Country_Girl Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 Long story short, my Ex broke up with me end of December. He didn't really communicate with me for 1.5 months. Then came the phone calls/texts, maybe once a week...2 weeks at most. Those calls were filled with "he loves me/misses me" but nothing about getting back together. I was holding on to hope for a good few months, he told me to move on- I didn't want to but it just happened. Went on a date 2 weeks ago, he happened to call the day after the date saying he had a dream I had moved on and he called and there was another guy in the background. He wanted to make sure there was no guy in the picture. At the time there wasn't. Sure, I went on a date, but I didn't know what would unfold. He had said, let him know if I am seeing someone and he will back off. Well, I am seeing this guy now. I have no interest in the Ex. How do I politely tell the Ex that it's best we don't talk for a long while. I mean if he wants to call and see how things are going every six months that's fine, but I don't really want to be his friend. It's weird...he broke my heart initially, but I feel horrible that I am going to break his heart telling him this news. I don't want to tell him, but it needs to happen. I can't be emotionally invested in one person and another. Wouldn't be fair to the new guy. How can I politely say I don't wish to hear from him anymore? Link to post Share on other sites
lapse Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 I went through this recently. Don't you hate that sheot? *You* feel guilty for not having feelings for someone who broke your heart! How in the hell... (I've asked myself this countless times...) I think the only thing you can do is be completely honest. There's no need to be diplomatic. You're not issuing a press release; no one's cousin is going to be executed in a third world country as a result of your address. Personally, I explained that, over time, my feelings simply went away. And that I am now seeing someone and, out of respect for that person, myself, and the present relationship, I could not stay in intimate contact with him or give our relationship another (i.e., 14th) try. And I wished him the best. Now, in my situation, he will not give up. He says he is not concerned about this current relationship because he just knows we are meant to be together. Nothing I say is abrading his resolve. So all I could say was that I no longer wanted to discuss it. And I told him honestly that I am tired of these conversations making me feel guilty when my feelings were not a choice and I had every reason to grow away from him. I think honesty - a heartfelt explanation - is the best way to go. Link to post Share on other sites
ramathorne Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 He dumped you? Don't say anything to him! You don't owe him an explanation for anything. Link to post Share on other sites
0hpenelope Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 Long story short, my Ex broke up with me end of December. He didn't really communicate with me for 1.5 months. Then came the phone calls/texts, maybe once a week...2 weeks at most. Those calls were filled with "he loves me/misses me" but nothing about getting back together. I was holding on to hope for a good few months, he told me to move on- I didn't want to but it just happened. Went on a date 2 weeks ago, he happened to call the day after the date saying he had a dream I had moved on and he called and there was another guy in the background. He wanted to make sure there was no guy in the picture. At the time there wasn't. Sure, I went on a date, but I didn't know what would unfold. He had said, let him know if I am seeing someone and he will back off. Well, I am seeing this guy now. I have no interest in the Ex. How do I politely tell the Ex that it's best we don't talk for a long while. I mean if he wants to call and see how things are going every six months that's fine, but I don't really want to be his friend. It's weird...he broke my heart initially, but I feel horrible that I am going to break his heart telling him this news. I don't want to tell him, but it needs to happen. I can't be emotionally invested in one person and another. Wouldn't be fair to the new guy. How can I politely say I don't wish to hear from him anymore? Ah, there's the rub... Good for you, Country Girl! As for telling him that you don't wish to hear from him anymore, direct's usually best. The ex is getting what he asked for and you are now doing something that you will do regardless of what he says: you have moved on. Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 I dont think your ex would be as hurt as you think he would. He did dump you, and I assume that since you guys kept in touch he still hasnt talked about getting back together. That means that by now he wont get hurt if you tell him you dont want to talk to him. he probably is in the middle of moving on like you are. Link to post Share on other sites
vsmini Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 How to tell an ex you've moved on? Don't tell him anything. Don't respond. Do not attempt the rehash and get together with him for a talk. Do not write a lengthy email or call him. Send him a short email message stating: "I've moved on and ask that you do not contact me again." I know it sounds harsh and heartless but it's for the best and in the end you will feel better. Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 I would just tell him something like this: When you dumped me it really hurt. Then when you started calling I have to admit it made my ego feel better. I have moved on and anything beyond that is none of your business. It’s rude to dump some one and then stroke your ego by seeing if they are still single. Please just leave me alone. (and then just ignore any and all communications from him) Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 (edited) I dont think your ex would be as hurt as you think he would. He did dump you, and I assume that since you guys kept in touch he still hasnt talked about getting back together. That means that by now he wont get hurt if you tell him you dont want to talk to him. he probably is in the middle of moving on like you are. i agree with eddie. your ex did tell you to move on and that's what you did. i do think he might have some lingering feelings and might be thinking that if you do confirm you're with someone else, that could be the closure he needs to move on as well. it's up to you if you want to tell him you're seeing someone else. but as the other posters have said - - you're under no obligation to do so. i would just tell him you've moved on as he asked you to and ask him not to contact you again. Edited May 10, 2011 by radiodarcy Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts