inappropriate with girlfriend's friend.

[Don]

The other evening when I had some friends over for a poker game, my girlfriend came by with her soon to be married friend Shannon, who've I always thought was very cute. Both were very drunk after celebrating Shannon's last days as a single. Shannon, who normally is very shy, reserved and never drinks, was in very bad shape that night. She had vomited on herself and passed out. My girlfriend, who wasn't feeling too well herself, asked if we would help out Shannon and went in my bedroom to lay down. My friends and I decided that the best way to sober up as well as clean up Shannon was to give her a bath. So we took her off all her cloths, carried her into the bathtub and bathed her, while we put her cloths through the wash. I have to admit, it was a task my friends and I enjoyed perhaps a bit too much. By the time we finished, Shannon was clean and a little more sober, however, she was also upset with what we did. Before leaving in tears she complained to my girlfriend that we took advantage of her and had fondled and groped her naked body. My girlfriend is now angry with me because I upset her best friend. She said I acted inappropriately for how I handled the situation. What is the best way to make it up to both my girlfriend and Shannon?

[Tony T]

Apologize for a serious error in judgement. The right thing to do would have been to find a sober person to drive Shannon home where she could have been properly cared for.

 

Once you have advanced your apology, just never mention the situation again as long as you live. You have to understand that for Shannon, especially, and to some extent for your girlfriend, what you guys did was extremely humiliating. Your girlfriend probably sensed immediately that your goodwiil gesture of giving a drunken Shannon a bath was not entirely a charitable or altruistic act.

 

Shannon has to take full responsibility for getting herself plastered with alcohol but, even still, she did not bargain for a wholesale fondling and neither did her lack of sobriety license such.

 

Let's hope this whole thing will pass and that you have learned something from it. Even though I totally understand why you took advantage of this opportunity, it was distasteful and very wrong. The fact that the guys were a bit tipsy as well is no defense for this kind of thing.

[Deejette]

It's too late. Your girlfriend will always remember that you did this and always have that lingering doubt about your faithfulness. One day when you get into a big fight, she will bring it up again or try to get back at you with some of her own semi-cheating ways.

Apologize for a serious error in judgement. The right thing to do would have been to find a sober person to drive Shannon home where she could have been properly cared for. Once you have advanced your apology, just never mention the situation again as long as you live. You have to understand that for Shannon, especially, and to some extent for your girlfriend, what you guys did was extremely humiliating. Your girlfriend probably sensed immediately that your goodwiil gesture of giving a drunken Shannon a bath was not entirely a charitable or altruistic act. Shannon has to take full responsibility for getting herself plastered with alcohol but, even still, she did not bargain for a wholesale fondling and neither did her lack of sobriety license such.

 

Let's hope this whole thing will pass and that you have learned something from it. Even though I totally understand why you took advantage of this opportunity, it was distasteful and very wrong. The fact that the guys were a bit tipsy as well is no defense for this kind of thing.