TooMuchPride Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 what do you do about self destructive thoughts? when you just sit and think about everything that happened all the lies you were told and piece them together and realize things you never saw before...when you start to see things like how the whole thing was planned and how you were cheated on and how your ex WANTED to hurt you . . . all of this based on assumption and when trying to explain it to someone else you sound crazy cause you have no proof...but inside your heart and head you know you're right or you think you know....today i started thinking and alot of things popped out to me...i really think my ex planned to hurt me because i rejected him last year...i think he planned to get me just to hurt me to fix his ego...and i had all the red flags and i never paid attention i saw it as determination not as revenge...and some of the closest people to me knew...people always tell me im paranoid...and im always told i think everyones out to get me but im serious.... i have a friend who dated my ex a while before me...when they dated me and this girl didn't talk we became friends over something that had nothing to do with him ...i do know when me and him started to date he told me that they hadn't spoken in months ...today she mentioned he messaged her....it disturbs me that its been almost 2 months nc with him and I and im still coping and he is over there breaking nc with a previous ex...makes me wonder if he was hung up on her all along...i feel like a rebound. & i feel like she knew all along what he was doing but didn't tell me... i am so broken right now. any insight? Link to post Share on other sites
giuliano-3 Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 I knew mine planned it for the two weeks before she left overseas. I could see it happening in slow motion almost. Looking back on this time was very hard for a while. I went through a very self destructive phase for almost three months solid. I did get to talk to her again after it all went down, but that only opened up a new pandora's box of emotion. I never felt like I got the answers I deserved. He may very well have done it to fix his ego, or at least salvage his ego. At the time my ex pulled her stunt I was doing great, excersizing all the time and looking healthier than ever before. She was not doing as well, sort of stuck in a rut. I think she did what she did when she did it because she knew it was the only way to come out "on top." She knew despite my fierce loyalty I was getting lots of attention and one day I would probably break up with her. So she got me before I could "get" her. It seems to happen alot. You'll never know if you were a rebound or not. You'll never know about this other girl's intentions, more than likely. You have to sort it out the best you can with what you've got. You are in a tough stage of dealing with it right now. It will take time (despite sounding cheesy its very true). Its taken me a year to get to where I am right now, and I'm not even totally over it all completely. Every person and every situation is different. Do not beat yourself up (says the guy who beat himself up for way too long). Figure something out to take your mind off of him. There is no easy answer. It will suck. It will hurt. It will take time. It is worth it, one day the pain will be lessened considerably. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TooMuchPride Posted May 8, 2011 Author Share Posted May 8, 2011 I knew mine planned it for the two weeks before she left overseas. I could see it happening in slow motion almost. Looking back on this time was very hard for a while. I went through a very self destructive phase for almost three months solid. I did get to talk to her again after it all went down, but that only opened up a new pandora's box of emotion. I never felt like I got the answers I deserved. He may very well have done it to fix his ego, or at least salvage his ego. At the time my ex pulled her stunt I was doing great, excersizing all the time and looking healthier than ever before. She was not doing as well, sort of stuck in a rut. I think she did what she did when she did it because she knew it was the only way to come out "on top." She knew despite my fierce loyalty I was getting lots of attention and one day I would probably break up with her. So she got me before I could "get" her. It seems to happen alot. You'll never know if you were a rebound or not. You'll never know about this other girl's intentions, more than likely. You have to sort it out the best you can with what you've got. You are in a tough stage of dealing with it right now. It will take time (despite sounding cheesy its very true). Its taken me a year to get to where I am right now, and I'm not even totally over it all completely. Every person and every situation is different. Do not beat yourself up (says the guy who beat himself up for way too long). Figure something out to take your mind off of him. There is no easy answer. It will suck. It will hurt. It will take time. It is worth it, one day the pain will be lessened considerably. this was quite helpful to read , thanks alot Link to post Share on other sites
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