Been together for 10yrs, both have different outlooks on life

[ladye]

Hi everyone!

Just need some advice and input.

 

I meet my husband back when I was 16 and he was 20, took it very very slow. Dated until I was 21 and we decided to move in with each other. Then after 6 yrs of dating he proposed and then got our marriage license later that year.

We have been together for a total of almost 10yrs and married for over 4yrs.

I'm 26 now and he's 30. I have notice that our future plans aren't the same as we planned.

I will be graduating from college soon. My husband now wants to start a family after I graduate, but I don't want kids for another 4-5yrs. I have also got into freelance makeup artist and want to go to makeup school after I graduate. Makeup is my true passion that I have found about 2yrs ago. But my husband doesn't support me in going to makeup school. He stated that I should just find a job in my field that I went to college for. I understand where he's coming from but I went to school for business and I want to run my own makeup artist business which is where I would use my degree.

I feel like we r both at a point where we r just comfortable with each other and

I think he's at a point where he is content in his life and the next step in life are to have kids. But I do not see that in my life just yet. He is a great man, a provider and helps me a lot around the house. But When I do try to talk to him about makeup school he just shoots me down and doesn't want to listen. I have tried to explain to him that this is my passion and this is what makes me happy but its not helping. And when I ask him to wait about 4-5yrs to have kids he doesn't want to listen. I'm very ambitious and driven and he's not.

 

I'm to a point where I am thinking to myself..."should I just end it now and not waste his time if he wants kids and I don't". ?

There's so much that I want to accomplish before I have kids. And I feel like I should have a relationship with myself and truly find myself.

[fencesitter]

All I can say is....use a form of birth control he can't sabotage.

 

Good luck with make up school. I worked for Lancome years ago and it's lots of fun. You're young. Do school now. It will be so much harder to go back when you've lost momentum and the excitement of your dreams.

 

If he is categorically saying "no", that is not a good sign. There must be room to compromise. You sound like you know yourself. I wish he could respect that.

 

Do not DO NOT be pressured to have children. I know it is possible to raise kids and continue your education, but I do not hear it is easy. I also hear raising a child with a man who refuses to consider your desires and feelings is even more difficult.