You Are Beautiful

[starryeyed12]

I have no idea how I look.

 

Sometimes I can look in the mirror, and think I look great. But then if I look at a reflection of the reflection of myself in another mirror, so I'm seeing a flip image of myself (how other people would see me), my face suddenly looks distorted and I look awful.

 

Also, on photo's I can look like a totally different person from one photo to another. On some photo's I'll think I look very attractive, and on others I think I look really ugly and dweeby.

 

I've been told that I'm good looking, but I've also been told that I'm ugly.

 

I just wish I knew what to think.

 

Everyone looks different from photo to photo, especially in more candid shots. Some people have a "pose" that can look very similar from picture to picture, and some people even practice that in the mirror.

 

Photographs and mirrors can be very misleading. Especially photographs. Certain things just can't quite be captured by a 2 dimentional picture.

 

Things to remember about photographs:

 

1) Phots provide you with angles that are nigh-impossible for you to reproduce with mirrors. You are seeing yourself from angles and in lighting that don't exist anywhere else. It's completely understandable that you feel alienated from and foreign to this representation that is supposed to be you -- because you can't see it or reproduce it anywhere else where you can examine it and become familiar with it.

 

2. You make little "microexpressions" in between your smile and your turning to talk to Uncle Jerry; if you have an animated, lively face, candid photos especially will catch you at unappealing in-between expressions. The good news is, other people in real life don't see those in-between expressions. They process the video stream the same way you do when you're seeing it in the mirror. So the really bad photos are not representative of how you look to others. The mirror is closer.

 

Plus, the lighting of a lot of pictures is horrible. This accounts for bad coloration, exaggerated angles, flab lines, etc.

 

So, yes some people can look better in a picture or worse in a picture than they do in real life. From picture to picture.

 

Here's some tips on how to take better pictures if you're interested-

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Photogenic

 

 

Hope it helps!

[betterdeal]

If you add a red filter you'll end up with flawless skin. What people see in real life is the animated you. Your mannerisms, your facial reactions to things, to them, as well as your behaviour and what you say, are all part of the "picture" that people have of you.

 

There's a plethora of people asking themselves, "why do girls like bad boys / why do boys like bitches" in the world. The answer is, they don't. They like people who make them feel good, and someone who animates in response to things, who participates and expresses their feelings, and absorbs yours, "looks" better than someone who sits rigid and uncomfortable, trying to fit it in.

 

The best way to tone or build is muscle is regular exercise. The best way to get comfortable and at ease in a social setting is regular exposure to it. You take it to your edge each time, just to where it gets a little uncomfortable, and this stretches it for you. Before you know it, you'll have improved.

 

You visit a club and you scan the crowd, eyeball some pretty men/women, talk with the barman, listen to the music. You dance, you say hello to someone. You admire the way someone moves. You smile at them appreciatively when they catch you looking. You came here for a bit of entertainment. Nothing heavy.

 

It *might* be a disaster. You might be laughed at. You might make a tit of yourself. But then the next day when you're in the newsagent you'll think nothing of chatting to the pretty girl behind the counter because it's so much easier than the club. And she'll think you're a good looking guy / dirty old man, because you have become animate and an active participant. And she may think both, and she'd be right. So long as you don't impose on anyone and you don't let anyone impose on you (emotionally), life is good.

 

And when you get all that under your belt, you'll be happier, more self-confident, and your inner beauty will become part of your outer image.

 

I am a bit of a potato face. Covered in pockmarks and deep red rosacea. But I am also gregarious, non-judgmental, I make puns and am very animate on a good day. I also enjoy other people's company. This is what people like, men and women. And there's plenty of women out there who prefer a friendly, animated, silly but respectful man over a dour faced catalogue model.

 

And, funnily enough, the more liberated they are, the more they tend to look for character not pretty faces, because they really have seen it all, and a good looking lover doesn't make you laugh, smile, feel tender and lovely, per se.

 

So, basically, do things that make you happy, don't do things that make you unhappy, and be interested and interesting, and you can be ugly as sin or twice as fun, or you can consider the fact that pretty people are only pretty because we're ugly (it's relative) and you get on with life. Sometimes girls are horrible and annoying, and sometimes they're not, and sometimes we're in the mood for them and sometimes we're not.

 

It's all about getting out there and getting involved. If pubs and clubs aren't your scene, join St John's Ambulance and become a first aider. Great fun and satisfaction in itself and a way to meet people.

