Glove_slap Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 True or false? - Generally speaking of course. Link to post Share on other sites
PurpleReign Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 False. Never put all females in one category. Link to post Share on other sites
Strength of Heart Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 The gender comparisons on LS are all BS in my opinion, every person is different so who knows. Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 When they dump you? Yes. Link to post Share on other sites
nyckidd Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Def false. I had an ex dump me before for a whole slew of reasons. I begged for her back, gave her flowers, love letters etc. She blocked my calls, and changed her number. Started dating other guys, and at that point is when I said enough is enough. As much as I loved her I had to move on. Sure enough 6 months later she basically begged and begged and begged for me to come back to her. She would say how she wanted me back the whole time but that I pushed her away when I begged. By then it was too late and I was completley over her and about to start a great new relationship. So yes in my case, they do. Link to post Share on other sites
PowerOfOne Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 I've had a female dumper come back 3 times in 4 years. First time was about 6 months after, unfortunatly for her I'd moved on. So no, generalising that a female dumper will never come back is rubbish. Link to post Share on other sites
TooMuchPride Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 false...all depends on the relation**** Link to post Share on other sites
loverboy1984 Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 I hear that they dont but I too think you can generalize all of them. If they do love you they will be able to come back when the dust settles. Sure they will be distracted by the guys that come forth in their lives but soon they will see the difference between infatuation and love. Thats when they feel nostalgic. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kbme311 Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Women or 'females' are human beings - just like you. Human beings differ from each other, from individual to individual depending on culture, religion, education, upbringing etc So that is a very difficult question to answer. I am a 'female' and I have recently dumped my boyfriend but not because I didn't love my boyfriend or want to be with him. His behaviour and treatment of me was disrespectful and when I tried to talk to him about it he would either storm off or say "Of course I want us to work and will do anything to make that happen...blah blah blah" then carry on regardless. He left me no choice but to dump him. Do I look back? omg yes every day as I really miss him. I really tried and really wanted the relationship to work. If he came back and seriously wanted to make changes then I would take him back in a nano second but realistically speaking - he won't, so I'm forced to move on. Every relationship is different and not all 'females' act in the same way. We are not machine made automatons with the self same micro chip dictating our behaviour, no matter what you've heard. If my ex had cheated, no matter how much I liked him, I would not contemplate taking him back. So it really depends what happened, the length of your relationship and whether or not you have children and a bunch of other stuff personal to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Regardless male or female dumpers, when they decide to leave you for REAL, they leave you. Don't even think of whether they are coming back or not. Why wait around for someone when this very person doesn't want to be committed to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TheLoneSock Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Lol false, through and through. They almost always come back; and even the ones that don't still have the desire to, they just don't know how. In fact, in my experience, the only ones that don't come back are the ones I've dumped. For the most part anyway (exceptions to everything). Link to post Share on other sites
Kodo Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Women or 'females' are human beings - just like you. Human beings differ from each other, from individual to individual depending on culture, religion, education, upbringing etc So that is a very difficult question to answer. I am a 'female' and I have recently dumped my boyfriend but not because I didn't love my boyfriend or want to be with him. His behaviour and treatment of me was disrespectful and when I tried to talk to him about it he would either storm off or say "Of course I want us to work and will do anything to make that happen...blah blah blah" then carry on regardless. He left me no choice but to dump him. Do I look back? omg yes every day as I really miss him. I really tried and really wanted the relationship to work. If he came back and seriously wanted to make changes then I would take him back in a nano second but realistically speaking - he won't, so I'm forced to move on. Every relationship is different and not all 'females' act in the same way. We are not machine made automatons with the self same micro chip dictating our behaviour, no matter what you've heard. If my ex had cheated, no matter how much I liked him, I would not contemplate taking him back. So it really depends what happened, the length of your relationship and whether or not you have children and a bunch of other stuff personal to you. After reading this post and another ending with "and then you're dumped". I actually I wonder if you ARE my ex! Very similar situation, except I blame myself being too focused on studying and too complacent with her (since she lived with me). But I do have a question. Are you really forced to move on? You say you look back, are you waiting to see him change? Did you ever break up like this and try again (after a full break up)? Link to post Share on other sites
kbme311 Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 (edited) After reading this post and another ending with "and then you're dumped". I actually I wonder if you ARE my ex! Very similar situation, except I blame myself being too focused on studying and too complacent with her (since she lived with me). But I do have a question. Are you really forced to move on? You say you look back, are you waiting to see him change? Did you ever break up like this and try again (after a full break up)? No I'm not your ex. Are you really forced to move on? I tried really hard to make the relationship work. I laid out three dealbreakers. Things that were really bothering me that we couldn't function as a couple unless we got sorted. One of them was going out that I mentioned in another post. I was very clear that these were important to me. He didn't listen or care. You say you look back, are you waiting to see him change? He won't change. It's wishful thinking on my part to think that he would. I was pretty broken by the end of the relationship and thoroughly defeated. He kept insisting that everything was my fault and it had nothing to do with him and yadda yadda. That if I only stopped going on all the time everything would be ok. He just didn't want to put in the effort. As far as I'm concerned, if someone wants to be in a relationship with you, they will do everything they can to make it work. It's that simple. I just resigned myself to the fact that he didn't want to be with me. If he called me and said he wanted to talk about us I would meet him and listen to what he had to say, yes. I'm still single so I suppose I'm still open to the possibility that we could get back together. Again though, he didn't treat me very well...he was very disrespectful. He would have to make changes and stick to those changes for us to work. So yes, if he put in the effort and wanted to change I would take him back but he won't. He doesn't really want to and that's the bottom line. Therefore I'm forced to move on. Did you ever break up like this and try again (after a full break up)? To tell you the truth, I kind of realised that we weren't suitable a month after we started seeing each other. So I broke it off but I really liked him. So we got back together. I kind of hoped that if I threw everything I had at the relationship that I could make it work but it didn't. I wasn't getting my needs met. It was very one sided. He was amazingly selfish and egotistical. He still is. I'm very attracted to him though and he's very funny and can be very charming. He also has an attractive vulnerability and is disarmingly honest (when it suits him;) ) He's good fun to be around and has lots of energy. This is the kind of person I'm attracted to so it's very difficult to pull away from him as he pulls me to him like a magnet. We've barely spoken since the break up mainly because we were both furious with each other. We couldn't have a civil conversation. We exchanged heated texts as I wouldn't talk to him. I was so angry and hurt and frustrated and he was livid. We only talked since the break up for the first time last week. So it's taken over two months to break the ice and we're back at being angry again. Well he is, I'm just hurt and upset and not getting why he's contacting me when he didn't make the effort when I tried to keep the relationship together. I kind of thought that he forced me to dump him as he was too much of a coward and didn't want to take responsibility for his behaviour. In that case though, why is he trying to talk to me? I dunno. I'm better off cutting my losses and moving on. If we tried again I think I would take it very very slowly. It would be difficult to regain trust and things would be hard as there is frustration and anger on both sides. I would want to see if he really had changed or wanted to change and wasn't just saying it because he was very good at telling me what I wanted to hear and not actually doing it. His main problem was indolence. If you wanted to get back together with your girlfriend you would probably have to take it very slowly. Make a lot of effort and maintain that effort. It depends how much you want the relationship to work. It also helps to concentrate on the important stuff and put the smaller stuff to one side - that's called compromise. Honest communication is essential and a willingness on both sides to make it work and make the relationship a priority. Edited May 8, 2011 by kbme311 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 They do when they sense that you have finally moved on for real. Link to post Share on other sites
Am4Real Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Even if they do "show up" it doesn't mean they REALLY want it back! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Flgirl44 Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Generally speaking I do not look back. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Hard to say. Each relationship is different. But normally, a lot of women check out of a relationship long before they end it. That's why it seems that they move on more easliy afterward. What they can't seem to wrap their heads around is "why can't we be friends?" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2011 Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Well in my case it is most definitely true but overall I do not see a pattern where less females don't re initiate contact in fact if anything it seems to me to be the opposite from a lot of posts I have read. 2011 Link to post Share on other sites
Am4Real Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 There are too many variables within a relationship and the eventual problems causing a parting to give a one-rule-fits-all response. I believe relationships of length, perhaps those greater than two years, where both persons know each other very well may provide a greater chance of reinitialized contact rather than shorter dating periods. You might find partners who have initiated a break up from the former LT relationships will take time at some point to re-think their partners faults and compare them with new people they are meeting/dating. Often, the dumper finds him or herself dating new people where they've traded faults of the dumpee for more faults in a new person, thus making the dumpee appear worthy. That doesn't mean reuniting will make the old broken relationship work if revisited -- it's simply a comparison stage the dumper is going through. Again, I don't think there is a one-rule answer to this question. The notion of woman "checking out" before men is somewhat of a Wives Tale in the dating scene; just as many men "check out" or lose complete interest and without taking a statistical driven poll I chalk it up to folklore. Link to post Share on other sites
simplethings Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 My experience, they won't come back. I just kicked my ex out. There is no way I will let him come back. It takes a lot though for me to get to that point. He was disrespectful, a slob and a drunk. I did not kick him out because I did not love him, but I have to love myself and his contributions to the relationship did not carry their weight. Link to post Share on other sites
ramathorne Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 You might find partners who have initiated a break up from the former LT relationships will take time at some point to re-think their partners faults and compare them with new people they are meeting/dating. Often, the dumper finds him or herself dating new people where they've traded faults of the dumpee for more faults in a new person, thus making the dumpee appear worthy. That doesn't mean reuniting will make the old broken relationship work if revisited -- it's simply a comparison stage the dumper is going through. . Very well worded, I never really thought about it like this. This is what it seems to me like my ex of 3 yrs is doing! Treated her like a princess, giving her everything that she ever wanted, and then she dumps me so she can go party and hang out with douchebags. Link to post Share on other sites
JasonRules Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 For my part all the women I've had serious LTR (over 3 months) with came back, even the ones that ended it. So long as their is no abuse or cheating and you've treated them well and they had genuine feelings for you, then chances are you will hear back from them. The problem with many women is that they suffer from GIGS much more often than men because most will base their actions on their emotional state rather than logic. So a woman might experience a "high" with a new guy and end it with her boyfriend, but many times they will regret it 3-6 months down the road because they made out the new guy to be much more than what he really was. Women tend to be more sentimental than men as well so time passing by actually works in your favor so long as you are maintaining NC. Link to post Share on other sites
ramathorne Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 Jason- Your insight on these situations is great. I've been lurking for about a month now and started a thread titled "Dumped by GF of 3 Years". If you have the time, would you mind checking it out and letting me know what you think? I enjoy your no BS approach to dealing with this stuff. To the OP, sorry for thread jackin! Link to post Share on other sites
JasonRules Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 Jason- Your insight on these situations is great. I've been lurking for about a month now and started a thread titled "Dumped by GF of 3 Years". If you have the time, would you mind checking it out and letting me know what you think? I enjoy your no BS approach to dealing with this stuff. To the OP, sorry for thread jackin! When I have time I will post what I think is a good strategy to attempt to get your ex back. Link to post Share on other sites
GaelicSoul Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 Hi JasonRules, Have you ever had an Ex Come back, even when they said "i love you but im not in love with you anymore?" Thanks GS Link to post Share on other sites
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