Author SF33M Posted June 28, 2004 Author Share Posted June 28, 2004 TempSain: I have to say that you are probably going to hear it from a few people on the board for the comments you just posted....but then they can bash me too. I happen to agree with you that it is just as easy for women to bash men saying they always want something better and only want sex as it is for men to say that women only want romance and why does everything always have to be about sex. I personally feel similar to you. My wife used to be crazy for me. Doing it outdoors, in the car, on the hood, etc. Where is it written that once married for a few years, sex turns into the standard missionary position when ever "SHE" feels up to it? Once married, two people can't be nasty and fun enjoying sex like two single people? I am not angry with my wife and still very attracted to her. I just don't understand why things turn bland and want some changes to happen in that department. Many times I have mentioned, "hey honey, how about breaking out some of that lingerie you used to wear sometime?" She knows my needs and wants, yet nothing? She has let me know that her personal relationship with me is lacking but will not let me know exactly what she needs. I know the little things and am currently trying to do those for her. Still doesn't seem good enough.....but it used to be? Men are funny creatures. Then again so are women. I don't have the answers just trying to gain some insight here. Link to post Share on other sites
Yikes Posted June 28, 2004 Share Posted June 28, 2004 Many (but not all) women drop hints about what they want and think that's enough. Sometimes hints work, sometimes they don't. When it doesn't, then SAY what's on your mind. Men don't always see the signs, pick up the hints, I wish we did, but we don't. When your husband asks you what is wrong, TELL HIM, but in a constuctive way. I would say if he asks, take that as a positive thing. If we don't know, we can't fix it and the problem never goes away and if we didn't want to know we wouldn't ask. Most men would not continue to do something if we new it was causing a problem or was hurtful. It is unfair to expect your partner guess what is going on inside and it leaves the door open for misunderstandings. Sometimes it pays to just speak up. I cannot help but think that communication is, in a large part anyway, the "work" that is referred to when they say "you need to work at your marriage". I realize that sometimes it hurts to have to ask for what seems so obvious to you, but men are different animals than women and sometimes we just don't get it. It's just not in our genes, sorry. Don't mistake it for not caring. Often we have other things on our minds (and it's not always anorexic bimbos with silicone boobs), it could be problems at work, or financial issues, maybe a car that's on it's last legs and sometimes, just soemtimes, were just frustrated trying to figure out what's on your minds. Lastly, I bet as you begin to "reconnect", you'll have to "ask" less and your man will be more in tune to "just know" what you want. When the connection is not good, sometimes we can be as dumb as a stump. Link to post Share on other sites
Rightlymia Posted June 29, 2004 Share Posted June 29, 2004 Yeah I was just going to come on and say every relationship is different but TempSain already said it.. Keep giving info to the ladies Yikes I like to hear what guys think and where we women can go wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
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