 

Half the time, I think what most of us men need to do is develop our periphery vision so that whilst we're tinkering with an engine or watching a match or manning the first aid tent at a Gymkhana, we notice the other things that are going on around us and pick up on the non-verbal cues to participate.

Edited May 10, 2011 by betterdeal

[HeartShineGirl]

Oooo I'm gonna get some virgin coconut oil! My skin is dry as a bone. But since my H doesn't love me anymore and we are splitting up, I'm also getting a little laser treatment done on my face....

 

What kind of laser treatment? Also, will you do before and after photos. I would love to see the results, as I have often contemplated such things.

[Datura]

This thread is laughable. It starts with "beauty is on the inside," "Look in the mirror, and tell yourself you're beautiful," then degenerates into critiquing another poster based on his avatar. Oh brother.

 

when a person is in love with someone it doesn't matter what that person looks like on the outside, it honestly doesn't, because more often than not they fell in love with what was inside anyways.

 

Yes it does matter, most honest people will agree - looks play a role. Physical attraction is where it begins, and personality adds on to that attraction.

[HeartShineGirl]

If you add a red filter you'll end up with flawless skin. What people see in real life is the animated you. Your mannerisms, your facial reactions to things, to them, as well as your behaviour and what you say, are all part of the "picture" that people have of you.

 

There's a plethora of people asking themselves, "why do girls like bad boys / why do boys like bitches" in the world. The answer is, they don't. They like people who make them feel good, and someone who animates in response to things, who participates and expresses their feelings, and absorbs yours, "looks" better than someone who sits rigid and uncomfortable, trying to fit it in.

 

The best way to tone or build is muscle is regular exercise. The best way to get comfortable and at ease in a social setting is regular exposure to it. You take it to your edge each time, just to where it gets a little uncomfortable, and this stretches it for you. Before you know it, you'll have improved.

 

You visit a club and you scan the crowd, eyeball some pretty men/women, talk with the barman, listen to the music. You dance, you say hello to someone. You admire the way someone moves. You smile at them appreciatively when they catch you looking. You came here for a bit of entertainment. Nothing heavy.

 

It *might* be a disaster. You might be laughed at. You might make a tit of yourself. But then the next day when you're in the newsagent you'll think nothing of chatting to the pretty girl behind the counter because it's so much easier than the club. And she'll think you're a good looking guy / dirty old man, because you have become animate and an active participant. And she may think both, and she'd be right. So long as you don't impose on anyone and you don't let anyone impose on you (emotionally), life is good.

 

And when you get all that under your belt, you'll be happier, more self-confident, and your inner beauty will become part of your outer image.

 

I am a bit of a potato face. Covered in pockmarks and deep red rosacea. But I am also gregarious, non-judgmental, I make puns and am very animate on a good day. I also enjoy other people's company. This is what people like, men and women. And there's plenty of women out there who prefer a friendly, animated, silly but respectful man over a dour faced catalogue model.

 

And, funnily enough, the more liberated they are, the more they tend to look for character not pretty faces, because they really have seen it all, and a good looking lover doesn't make you laugh, smile, feel tender and lovely, per se.

 

So, basically, do things that make you happy, don't do things that make you unhappy, and be interested and interesting, and you can be ugly as sin or twice as fun, or you can consider the fact that pretty people are only pretty because we're ugly (it's relative) and you get on with life. Sometimes girls are horrible and annoying, and sometimes they're not, and sometimes we're in the mood for them and sometimes we're not.

 

It's all about getting out there and getting involved. If pubs and clubs aren't your scene, join St John's Ambulance and become a first aider. Great fun and satisfaction in itself and a way to meet people.

 

Half the time, I think what most of us men need to do is develop our periphery vision so that whilst we're tinkering with an engine or watching a match or manning the first aid tent at a Gymkhana, we notice the other things that are going on around us and pick up on the non-verbal cues to participate.

 

Loved your post!

 

I am in total agreement on what you said about women wanting a man who is fun over a model. That is so true.

 

I personally have found that love is not found in a pretty face alone. You can fall in love with the looks but after a time, the relationship is very lacking because you didn't fall in love with the person inside that shell. On the other hand, if you fall in love with a person for who they are, then no matter what they look like to everyone else on the outside you will see only "beautiful" in your eyes.

 

I really enjoyed your post. Thank you... and thank you for being so motivational.

[HeartShineGirl]

This thread is laughable. It starts with "beauty is on the inside," "Look in the mirror, and tell yourself you're beautiful," then degenerates into critiquing another poster based on his avatar. Oh brother.

