Joey oregon Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 Question as to what to do? My wife of ten years has cheated on me. Twice in the last few months. She said something which made me suspicious and I started checking the computer. Found a chat where she was discussing it with the other parties. She works with one (the husband). I confronted her. She said it was a mistake and it would stop. I told her we would work things out and stay together. Then I find out that she and the guys wife decided to give him a birthday surprise, (both girls with him) Now I don't know what to do. She has kids from a prior marriage, we have one together, I don't want my son to grow up without his mom being a constant in his life but i can't ignore this. She says I'm her soulmate... yeah right. I'm thinking of asking her to quit her job and find another as a last ditch effort to salvage the relationship. She doesn't want to go to counseling. Has stated again it won't happen again. Link to post Share on other sites
sportsloving Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 I agree that the kids are the most important... as for the rest hmmm. She is willing to do a three some with the wife? Meaning the wife knows and doesn't care about this "relationship" between them? Honestly, I would tell her she either attends counseling with you or you file for divorce. I don't know that having her quit the job is going to do much except break them apart at work (assuming that is not where they are having their fun). I wish you the best of luck, sounds like you are going to need it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Joey oregon Posted April 11, 2004 Author Share Posted April 11, 2004 yes, the wife knows. She's the second person in "persons" I mentioned. She was active in both occasions Link to post Share on other sites
sportsloving Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 Do you believe that she will stop all activity with this man (who has his wife's permission)? She said it wouldn't happen again, and yet it did. I still think your best shot at getting past any of this is to request counseling. If she honestly wants to save the marriage, that seems the best route. If she can't invest the time ... maybe she isn't worth your time. I am sorry... I do hope you find peace. Link to post Share on other sites
Fritz Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 You might try <URL removed> too. Link to post Share on other sites
ThisGirlNameKD Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 You have to make a choice of whether this is something you're willing to live with (her having affairs) for the sake of the children, or not. That's basically what it boils down to, because you can't control her actions. If she's not willing to cut ties with this guy or go into marriage counseling, she's not going to stop cheating. And she may stop with this guy, but who's to say she won't start with someone else. If you can live with that just so your child could have a mother in their life, then that's you're decision. But if she's not willing to change, what are you going to do? Link to post Share on other sites
Crys0369 Posted April 12, 2004 Share Posted April 12, 2004 I personaly believe in the cheat once, it could be a mistake. And she could really be sorry and really never do it again. But then...it goes on...twice...three times... Get a clue. You love her. And it's hard. For you, the kids. But you can't let her treat you that way. Sorry dude. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Joey oregon Posted April 15, 2004 Author Share Posted April 15, 2004 I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for your posts. I will post an update in a few days. We will be going away for the weekend to discuss the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
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