What_Next Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 drifter77 the human mind and our ability to retain memories is one of the most amazing things of our species in my opinion. It can be both a blessing and curse. Painful memories have put many a deck on therapists houses.... For me these memories are almost always present. Now I am less than a year away from my own D-day. I already notice a significant difference in their impact on me though. This has not happened by itself in a vacum though, I have decided to deal with them on my own. I have chosen to not let them effect me as much as they did initially. I am treating them no differently than other painful memores, such as the death of my father. I have little to no use for therapy, but for some it is the only way possible to get beyond it. I suggest you continue with it drifter as you have let them invade your mind for so long, this won't likely change on it's own without help. Link to post Share on other sites
HalfAlive22 Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 You need to do what you feel is best for you. Make your own opinion. But if you happen to stay with the cheater, then you must not complain when the pain that comes with it affects you. In my opinion, throwing him out is VERY RESPECTFUL for your family. My life got WAY BETTER when my mom threw out my abusive cheating dad. Seeing my mom happy made me a million times better. If you have daughters, it'll show them that she should never accept such abuse from a man (or from anyone for that matter). How would you like it if your daughter married a man who became as much as a cheater as your husband is??? I would hope she leaves and finds love elsewhere. If you have sons, you'll show them how being dishonest can hurt people. If your husband wants to be a father to his children, he can do it VERY WELL whether you're the love of his life, or another woman is. My father was thrown out of my house when I was 11. He's a great dad to me. He never stopped being a father. I just hope some women can get some self-esteem BUT.....this decision is yours. I just hoped to offer an opinion. I know it sounds a bit harsh, but it's reality. Good luck in what you choose. It's not all about "self esteem" I have pleanty and I stuck around for a while..can't make a judgement, everyone is different..but you can have an opionion your right. Link to post Share on other sites
HalfAlive22 Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 I wish i never started this thread if all i did was cause an argument. Unless your husband/wife has cheated no-one can possible understand the feelings i described at the beginning of my post.......... Totally gone off topic as well. Very poorly too and my husband is also my main carer so please don't judge me either as you don't know me. I'd like to to tell you it gets better that soon, but it does'nt. it's been almost 3 years and I think about the "ow" everyday, from the time I wake up..to some point in the day..to when I fell asleep. Now it has gotten a little better, and I'd like to say it does'nt go away just because you leave your spouse, by the time it did get better, I was ready to leave, but I still think about it..and it has nothing to do with self esteem..like some people think, and leaving does not make it just go away, hope you find some peace Link to post Share on other sites
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