You Are Beautiful

[orangelady]

 

I've always believed real love comes to us when we stop trying to find it and when we get real with who we are and love ourselves for what we do and who we are.

 

I thought that worked too but it doesn't. I have so many female friends who don't look for it, and are busy living their lives but after 10-20 years, they are still single.

 

That's what I mean by general sweeping statements and advice like that. It's not really the truth. But if you say "it'll be more helpful if you ignore it and give up looking for love." then I would say yes. But if you say "love WILL come to you when you stop finding it.." my experiences and reality with that does not match.

[HeartShineGirl]

But Serge Gainsbourgh, Barry White, Rasputin, and Joe Brand are all manage to have relationships and sex. Looks are a factor, but if you're going to trade in them as your main asset and you don't fit the local bill for good looks, you're playing yourself down.

 

 

I think people are a lot better looking than they give themselves credit for being, but when that is their main focus and they dwell on how not pretty they think they look then they spend too much energy on that and not enough energy on the substance of what makes them who they are.

 

I don't want to date a man who's constantly looking in the mirror and worrying about if he looks good enough for me, I want to date a man who looks at me when I am at my worst and says "Sweetheart, you're beautiful."

 

We need to stop worrying about how we look all of the time, and accept ourselves as we are and love ourselves, when that happens we will be able to love other people for who they are too.

[HeartShineGirl]

I thought that worked too but it doesn't. I have so many female friends who don't look for it, and are busy living their lives but after 10-20 years, they are still single.

 

That's what I mean by general sweeping statements and advice like that. It's not really the truth. But if you say "it'll be more helpful if you ignore it and give up looking for love." then I would say yes. But if you say "love WILL come to you when you stop finding it.." my experiences and reality with that does not match.

 

I guess to clarify what I was trying to say (though I did use a cliche) would be to say "When you learn to love yourself... you will be able to love others, and when you learn to love others, you will find yourself loved." I think that is what I basically believe. Often when people don't love themselves they do not know how to love or attract love. It's just impossible to if you don't love yourself first. What usually happens is you will repel love instead. That's so sad. But, so true.

[Dust]

HeartShineGirl is trying to motivate. It worked for me.

[orangelady]

I guess to clarify what I was trying to say (though I did use a cliche) would be to say "When you learn to love yourself... you will be able to love others, and when you learn to love others, you will find yourself loved." I think that is what I basically believe. Often when people don't love themselves they do not know how to love or attract love. It's just impossible to if you don't love yourself first. What usually happens is you will repel love instead. That's so sad. But, so true.

 

Sorry, although this might be true in some instances where people hurt others because they don't love themselves. I find that this is not true for my case. I seem to be able to love others more than I love myself. I can be very kind to others but hard on myself.

 

I don't think its right to accuse those who do not think they are pretty or beautiful to say that they don't know how to love others.

 

In fact, I know of a lot of girls who absolutely adore themselves - love how they look, very confident about themselves but treat people like thrash.

 

Just because someone doesn't like the way they look does not mean they cannot have loving relationships with others.

[OpenBook]

It's a sunny day outside and I can hear birdsong, the sound of the fishtank pump and the clock and the clickety clack of my fingers on the keyboard. I finish my well-paid permanent job in IT next Wednesday and will then embark on a month of exercise, then I will start to build up my self-employed business. I will move to the coast at the end of the summer. But now I think I'll have a nap.

 

And therein lies the answer. Especially the part about the nap. Well done!

[Eve]

Good thread HSG!

 

Could not agree more with everything you have said!

 

By and large, I reckon its all an awakening process.

 

Once a person gets to grips with the idea that they are beautiful the boundaries of what this means begins to widen.

 

I always look to Stephen Fry, who I utterly adore. He himself admits he is not good looking but I find his personality so gorgeous that you forget about his looks! He just looks like himself. I think this is admirable because it is profoundly simple. He would spoil himself he if tried to be some 'hot guy'. He is who he is.. and he is adorable! :love:

 

Personally I don't know anyone who is really fixated on their looks. It's usually a matter of wanting to be a better person in some way that counts.

 

Gok Wan (British designer person who I love) has taught me that it is always about working with what you have that counts!! Creating and adding mystery and playfulness within clothing adds to how one carries themselves. This is true beauty.

 

I think that people stuck in negativity lack gratitude and within this become blind to the development of an intrinsic focus whereby they will attack positivity in themselves and others. Negativity is the ugliest thing of all no matter how it is clothed.

 

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder! Thank goodness too! Most of us would be screwed if this were not the case..

 

Except for me..

 

Take care,

Eve x

Edited May 11, 2011 by Eve

[Ross MwcFan]

You would look out for anyone who seems interested in you I guess. The very act of charming a person is magic.

 

I always try looking out for any women that seem interested in me, but I never see anything.

[Ross MwcFan]

Double post.