 

 

 

Yes it does matter, most honest people will agree - looks play a role. Physical attraction is where it begins, and personality adds on to that attraction.

 

Those that agree with what you have said are people who that is true for. Not all people however are "visual". I for one do not go for looks, never have. I have always been attracted to "voices" so I guess I am attracted to the way things/people sound. However, there are people who are very visual and yes, those people DO need someone to look good in order to love them. Thank goodness not everyone is that way. Some of us go for "Substance" (ie; personality, intelligence, worldliness, etc).

 

I'm not trying to say you are completely wrong. You are right about how YOU and some others feel. But you cannot speak for everyone.

 

If it was true what you say then people who have facial abnormalities or deformities would never find love. Thankfully that's not the case.

[Dust]

I haven't chosen to, it just happened that way.

 

It's anger and frustruaton from not being able to get what I want. Constant rejection has simply led me to believe that I'm just not attractive.

 

Throw in a little self-hate, and there you go.

You barely tried. You said you weren’t even going to try until the summer semester started so zero rejection to worry about till then. Seriously, look in the mirror and say good stuff about yourself. You know you like the way you look so don’t base your worth on whether or not some 21 year old chick goes out with you.

[HeartShineGirl]

This thread is laughable. It starts with "beauty is on the inside," "Look in the mirror, and tell yourself you're beautiful," then degenerates into critiquing another poster based on his avatar. Oh brother.

 

 

 

Yes it does matter, most honest people will agree - looks play a role. Physical attraction is where it begins, and personality adds on to that attraction.

 

Datura,

 

I don't know what it is about you but I read your comment and immediately felt that you were the type of person who would be mostly negative and reject most of what is written in these forums, either giving advice to people in a negative manner, or criticizing people for their posts. I went through your posts to look at how they all began and found a trend that proved I was correct, thus I have to ask what is wrong with you? Do you come here to be critical to everyone and negative because you enjoy that? Maybe there is nothing wrong with that, and you are who you are, but don't you ever try to say things that are motivating or do you just always remain critical when you comment? I don't understand that. To me, being that way, or rather having that kind of attitude is so negative and I just could never be that way. But since you are so very different from me and the kinds of posts I write and thus you wrote that "The secret" comment to put me down I just had to ask if you ever smile at all?

 

So,...do you EVER have anything nice to say?

 

~Heart

Edited May 10, 2011 by HeartShineGirl

[HeartShineGirl]

....Seriously, look in the mirror and say good stuff about yourself. You know you like the way you look so don’t base your worth on whether or not some 21 year old chick goes out with you.

 

I agree.

 

 

 

I like your avatar Dust.

[Datura]

Those that agree with what you have said are people who that is true for. Not all people however are "visual".

 

You don't like absolutes, maybe you shouldn't use them either. "Visual" is only part of the equation.

 

I for one do not go for looks, never have.

Really?:

 

When I look at your photo I am immediately drawn to the endearing quality of your lower face. I mean your chin, lips and smile. I see lovely features there. I am not drawn to your hairstyle, or hair color (though It's not to say that it's not perfectly fine, it's just I prefer longer hair on men and curly dark hair the best - imagine Antonio Banderas) okay so I am not drawn to that part of you.

However, there are people who are very visual and yes, those people DO need someone to look good in order to love them. Thank goodness not everyone is that way. Some of us go for "Substance" (ie; personality, intelligence, worldliness, etc).

Read again:

Physical attraction is where it begins, and personality adds on to that attraction.

 

 

If it was true what you say then people who have facial abnormalities or deformities would never find love. Thankfully that's not the case.

Fair enough.

 

Datura,

 

I don't know what it is about you but I read your comment and immediately felt that you were the type of person who would be mostly negative and reject most of what is written in these forums,

 

~Heart

 

Your quick to judge assertions are only a poor reflection on you. Next time you may want to run a quick search on those who point out the errors of your ways, rather than having a knee-jerk ego-filled reaction (the rest of which I haven't read beyond the above quote). It's very unbecoming and is tainting your shining, elegant, and refined inner beauty.

 

Fallacies don't interest me.

Edited May 10, 2011 by Datura

[betterdeal]

Loved your post!

 

I am in total agreement on what you said about women wanting a man who is fun over a model. That is so true.

 

I personally have found that love is not found in a pretty face alone. You can fall in love with the looks but after a time, the relationship is very lacking because you didn't fall in love with the person inside that shell. On the other hand, if you fall in love with a person for who they are, then no matter what they look like to everyone else on the outside you will see only "beautiful" in your eyes.

