highschool.i dont like that and i dont want to be friends with a catty snobby girl unless shes very rich and will buy or give me designer stuff for my birthday.otherwise i cant tolerate a jerk that will judge me based on how much makeup i wear or not and how much my outfit costs

 

i also like cool stuff like video games, walking outdoors, photography, making stuff,writing, artsy things, cartoons, cooking, arcades. so i think thats great that im not a robot thats obsessed with fashion, diet pills,clubbing,drinking,partying.

[DreamerGirl27]

I have around 4 female friends total right now. I used to have a good 10+ but most of them ended up to be bad people for me.

 

I get along much better with the male gender. They are less dramatic and are just as social. I have had some male friends that I had to let go because they wanted to be more then platonic. So here I am at square one again.

 

I like having female friends in my life, but often I find that drama comes along with them. I am past the stages of gossip and making snarky comments at people.

 

I have also been back stabbed by numerous ladies who I thought were friends.

 

I recently let go of one of my friends because she would always flake on me. I would always be there for her, but when I needed to talk she was "busy". She would complain about her boyfriend who was sneaking around, then ditch all of her friends for him.

 

My social life with friends is limited because my friends live very busy lives. (One has a child and another on the way, the other just moved, and another has very busy school hours).

 

My longterm boyfriend is moving provinces and we are going to be long distance. It would be really nice to meet some new friends and for me to be more social.

 

I do volunteer work right now, but there isn't many people in my age range. I volunteer with mothers & there babies.

 

I'm also in a psych class right now, I'm social with everyone in it. Although I talk to everyone, it hasn't lead to any really strong friendships, just acquaintances.

 

This august I'm going to be taking a hairstylist class, I hope that I can be social and meet some new friends with the girls there. But what am I to do in the meantime?

 

I find it hard to connect with the female gender as it is. Around my age (20's) it's always about drama, and it's not what I'm looking for.

 

I'm also not a drinker, I don't do clubs. I'm the typical nerdy girl who would rather go to an arcade (or play some videogames. )opposed to going dancing. I rather sit and read a book opposed to going to the bar to be hit on.

 

Input anyone?

 

go to church. You'll meet plenty of non-drinker, non-clubber, non-dramatic girls there. I've never had a problem with a female friend...or if I have, I just let it roll off my back and don't blame their gender for the fact that there was something off about our friendship, or them, or me, even. It's not a matter of gender, it's a matter of the kind of person you're friends with. Gender does come into play with male friends, as you said some of them developed feelings. That's why I prefer to keep female friends and I only have about 3 or 4 really close female friends as well. I like it that way.

 

Good friends are hard to come by and the longer one sticks around, the more you know you have a true friend, as opposed to keeping track of how many friends you have and what their gender is. I am uncomfortable around males, because, there is always that sexual thing in the back of their mind. Being aware of this make it really uncomfortable to hang out alone with them, unless I like them in that way. I tend to hang out with just my few really close girlfriends and only guys that I have a thing for. It just creates...to put it blunt... Less drama in my life.

[Rinnix]

I'm glad im not alone in this. I hope that you and me can both meet some nice girls to be friends with.

 

People always assume I'm shallow, and they don't talk to me. I wear makup and dress in nice casual clothing. I don't have low self esteem, I like how I look and who I am as a person, but I'm not shallow at all.

 

I'm actually really friendly and approachable, but sometime's im shy. Before I started volunteering I was a pure introvert. Now I'm much better with being social so I hope I can use it to my advantage.

 

When I was in my earlier teens I used to be picked on because of bad skin, most of the ones picking on me were females. People would come up to me and say "Whats wrong with your face?"

 

Now that my skin has cleared and I have a beautiful complexion I get more attention from men and women. Some of it is negative (people making false assumptions about me). When I had bad skin women would put me down for it, but now that I have nice clear skin I'm treated like competition.

 

I don't judge others for how they look, because I know what it's like to be put down. There is beauty in everyone, you just have to look. I have many great traits to offer to a friendship, I'm just having a hard time connecting to people.

 

Uggh!

Edited May 7, 2011 by Rinnix

[thespiff]

OH. MY. GOD.

 

Everything you said sounds 100% like me. Me and you need to get together as friends.

 

First off, my whole life I have always gotten along better with guys. I tend to call everyone "dude"... and I just get their sense of humor. xD They are immature and fun and I love them.

