Wife's Affair

[Truckguy]

I just recently found out that my wife had a two year affair with a married man. I am not sure how to deal with this. I confronted her with credit card statements and cell records. She would not really answer my questions so I kicked her out until she could be honest with me. She might even be prego because her belly has been growing lately. I don't know how I missed this. She was always angry and bitter. Then she became very happy and easy to deal with. Next, she got depressed, distant and cried quite a bit. I was never allowed near her phone that was password protected.

 

I know the MM's name, address and employment. I also have his wife's email address, employment and the phone number of one of her friends that called my wife. Would I be out of line by contacting the BS and asking her about the affair? I would like to compare notes and see if we could put all this together. Should I email her, call her friend or go see her? Or would I be opening a big can of worms? I feel like she needs to know the truth about the man she is really married too. I want to know all the details so I can make the right decision for my family. Please advise.

[whichwayisup]

Do call this mans wife, she needs to know the truth.

Call her, or email her, which ever one you're more comfortable with.

 

Sorry for your pain.

[John Michael Kane]

I just recently found out that my wife had a two year affair with a married man.

 

Disgusting is the appropriate word.

 

I am not sure how to deal with this. I confronted her with credit card statements and cell records. She would not really answer my questions so I kicked her out until she could be honest with me.

 

You're not sure how to deal with this woman yet you did the one thing most betrayed husbands are afraid to do: You threw her ass out. In my opinion, you have all of the evidence to your curious and rightly justified questions, but I understand the need to know details.

 

But someone who cheated and been in an affair with a married man for two years, which is an extensive time, you're definitely not going to get any honesty from that type of person. Unless you want to become a cuckold, I suggest keeping her at a distance, get your ducks in a row and file for divorce. Two years is a really long time of extramarital sex. I also highly recommend you getting your dick checked for STDs ASAP, dude.

 

She might even be prego because her belly has been growing lately.

 

Wow man. If she really is pregnant (and sadly there will be a high chance it's not yours:o) this is another reason why you need to protect yourself legally.

 

I don't know how I missed this.

 

Hey it's not your fault and it never will be. Cheaters are master manipulators and highly calculating liars who display narcissistic and psychopathic traits equivalent to those of professional killers.

 

Don't worry, later on in the future you'll look back on this toxic relationship and see so many signs that you missed you'll have a heart attack. Not entirely a pleasant experience.

 

She was always angry and bitter. Then she became very happy and easy to deal with. Next, she got depressed, distant and cried quite a bit. I was never allowed near her phone that was password protected.

 

So there was one clue. But that's fine. For most betrayed spouses it takes repetitive clues for them to start snooping.

 

I know the MM's name, address and employment. I also have his wife's email address, employment and the phone number of one of her friends that called my wife. Would I be out of line by contacting the BS and asking her about the affair? I would like to compare notes and see if we could put all this together.

 

Would you be out of line? You'd be doing a generous favor that could benefit the both of you. You'd be helping another betrayed spouse. However, that's up to you if you want to. Maybe you two could find out more about this mess if you wish.

 

Should I email her, call her friend or go see her? Or would I be opening a big can of worms? I feel like she needs to know the truth about the man she is really married too. I want to know all the details so I can make the right decision for my family. Please advise.

 

I say go for it. But I still stress that you must protect yourself from here on out. You just found out your wife has been cheating and lying to you for two years and if you hadn't found out, she would still be pissing on your marriage. That is someone who is certainly unremorseful and does not care about you or the marriage. If you have kids make sure they are in your care for now because your wife is unstable. Soon even you will be flooded with nearly disastrous emotions and you will need to control them so you can get out of this mess. Don't even bother talking to her. She has nothing important to say and she'll just continue lying to you and attempting to place blame on you for her sole choice to destroy your marriage. Eat, go to the gym and sleep well because you'll need it. So sorry this has happened to you.

[y2k]

I just recently found out that my wife had a two year affair with a married man. I am not sure how to deal with this. I confronted her with credit card statements and cell records. She would not really answer my questions so I kicked her out until she could be honest with me. She might even be prego because her belly has been growing lately. I don't know how I missed this. She was always angry and bitter. Then she became very happy and easy to deal with. Next, she got depressed, distant and cried quite a bit. I was never allowed near her phone that was password protected.

 

I know the MM's name, address and employment. I also have his wife's email address, employment and the phone number of one of her friends that called my wife. Would I be out of line by contacting the BS and asking her about the affair? I would like to compare notes and see if we could put all this together. Should I email her, call her friend or go see her? Or would I be opening a big can of worms? I feel like she needs to know the truth about the man she is really married too. I want to know all the details so I can make the right decision for my family. Please advise.

 

If anyone gets cheated on just ONCE, it's grounds for a divorce in my book. Your wife did it for two years. You shouldn't even think twice about Divorce. If she's dying to be with this guy, let her.

 

As for contacting the BS, I say do it and divorce your wife. Start thinking about the future. Start fresh. You may very well find another woman. Good luck!!!

[Truckguy]

[if she's dying to be with this guy, let her.

 

As for contacting the BS, I say do it and divorce your wife. Start thinking about the future. Start fresh. You may very well find another woman. Good luck!!!

 

I think he may have dropped her. Judging by all the crying she was doing for a month.

[John Michael Kane]

I think he may have dropped her. Judging by all the crying she was doing for a month.

 

This just shows how selfish she is. As if he was supposed to be faithful to her.

[y2k]

[if she's dying to be with this guy, let her.

 

As for contacting the BS, I say do it and divorce your wife. Start thinking about the future. Start fresh. You may very well find another woman. Good luck!!!

 

I think he may have dropped her. Judging by all the crying she was doing for a month.

 

It shouldn't be relevant to you. She cheated on you, leave her and get yourself another woman. Good luck.

[mark982]

truck guy, she made her bed. her problem, not yours!!! sure it's going to hurt like hell. she wil come at you with big croc tears. cheat once and you're done in my book. nnows the time to protect yourself. cancel all the crap in ur name that she has access to. cc cards, money in the bank, cell phone., you get the idea. i'm sorry for you, i truely am

[TMCM]

Cheaters remind me of Aesop's tale 'The Dog and Its Reflection'. In the story, a dog that is carrying a stolen bone, or piece of meat or cheese, looks down as it is crossing a stream and sees its own reflection in the water. Taking it for another dog carrying something better, it opens its mouth to bark at the "other" and in doing so drops what it was carrying.

 

Your STBXW has learned this lesson in spades.