 

I really enjoyed your post. Thank you... and thank you for being so motivational.

 

You're welcome! To me, I'm half talking to myself, and I think we probably all are. It's a positive reinforcement of ideas. I believe it because I hear it and I say it because I believe it. When I re-read it and feel good about it, I feel my beliefs stand up to my scrutiny. If new facts come to light that don't accord with my beliefs, I question my beliefs. If they need changing, I go through the same process, saying, hearing, saying, hearing and that's how we develop beliefs.

 

I've been involved with absolute stunners, women with third degree burns on their faces, white, black, asian, old and young, rich and poor, posh and common, married, widowed, single. I am good friends with several and arch-enemies with one or two. I've been hurt and I've hurt others. I've had amazing sex and terrible sex. I've saved a life and nearly killed myself. I've drunk-driven, drug-driven, lied, cheated and stolen. I've been around the world and in a mental health ward. And as I get older, as I learn new ways to deal with things that used to really upset me, I have gotten happier, less needy, less reckless, less desperate to feel a rush and less angry, less hurt and less hurtful.

 

It's a sunny day outside and I can hear birdsong, the sound of the fishtank pump and the clock and the clickety clack of my fingers on the keyboard. I finish my well-paid permanent job in IT next Wednesday and will then embark on a month of exercise, then I will start to build up my self-employed business. I will move to the coast at the end of the summer. But now I think I'll have a nap.

 

Life is good.

[betterdeal]

Fallacies don't interest me.

 

Yes they do. Otherwise you would not question them.

[HeartShineGirl]

You don't like absolutes, maybe you shouldn't use them either. "Visual" is only part of the equation.

 

Really?:

 

Read again:

 

 

 

Fair enough.

 

 

 

Your quick to judge assertions are only a poor reflection on you. Next time you may want to run a quick search on those who point out the errors of your ways, rather than having a knee-jerk ego-filled reaction (the rest of which I haven't read beyond the above quote). It's very unbecoming and is tainting your shining, elegant, and refined inner beauty.

 

Fallacies don't interest me.

 

 

I wasn't trying to be a knee-jerk type... I am really (or does it not show) curious person?

 

I just want to know what makes you the way you are is all. I'm also no where near perfect in any way, as you so nicely pointed out.

 

I love my flaws anyhow. I don't mind when people tell me I'm wrong, or try best as they can to correct me or even misunderstand what I am saying and try to put it back in my face. I honestly don't mind it at all. I've lived with many such incidences my whole life.

 

Thus, you can insult me, you can criticize me, but at least once I will wonder about why you do it, and ask.

 

I just don't understand the urge to go to a forums for love and pick people apart. That's what it looks like you do.

 

Am I wrong?

[HeartShineGirl]

Yes they do. Otherwise you would not question them.

 

 

I just love how he/she (Datura) judges people, criticizes and belittles people. I just don't get it! I mean, it's an art form. He/she is so good at it. I just keep wondering "What does he/she get out of this?" Does it make him/her feel superior or what? I am fascinated.

 

The worst part of it all is that I just love everyone and want to make friends with all the people I meet, or who come into contact with me. Bad or good. I am usually quite curious.

 

I think I come off really bad though. I don't know... I just be me.

 

I (like you) love to motivate and do the self-reflection. I don't honestly understand how when a person is meaning well someone like him/her can come along and just bash it.

 

I feel so filled with wonderment about it, honestly. That is the weaker side of me that says "Wow, he/she didn't just say that, did he/she?"

 

Then I get like a little kid and wonder "What's up with this person?"

 

He/she is obviously better than me. At least that's the opinion being given to me.

 

Um, oh well! Haha.

 

I will continue with my "Fallacy" as he/she calls it.... because I know my words are helping some people and I love to help people.

 

P.S. It's hard to talk about someone when you don't know if it's a man or a woman... so annoying I know- I'm sorry.

Edited May 10, 2011 by HeartShineGirl

[HeartShineGirl]

 

 

Your quick to judge assertions are only (1) a poor reflection on you. Next time you may want to run a quick search on those who point out the errors of your ways, rather than (2) having a knee-jerk ego-filled reaction (the rest of which I haven't read beyond the above quote). (3) It's very unbecoming and is tainting your shining, elegant, and refined inner beauty.

 

 

1) You're probably right- but I did go through a bunch of your posts and you were negative in all of them- maybe that's quick to judge but I didn't need a whole lot of proof after the first 4 insults. And, by the way you continue to insult me even now. Just pointing it out.