 

And me and you have the exact same problem with guys. They always want more then friendship. Always. Or they want to hookup. And we don't want that with most of them.

 

I have lost SO MANY guy friends over the years because I either end up becoming boyfriend and girlfriend with them and then losing them that way, or them wanting to be more then friends. Once they figure out that I only want friendship and that's all that I will ever want, they are gone and once they find a girlfriend they barely even talk to me anymore. It's sad.

 

I am also the kind of person who likes to sit inside rather then party. I don't like to drink and mingle. And I don't even use a purse yet and I'm 20 years old. I don't care about clothes and makeup. I like video games and anime for christs sake.

 

We need more people like us!

 

I only have 1 girlfriend and she is getting annoying because she just got into the whole party scene. She likes rap music and drinking and she thinks i'm a nerd for watching anime and knowing about the japanese culture...

[Ross MwcFan]

I also find it very hard to make female friends, or to connect with females on any level, but I've always made friends with guys really easily. I've got no idea why this is.

 

The only difference with me is that I'm a guy myself.

[Rinnix]

@ DreamerGirl27 I'm not really a church person. I did have some friends who were more religious then me and we didn't connect very well.

 

Is there anywhere else to meet people besides the normal college/uni option as well?

 

I am happy with the friends I have now, but most are busy, so Id like to expand a bit.

 

 

@thespiff Come over here and we'll hang out !

 

 

It's not that I have a problem with females, I actually want more girl friends. I can't have girls night with guys, and most of them don't like to shop. I can't put streaks in my hair with the guys.

 

I just want to find some girls who share the same interests as me. I wouldn't be opposed to a drink on the random occasion, but I don't want to be friends who make it a constant social thing. I do have some girly hobbies, but I just don't want to be in the party scene, it's not for me.

 

I have one guy friend who is strickly a friend. He is engaged and there is no interest on either side. (at least none on my part). But most of the other guys end up wanting more, and then I have to cut contact because I am in a longterm relationship with my boyfriend (5 years together).

 

I don't like to add drama to my life, I try to avoid it.

[Rinnix]

I also find it very hard to make female friends, or to connect with females on any level, but I've always made friends with guys really easily. I've got no idea why this is.

 

The only difference with me is that I'm a guy myself.

 

Connecting with people in general is hard lately. At least you can make some good male friends.

 

Im hoping I can make same gender friends just as easily as you!

[Ross MwcFan]

Connecting with people in general is hard lately. At least you can make some good male friends.

 

Im hoping I can make same gender friends just as easily as you!

 

I've been thinking maybe this is why I find it hard getting a girlfriend, because I don't easily make friends/connect with girls.

[Flgirl44]

I am in that age range, love me some COD, and am actively looking for female friends! This thread is giving me hope haha

[Rinnix]

Setting an age limit on friendship because who are they kidding? You would never date someone that age so why would you even think of befriending them? Another good call.

 

: Lists a bunch of preferred introverted activities implying heavily they prevent her from enjoying anything social :

Don't worry. There is always more room at the hermitage.

 

I didn't list age ranges (don't see where its applied) Mentioned my age, not that I wouldn't befriend women in that range. Yes, I enjoy introverted activities but it doesn't mean I'm opposed to anything that is considered social.

 

But thanks for the input.

[Rinnix]

I am in that age range, love me some COD, and am actively looking for female friends! This thread is giving me hope haha

 

Lets be friends.

[milkmaterial]

i always seek female friendship but it just doesnt seem to work as i want it to.

 

 

i really dont like superficial girls. all talk about clothes or guys bores the crap out of me.

90% of the time i have to act differently because it just seems if you have more than what they have they wont like you. like, if im smarter, they will try to seek that out to prove that i am not. so i tend to act dumb.

 

one thing that really stuck to me that my guy friend said about guys and girls .."men bond, women compete". i dont ever wanna compete unless i have to. but this isnt the same for other girls. it just feels sometimes girls wanna one up each other.

[Rinnix]

You are speaking out of both sides of your mouth here. You complain there are no people in your age range to be friends with at your volunteer job clearly suggesting you do place limits then you turn around and say you wouldn't exclude them from the possibility of friendship. You need to make up your mind.

 

Then list what fun, social activities you are unopposed to and would actually join in on that others do in their free time.

