any chance?

[bk]

Don't know if anyone can offer advice on this situation, but I really don't know what to do. I recently came across a girl I used to really be infatuated with years ago. I met with her a few times to see how she was doing, and I really started falling for her all over again, since it turns out we share a lot of interests among everything else. I was so torn up inside over these feelings that I just told her everything about how I felt one day. She was flattered and all, but just wanted to be friends. We both sorta felt awkward after that, and just left it at that, but since then we've still met up just as friends and act like nothing ever happened.

 

What gets me though is that she doesn't seem to have much of a social life, and admitted that she doesn't expect to have one for years when I told her how I felt. Maybe it was the awkwardness of the moment, I can't seem to figure out what to expect. I seriously doubt she's hurting from some past relationship, she just seems insistent on burying her life in work. I don't know, are these all the signals that Im just wasting my time?

[Tony T]

She very clearly told you she just wants to be friends. After a period of awkwardness, it seems she is very much OK now with a friendship with you. Now that she knows how you feel, she can always approach you if her feelings change. Meanwhile, you are barking up the wrong tree with her.

 

There are a number of reasons she may have chosen a low profile social life because she is truly not interested in one at this point in her life. On a more personal note, she may be struggling with her own sexuality and gay tendencies. She may have been severely hurt in the past and doesn't want to risk again. She may have had a traumatized youth in which her mother and father fought nastilly and she doesn't want to put herself through that. There are just so many reasons she may be the way she is and it seems she does not care to share those reasons with you. I don't think she was joking when she said she didn't expect to have a social life for years to come. Take heed!!!

 

Accept that she is the way she is. Ask her if she's got some nice (straight) girlfriends she could introduce you to or move on to other places where you can get into the social groove and meet some ladies who would be willing to explore a constructive and positive romance with you.

 

I also profoundly urge you not to waste your time hanging around her and hoping she will change one day. She very well may...and you could be on social security at the time as well. Enjoy your youth with someone who wants to be with you in a great romance.

[billy the kid]

I agree with Tony on every thing except one point he failed to mention... She could really be a good true friend. and who of us could not appriciate that...so if you can handle just being friends...it is so hard for men to just be friends with women but once you do they are really the only friends you will want....

She very clearly told you she just wants to be friends. After a period of awkwardness, it seems she is very much OK now with a friendship with you. Now that she knows how you feel, she can always approach you if her feelings change. Meanwhile, you are barking up the wrong tree with her. There are a number of reasons she may have chosen a low profile social life because she is truly not interested in one at this point in her life. On a more personal note, she may be struggling with her own sexuality and gay tendencies. She may have been severely hurt in the past and doesn't want to risk again. She may have had a traumatized youth in which her mother and father fought nastilly and she doesn't want to put herself through that. There are just so many reasons she may be the way she is and it seems she does not care to share those reasons with you. I don't think she was joking when she said she didn't expect to have a social life for years to come. Take heed!!!

 

Accept that she is the way she is. Ask her if she's got some nice (straight) girlfriends she could introduce you to or move on to other places where you can get into the social groove and meet some ladies who would be willing to explore a constructive and positive romance with you.

 

I also profoundly urge you not to waste your time hanging around her and hoping she will change one day. She very well may...and you could be on social security at the time as well. Enjoy your youth with someone who wants to be with you in a great romance.