 

2) What? I'm not allowed to ask "What's up your butt?" haha come on now.

 

3) That's quite condescending but I'm not surprised from you. It seems your MO, err.. (Modus Operandi)

Edited May 10, 2011 by HeartShineGirl

[HeartShineGirl]

Yes they do. Otherwise you would not question them.

 

 

So, are you saying he's actually admitted/committed a fallacy himself?

 

Ironic.

Edited May 10, 2011 by HeartShineGirl

[pureinheart]

Hi HSG...this is a wonderful thread, and very encouraging:).

 

I try to take special care of inside and out...and have found that when the inside is glowing the outside follows suit. Concerning your normal person, and I'm not speaking of the superficial, the majority will go for personality and heart everytime!

 

((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) to all:D

[Ross MwcFan]

You are a lot like me. You have some very genuinely nice features to look at, and thus you can see those features accentuated in some poses in photos and love those photos. On the flip side you have some features that are just sorta "okay" and in your eyes especially you will be critical of those. They're not "ugly" but because our eyes are looking for the "best" in ourselves when we look at ourselves (as we are hypercritical of our own faces) then we will criticize or be critical of what we see.

 

I personally know that I am just average, however you wanna say it, I am not a super model though I have a lot of attractive features that "other people" admire when they see me, thus I sort of cast a spell on them with those features and it is that "casting of magic" that we do when we "charm" others with our good looks.

 

Look at how we feel when we look at the most beautiful super models in the world. It's like we are instantly buzzing because of their beauty, just like a magical spell put on us, and we are like "WOW" right?

 

That is the magic that is happening when a person has their features so in proportion our minds tingle with excitement at what we see and admire.

 

Okay so we have (you and I) some features which other people like and will attract others. By the way a lot of people have such features. Ever see a person who you would not find attractive whatsoever talk to you and you hear the most sexy voice you ever heard in your life and WHAMO you are hooked and interested in knowing her more? This is what I am trying to say.... there is always some "things" about us people like.

 

So, remember that when you look at a photo of you that you don't like. You are seeing the things you don't like about yourself since the features you do like are not showing through, and the features could be anything you chose.

 

When I look at your photo I am immediately drawn to the endearing quality of your lower face. I mean your chin, lips and smile. I see lovely features there. I am not drawn to your hairstyle, or hair color (though It's not to say that it's not perfectly fine, it's just I prefer longer hair on men and curly dark hair the best - imagine Antonio Banderas) okay so I am not drawn to that part of you.

 

But, someone else might be.

 

Let me tell you about me.

 

I do not have flawless skin, and I do not have perfectly balanced features. My eyes are not very big and they are probably too close together and I wear glasses. My features might appear "Jewish" looking to some people. My neck tends to do like a double chin type look even if I am skinny. I have blue eyes that look green. I have a crooked jaw, it's slight but I notice it when I look at my face, and so did my orthodontist when I first got braces. I have an amazing smile. I also have a very sexy voice (thats what I am told- I don't hear it) . I have a tan, and I have long hair that is naturally wavy, it's a combination of light brown and bright blonde highlights, it's naturally 'dirty blonde" so the colors are multifaceted I guess you could say. I have a proportioned body and some people say I am pretty and some people say I am beautiful and some people have said "she's ugly" referring to me...so.... what do I care what they think? It's what I think that matters. It's do I love myself, and do I try my best to look good and I do feel comfortable in my own skin?

 

It doesn't matter if a lot of people tell me I'm beautiful, or if anyone tells me they think that I'm ugly. I know what I see when I look in the mirror and I see an average person who has a lot of flaws and also a lot of charming qualities. Of course I wish I was beautiful to everyone, don't we all... but I see a human with a big heart and that is what I know of myself. And, beauty is on the inside. Isn't it?

 

That's all that matters.... is how we feel, if we are happy and what the people who love us think.

 

Thanks for being honest.

 

I've never seen a woman I didn't find attractive, and then hear their voice and find them attractive. But I have seen women (only a couple of times), that looked quite nice, and I've thought I would like to have sex with them. But then when I heard their voice, which sounded quite deep and masculine, it made me do a 360 and the idea of having sex with them didn't seem appealing at all.

 

I've got no idea if I have cast a magic spell on anyone with my looks in real life. Is there anything I should look out for?

[Ross MwcFan]

Ignore the trolls, HSG.

[orangelady]

I can think of a bunch of actors right off the top who I do not find attractive in the least.