 

The other volunteers are much older 60's and 40's. I don't think we share the same interests. I have nothing wrong with people older, but by there character we just don't match. I talk to them and get along but were not bffs.

 

I leave the house frequently, movies shopping, art museums, normal museums, camping, swimming, beaches, rollarblading.

 

I don't mind doing new things either. I just don't want the club scene.

[DreamerGirl27]

@ DreamerGirl27

I'm not really a church person.

 

well that could be your problem then.

[Ross MwcFan]

@ DreamerGirl27

 

well that could be your problem then.

 

Church isn't the only place to make friends. Stop trying to recruit people.

[Rinnix]

@ DreamerGirl27

 

well that could be your problem then.

 

Most of my friends also are not church going. But thanks anyway.

[Darren Taylor]

Being from French speaking Montreal, have you tried reaching out to the Anglophones(unless English is your first language)?

[nyc_guy2003]

I tend to do better with the opposite sex, friendship-wise, also. I don't have a lack of male friends but it is very easy for me to talk to and hang out with women. In fact at my previous firm I was only one of two men in the entire office and the other guy was gay, and I had no trouble fitting in from day 1. That being said I am also married and like to do "man" stuff like play sports, lift weights, get trashed on weekends, etc.

[Cee]

One of my closest women friends came through a fix up. A mutual male friend of ours was tired of us complaining about having no women friends. He gave her my email and a month later we met. It was love at first sight and now we spend a lot of time together.

 

I have another new woman friend, I met through the couch surfing organization which is a vibrant and social community. She is constantly introducing me to new women. I love her to death, but I worry about her self-destructive streak. I hope she grows out of it.

 

I'm so glad to have women friends again.

[Rinnix]

@Darren Taylor My first language is english, I don't really like speaking french unless I have to. It just isn't my preferred language.

 

@Cee

 

Nice of your friend to intorduce you two.

 

I have about 4-5 female friends, but as I mentioned they are always busy! I would love some more.

[Rinnix]

 

Guys looking for girls into the hobbies you like have a hard time finding anyone so you should focus more on the girly hobbies. What girly hobbies are they?

 

 

Girly: Shopping downtown, baking, gardening, anything to do with hair & makeup.

 

More proof the girls guys would want and particularly the ones they would really want are always unavailable. irl I would never even try to pursue a friendship with you since they are so one sided. The girls are the only ones who benefit while the guys twist in the wind. If anyone takes this as blame then they misunderstand. Somethings can't be helped or at least not that much.

I do like having male friends without it turning like that. But, it is rare. I often like to have male friends who are in serious relationships so that they don't get interest in me.

 

I can't comprehend introverts who are all sunshine and puppy dogs. I think they are a lie to make me feel bad. Seriously they are probably just extroverts in the closet.

 

I have never been a extrovert, I do wish I could have been though. My social skills are getting better though. Sunshine and rainbows

 

Do I really have to get into a big song and dance number like Pat Benatar to get through to you love is a battlefield?

 

You would have been beautiful even with the acne. Before orangelady throws aspersions on my statement I'll admit I have acne and it isn't so much a problem for me when seeing it on another. I get to see plenty of my own. Though it does make me quite self-conscious.

 

Acne on males = not too bad. It on females = disaster. Meh, my skin is great now so I can't complain. I now have compassion for those who suffer like I did though.

 

 

I have nothing to offer a friendship but snarky comments but I'm not looking for a friend. I too have difficulty finding people I can relate to.

Aw shame, I thought we could be great friends.

[thehead]

@Darren Taylor My first language is english, I don't really like speaking french unless I have to. It just isn't my preferred language.

 

@Cee

 

Nice of your friend to intorduce you two.

 

I have about 4-5 female friends, but as I mentioned they are always busy! I would love some more.

 

4-5 female friends is a good amount. Add to it your male friends and your S.O. and that's not a bad social circle.

[Dust]

I feel when girls make friends with guys it’s almost cheating. As rinix said most will probably hit on the girl, and there are going to be boundaries that would otherwise not exist with same sex friends.

 

Since you’re part of a couple maybe you could do things with another couple and make friends that way.

[DreamerGirl27]

I feel when girls make friends with guys it’s almost cheating. As rinix said most will probably hit on the girl, and there are going to be boundaries that would otherwise not exist with same sex friends.

 

Since you’re part of a couple maybe you could do things with another couple and make friends that way.

 

I agree with Dust.