jacksonBrown Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 hey guys ive read a few different oppinions on this just want to know if anyone has had success from agreeing with the breakup then applying the NO Contact rule i'm not sure weather i should write her a quick hand written letter agreeing with the breakup and telling her we'd be better off as friends or if i should just apply no contact, ive herd writting the letter is a good idea and also a bad one, any thorts? Link to post Share on other sites
LostInTurn Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 hey guys ive read a few different oppinions on this just want to know if anyone has had success from agreeing with the breakup then applying the NO Contact rule i'm not sure weather i should write her a quick hand written letter agreeing with the breakup and telling her we'd be better off as friends or if i should just apply no contact, ive herd writting the letter is a good idea and also a bad one, any thorts? I recommend just going NC. Don't write a letter, shows you put effort in and that prolongs the situation. You don't owe anyone an explanation. Just disappear, you'll be happy you did. Also, go NC and live. Don't sit around, go NC and be you. Link to post Share on other sites
Graceful Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 No letters. Don't put a thing in writing. Makes you look lame. If you are still in discussion mode, or have loose ends to tie up, then definitely agree with the breakup verbally. That's absolute. If you feel the need to write a letter, write it and toss it. Just make sure you don't send it under any circumstances. Silence is the loudest message you can send. Go NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jacksonBrown Posted May 9, 2011 Author Share Posted May 9, 2011 i was thinking the same thing, it was a mutual break up about a week ago since then tho i made it clear to her i wanted to get back together and she regected me i didn't exactly beg but it came pretty close, thats why i thort writting the note would be a good idea just to let her know that i'm fine with the break up now and that it was a good idea, i've been reading some stuff from T W jackson who thinks this is the way to go but i'm startin to think it'l just backfire on me and i'l just stick with NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Kodo Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 i was thinking the same thing, it was a mutual break up about a week ago since then tho i made it clear to her i wanted to get back together and she regected me i didn't exactly beg but it came pretty close, thats why i thort writting the note would be a good idea just to let her know that i'm fine with the break up now and that it was a good idea, i've been reading some stuff from T W jackson who thinks this is the way to go but i'm startin to think it'l just backfire on me and i'l just stick with NC. Quite frankly, those "get your ex back" strategies by TW jackson are quite clever. You go in expecting your ex back (that's the selling point) but instead you go out a healthier person who has moved past their ex. That same information that will make you healthier is available here for free and without false hope. Time. Time is the key here. Use it. I bought that same book by TW when my ex left me over 2 years ago. I did everything until I just went no contact. She contacted me a year later wanting to come back.... and then we broke up just a few weeks ago after 15 months. That's 2 years! This is a long journey. Spend as much time here as you need. Surround yourself with friends and find yourself a cause that DOESN'T involved partner. For me, it's my degree. I spent a lot of wasted time before starting it. I'm one of hte older students so now I just focus on getting it done and getting my career on track. That doesn't need a girlfriend. Sex? I've had wild sex, I have nothing to prove and I know what it feels like. Kids? Not for a decade most likely. So really when you take it like that, there is no NEED for a partner. It's just nice to have. But you can easily fill the void with friends. Continue to post in this thread anytime you want to talk or ask advice. Link to post Share on other sites
MyHeartHurtsOuch Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 Quite frankly, those "get your ex back" strategies by TW jackson are quite clever. You go in expecting your ex back (that's the selling point) but instead you go out a healthier person who has moved past their ex. That same information that will make you healthier is available here for free and without false hope. Time. Time is the key here. Use it. I bought that same book by TW when my ex left me over 2 years ago. I did everything until I just went no contact. She contacted me a year later wanting to come back.... and then we broke up just a few weeks ago after 15 months. That's 2 years! This is a long journey. Spend as much time here as you need. Surround yourself with friends and find yourself a cause that DOESN'T involved partner. For me, it's my degree. I spent a lot of wasted time before starting it. I'm one of hte older students so now I just focus on getting it done and getting my career on track. That doesn't need a girlfriend. Sex? I've had wild sex, I have nothing to prove and I know what it feels like. Kids? Not for a decade most likely. So really when you take it like that, there is no NEED for a partner. It's just nice to have. But you can easily fill the void with friends. Continue to post in this thread anytime you want to talk or ask advice. What book is that and do you recommend it for getting over an ex? or is it more for getting an ex back...cause i'm sure he wont come back to me...i mean maybe like a year or so he will be curious to see how my life turned out and all but i dont think he will come back to me to want to be with me Link to post Share on other sites
Author jacksonBrown Posted May 9, 2011 Author Share Posted May 9, 2011 Quite frankly, those "get your ex back" strategies by TW jackson are quite clever. You go in expecting your ex back (that's the selling point) but instead you go out a healthier person who has moved past their ex. That same information that will make you healthier is available here for free and without false hope. Time. Time is the key here. Use it. I bought that same book by TW when my ex left me over 2 years ago. I did everything until I just went no contact. She contacted me a year later wanting to come back.... and then we broke up just a few weeks ago after 15 months. That's 2 years! This is a long journey. Spend as much time here as you need. Surround yourself with friends and find yourself a cause that DOESN'T involved partner. For me, it's my degree. I spent a lot of wasted time before starting it. I'm one of hte older students so now I just focus on getting it done and getting my career on track. That doesn't need a girlfriend. Sex? I've had wild sex, I have nothing to prove and I know what it feels like. Kids? Not for a decade most likely. So really when you take it like that, there is no NEED for a partner. It's just nice to have. But you can easily fill the void with friends. Continue to post in this thread anytime you want to talk or ask advice. your right life does go on without a partner ppl get scared and depressed after a break up myself included we broke last week after 3 years and i held off contacting her for about 5 days then i broke and poured out all my feelings for her ova a txt msg and she still regected me. she said things like she cares for me and loves me but we need to break up 'its for the best' stuff like that. we are worth saving tho and i'm gonna do my best to get us back together just gotta play my cards right Link to post Share on other sites
timwagner Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 I am in a similar situation. I had a 10 months long distance relationship (only 500 miles) and we had a amazing time together, never really having serious fights. She was all over me, and so I was all over hers. One months ago I felt she started to doubt about her feelings; she did not admit it but was sometimes edgy and said I am too pushy. After me finally asking, she finally admitted her feelings were not strong enough to commit, even though she likes me a lot. After some days of discussion about it, we decided to break up without fight. This was also the moment she moved to another city for a totally new job. Now one week later, having no contact at all, she suddenly emails me "just to inform" me the job is great and the colleagues nice, and she ends asking how I am. I answered back a couple of hours later to tell her I am happy she is doing well in her new job - keeping it short. What should I do now ? Is she coming back on her decision ? Should I keep the NC for longer and let her settle on her new job first? Link to post Share on other sites
vsmini Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 I did the same "letter" thing. It didn't work. NC and move on. Simple as that. Not chasing and keeping up communication like a madman will help your chances of getting them back but.....it's called a breakup because it's broken. Leave it that way. Link to post Share on other sites
LostInTurn Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 Go NC. No letter! A letter doesn't make a difference, at all. Even though you told her you wanted her back, you don't need to now tell her you changed your mind. SILENCE will scream this from the mountain tops loud and clear. Sending a letter is a game and she will know this. It will only push here away even more. You don't need to justify, you just need to do, Go NC. Link to post Share on other sites
.thumb.jpg.3dd50b3a4fbed8b5b2013351720c0209.jpg)
Recommended Posts