 

Hi, I can see that you are trying to help those with low self esteem to think better of themselves. And I appreciate that. But let me help you with why some of us fail at it. For example, you compare ugly men to actors who are ugly. But actors are famous, successful and rich. So ugliness is not an issue for them.

 

But, lets stick with people we know. Do you know any men that are happily married that are not exactly “beautiful” to look at? I'm sure we all know a lot of them, because the truth of the matter is, only a very small percentage of people are actually “perfect” or what we would consider “beautiful”. Go to the market and start looking around at all the people you see together, or go to the mall. Look at how many of those men are actually really handsome. I bet you will see a lot of not so handsome,

 

This depends on where you live. For example, where I live, girls are naturally slender. And men are thin. We do not have an 'obesity' problem because of the type of diet that we live on just doesn't make us fat or obese.

 

So you can't really find many 'fat' people here. There are some, but few. Also for example, if you're living in urban areas, city-like, most of the folks take really good care of themselves. Even married women with kids look better than those who never had kids. But usually, they are rich and have that spending power to go to slimming centres, manicure, facial, hairdsalon, etc.

 

I just think that everyone on LS come from a different background, country and culture and you can't generalize that, "OK this is your problem, and you should do this and therefore your problem is solved."

 

 

What I am trying to get at is that you shouldn't be focused on your looks when it comes to wanting a relationship, nor should you view the world that way.

 

True, but this is also unrealistic. I have tried to think like this many times before, and of course it is good to, but when you keep getting rejected and rejected like somedude81 mentioned, reality wins. We keep thinking about looks because at the end of the day, that seems to matter the most in society. Especially when it comes to relationships, love and dating.

[betterdeal]

But Serge Gainsbourgh, Barry White, Rasputin, and Joe Brand are all manage to have relationships and sex. Looks are a factor, but if you're going to trade in them as your main asset and you don't fit the local bill for good looks, you're playing yourself down.

[HeartShineGirl]

Hi HSG...this is a wonderful thread, and very encouraging:).

 

I try to take special care of inside and out...and have found that when the inside is glowing the outside follows suit. Concerning your normal person, and I'm not speaking of the superficial, the majority will go for personality and heart everytime!

 

((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) to all:D

 

Awe thank you. It sure did start out as a peaceful nice thread, one where there is the hope of maybe helping someone... and glad you liked it. My intentions were good.

[HeartShineGirl]

Thanks for being honest.

 

I've never seen a woman I didn't find attractive, and then hear their voice and find them attractive. But I have seen women (only a couple of times), that looked quite nice, and I've thought I would like to have sex with them. But then when I heard their voice, which sounded quite deep and masculine, it made me do a 360 and the idea of having sex with them didn't seem appealing at all.

 

I've got no idea if I have cast a magic spell on anyone with my looks in real life. Is there anything I should look out for?

 

You would look out for anyone who seems interested in you I guess. The very act of charming a person is magic.

[HeartShineGirl]

Ignore the trolls, HSG.

 

Oh, is that what a troll is?

 

Darn them!

 

I'll just pat him on the head next time and smile.

[HeartShineGirl]

 

 

 

 

True, but this is also unrealistic. I have tried to think like this many times before, and of course it is good to, but when you keep getting rejected and rejected like somedude81 mentioned, reality wins. We keep thinking about looks because at the end of the day, that seems to matter the most in society. Especially when it comes to relationships, love and dating.

 

I guess it does depend on the reality we are living in. I have some friends who are highly educated people. They do not have "perfect" looks. Some of them are about as pretty as Albert Einstein. Yet, they are highly intelligent, not focused too much on "looks" and all happily in love.

 

The reality and the environment I suppose you are in does have an effect, but it is still true that looks are not the only thing that attracts people.

 

I have noticed people that are vain and really concerned about their looks find it more difficult to find love than people who don't mind going out of the house with their hair a mess and no makeup on.

 

The down to earth people who have natural beauty because of how they shine from the inside out tend to attract other "real" sincere people who are looking for love that is real and sincere.

 

A girl who wears high heels, starves herself, gets injections of botox and pays a lot of money to wear the best clothes and look the best will end up with love no doubt as she attracts people but will it actually be someone who loves her for "her" or someone who can afford to support her and have a pretty lady on his arm? Perhaps a man who has just as much of an ego as she does. I dunno, but is that really love?

 

I've always believed real love comes to us when we stop trying to find it and when we get real with who we are and love ourselves for what we do and who we are.