Quick question

[Paulie]

I'm coping rather well with my breakup. I will never talk to her again, after what she did to me. Although I realize she's not the girl for me, AT ONE TIME, I did think that. So I really, really miss this girl, and hurt not for the way she turned out to be, but for the girl that I once "knew." Even if you detest what a person did to you, and on principle, won't call them, is it normal to really, really miss someone terribly? Also, how does one overcome the pain of missing them without actually contacting them. I know how important it is not to contact her, but I have to deal with the fact that I really miss her terribly. And Tony, you're gonna say "live in the present"...and all that Buddhist stuff, which I wholeheartedly agree with. But there's something to be said for 1. In the present, I miss her NOW

 

2.My patterns of living have become adjusted to having her there, and to an extent, revolved around her

 

So now that she's not here, requires that in the present, I have to think about how I'm gonna conduct my life without her...which naturally creates some degree of looking back-edness I, for once, am, standing tall, and will always be conscious to never reveal too much weakness to a woman.

 

But why do I miss someone so terribly who is so wrong for me, and treated me so poorly?

[Paulie]

I also want to thank the members of this site for all your thoughtfull advice. Never overlook an opportunity to show your appreciation. As many supportive friends and family as I have, The members of this site have been among the most helpful. Come to my town, I'll treat you to a beer!

 

[Dragonflys]

Paulie

 

I have your same problem.

 

I miss my ex, but it is not so bad because I am ceasing all emotional contact with her. I only talk to her about work related problems.

 

I also try my very best to cease thinking about the past, and think more about the future, my future. The more you think about the future and plan to do different things to what you were doing with her, the less the past sits in the front of your mind.

 

But you will always have moments of reflection creep up on you.

 

Oliver

I'm coping rather well with my breakup. I will never talk to her again, after what she did to me. Although I realize she's not the girl for me, AT ONE TIME, I did think that. So I really, really miss this girl, and hurt not for the way she turned out to be, but for the girl that I once "knew." Even if you detest what a person did to you, and on principle, won't call them, is it normal to really, really miss someone terribly? Also, how does one overcome the pain of missing them without actually contacting them. I know how important it is not to contact her, but I have to deal with the fact that I really miss her terribly. And Tony, you're gonna say "live in the present"...and all that Buddhist stuff, which I wholeheartedly agree with. But there's something to be said for 1. In the present, I miss her NOW 2.My patterns of living have become adjusted to having her there, and to an extent, revolved around her So now that she's not here, requires that in the present, I have to think about how I'm gonna conduct my life without her...which naturally creates some degree of looking back-edness I, for once, am, standing tall, and will always be conscious to never reveal too much weakness to a woman. But why do I miss someone so terribly who is so wrong for me, and treated me so poorly?

[Tony T]

You mourn for what could have been had she been the RIGHT person for you. But she wasn't the right person. And you mourn because she wasn't. And you mourn because the great feelings you had when you thought she was the RIGHT person aren't there any more. But when you get really pissed at her, at YOU WILL GET REALLY PISSED I PROMISE, you will no longer mourn any of this. It just takes time.

 

Love knows not its own depth, except in the hour of parting.

 

Peace!!!