PlentyLV007 Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 I've been married going on three years now. I love my husband very much but we have touchy subjects...or should I say I have the tochy subject about our money. I'm currently in school for my Computer Science Degreen in Game Simmulation programming. I've been at Devry for about three years, going on four next year and graduating. So when ever we talk about how much we'll owe or how much debt we have due to my school it frustrates me because it makes me feel like I'm putting us behind in our future goals...house kids...ect. We save and travel every other year...we don't splurge too much and we both work. I'm trying to get some advice on how to be a better person in communicating about money w/out getting so frustrated or irritated at him. It's not his fault and I know he means well in trying to strategize our future without bitting his head off. Advice? Anything would be helpful! Link to post Share on other sites
KikiW Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 Money is one of the hardest issues to deal with in a marriage. Unfortunately, there doesn't appear to be one right answer. I have seen couples where only one person deals with finances at all (pays all the bills, knows what's in the account, is the one that freaks out when the balance gets too low), I have seen couples where both are on the finances like white on rice, and I have seen couples where NEITHER pay much attention. Add into that each person's level of financial comfort. One person might think having $10 in the bank account is fine as long as the bills are paid on time and no checks bounce. The next might get an anxiety attack if there is less than $5,000. If those two people are a couple, there will be OBVIOUS issues. My suggestion is to sit down and discuss the issues with your husband. Tell him that you feel guilty when the debts are discussed, because you are contributing to them. But remind yourself AND him that the point of school is to earn the degree to help your financial situation become better in the end. Maybe have an honest talk about the strategies he comes up with... perhaps sit down with a financial advisor for some outside advice? If you were sitting on your butt doing nothing all day but shopping online, I could see feeling guilty. You're going to school - don't feel guilty for that. Link to post Share on other sites
SaurabhKumar Posted May 27, 2011 Share Posted May 27, 2011 One of the top reasons married couples argue-and even divorce- is because of plain, old-fashioned money issues. There are a lot of changes involved in being newly married, especially during the family planning phase of a new relationship. Everyone wants to have security and a safety net in their financial lives, and if couples learned early to discuss money issues before tying the knot, the divorce rate just might find a way to go down and happy, more stable relationships may be on the rise. Newlyweds may stand a better chance of staying out of debt by getting their money ducks in a row. Kannada Matrimony Link to post Share on other sites
musemaj11 Posted May 27, 2011 Share Posted May 27, 2011 How much is it? If its a few thousands, no big deal. But if its tens of thousands then I feel sorry for the guy. Link to post Share on other sites
musemaj11 Posted May 28, 2011 Share Posted May 28, 2011 That is one of the common failure in a marriage. The one who is making the income is the boss.... so sad... Why is it sad? Money makes the world go round. The one who makes the money should not have absolute control. But he does deserve bigger say. If I were relying on someone for survival, I wouldnt expect to have an equal say. Thats just stupid. Link to post Share on other sites
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