Met my ex by coincidense and now he sent me an email and wants to meet/talk

[Popondetta]

Short story:

 

He broke up with me 3 months ago after we had a break for 3 months because he didn't know what he wanted..(I suspect he is a commitment phobic).

We were together for 2 years and were very compatible. Never had any fights.

 

Today I met him by coinsidence right outside my door (I live in a very central place/town quare). I just came back from a walk with a friend and my ex was also with a friend when we met. We just had a short conversation (my hands were shaking and I felt numb and afterwards I had to debrief with my friend). My ex asked me how my job-search was going and I told him the truth; That I'm going for an interview in another city on thursday (Yes, I've been considering moving to get away form the pain). I told him it was time for me to try something new.

He had his typical stoneface on all the time. To me it felt like he just wanted to get out of there and that he hated seeing me.

 

And guess what?!! Now, 5 hours after me met he sent me an email saying:

I've been thinking about you a lot lately, missing the things we did together. Told me he had been thinking for a while to write me but then he met me. Asked me if I wanted to meet him to go for a walk and have a chat next week. I haven't replied yet. I don't know what to reply either.

 

I've been through hell (but I have never told him how hurt I've been), and I don't want the same thing to happen.

 

I've been staying NC most of the time, except from a few emails.

 

I guess this is just what commitment phobics do: They really want you back once they feel like they're loosing the grip.

 

I'm angry and happy!

I suspect breadcrumbs coming my way.

[Popondetta]

Should I meet him? Should I ask him why he wants to meet?

 

I'm worried that him hearing about me maybe moving away made him think that he needs to keep me hangning on, and that he doesn't want anything else than to know that I'm there IF he wants to go back to me. He might just tell me AGAIN how confused he is and I don't need to meet him to hear that crap again.

 

Am I heading for breadcrumb town?

[LostInTurn]

Should I meet him? Should I ask him why he wants to meet?

 

I'm worried that him hearing about me maybe moving away made him think that he needs to keep me hangning on, and that he doesn't want anything else than to know that I'm there IF he wants to go back to me. He might just tell me AGAIN how confused he is and I don't need to meet him to hear that crap again.

 

Am I heading for breadcrumb town?

 

Honestly, if I were you I wouldn't meet him. There is no point in meeting and talking about things that, at the end of the day, really aren't going to make a difference. It probably won't help you sleep at night and it certainly won't help you on your new career endeavors. Telling him about you and your plans only keeps him close. I would NOT tell him anything more about your future plans. You've already told him enough.

 

Also, I don't know whether his thinking of writing you is true or not, or whether that was prompted when he ran into you.

 

I don't think anyone can answer, for sure, what the outcome would be, but I wouldn't recommend it. I think you are doing a wonderful job if you're staying NC for the most part, that is half the battle. Go on your interview and live your life. Take this as an opportunity to do everything you want to do without outside influence.

[JasonRules]

Yes you can meet him, but don't act desperate. Don't talk about the relationship, your feelings, the future etc. Remain enigmatic, upbeat, and personable. And don't ask him to get back together. He wanted to meet with you. Let him open up.

[Ajax]

I can't tell you not to meet with him, because I'm not sure what I'd do were my ex to ask for a meetup. What I can say though is that from your other posts, you have every reason to believe that he;s commitment phobic. And the general consenus is that they rarely change.

 

You definitely need to excersise caution. It may be the case, as you mentioned, that he just wants to make sure he's got you hanging on still. Don't accept his breadcrumbs if it seems to be going that route.

[Leda]

My thought:

 

-if you do not want to ever reconcile, definitely don't meet him. Big pile of unneccessary emotional stress.

 

-if you do hope to reconcile, you could meet with him. Stay very open-minded, and really listen to what he has to say. Wait until at least 24 hours after you've seen him and heard what he wants to decide what to do.

 

After giving yourself time to really listen and really think about things, make sure you are completely honest with him, and with yourself, about what you want.

 

I'm a little worried, because I don't remember your original story. If he's one of the guys who wants to see other people, when you want to be exclusive--uggh, forget him!!! Don't see him!! If the breakup was a bit ambiguous or mutual, hear him out. (Also, age is important--commitment-phobic at 27 means: not ready for commitment yet...commitment phobic at 37 means: big problems that are unlikely to change.)

 

I hope at the very least knowing that he didn't just move on without eating his heart out will sooth your wounded ego! Whether he is a right match who can make you happy is another question.

[Popondetta]

Thanks for the replies everyone!

 

@Ajax: Yes, we have had discussions about this and I am very worried that he just wants to meet to say that he's confused still. Or maybe he's not confused now that he knows that I might leave the city, but would be confused again if he knew I was here waiting for him

 

@Leda: I do want to get back together but I don't know if I could trust him again. He's a 33 year old with commitment issues. Didn't want to break up but didn't want to still see me either. Told me he didn't know what he wanted etc. (No, he's not after an open relationship or anything, but just very confused about whether we were right for eachother.)

Yep, it definitely lifted my spirit to know that he's not out partying with other girls but that he's still thinking about me..

 

@Jasonrules: That's the exact same advice I've given to others who are meeting their ex's so I will follow that. I will let him do all the talking and try to be a bit vague about myself. I don't want him to think that I'm sitting around waiting for him (which I am.---LOL)

 

@LonstInTurn: Thanks. I've been thinking the same. I definitely am going to the interview even thought it's not my DREAM job.

I might write him back after the weekend and tell him that I don't want to meet if he's just gonna talk about how confused he is.

[PinkChic]

Hi Popendetta!

 

I know you and I can definitely relate on our relationships (CP'S)...

 

My ex came running back the other day... after 5 weeks... saying how he messed up big time... made the worst decision of his life... has been ridiculously miserable for the past month, etc.

 

I agreed to meet him yesterday... we went for a massively long walk and ice cream... I did not bring up the relationship once in the 3 1/2 hours we were together... except until the end... it felt nice because it was the first time in a very long time we just hung out like old times... but at the end when he was dropping me off I did bring up the relationship... after all thats why he begged to see me yesterday!... he again promised to SHOW me how much he cared, begged and pleaded... I agreed to give it a chance. Because in my heart thats what I really wanted...

 

Right now, waking up this morning, I will tell you it doens't feel as good as I thought it would... I thought I would be over the moon. But, something just doesn't feel right. Like I wonder when he'll call and be scared and run again?.. I wonder how I'm suppose to constantly be wondering if I should say this or say that to make him uncomfortable with his feelings... I feel like I'm walking on eggshells!

 

We will see.. Keep us posted on your decision and what happens!

[rayne05us]

I would think first and see why you two broke up in the first place...is it something that is fixed/fixable? Also do you still feel the same way about him or are you just hurt? If you DO decide to meet, let him bring up the getting back together...and taaake iiit slooooow. Start by contacting him again and then move on to dates and such. Make sure each step feels good for you BOTH before you progress...And remember you're going to have to pretty much start from scrath and leave everything(including the hurt) in the past; you can't just get back what you once had, that is gone. But if this person is a positive thing in your life and you have good communication with him (or want to work on that) then ease yourself into it. Don't let him pressure you. Do want YOU want to do and at your time.

[Popondetta]

Hi Popendetta!

 

I know you and I can definitely relate on our relationships (CP'S)...

 

My ex came running back the other day... after 5 weeks... saying how he messed up big time... made the worst decision of his life... has been ridiculously miserable for the past month, etc.

 

I agreed to meet him yesterday... we went for a massively long walk and ice cream... I did not bring up the relationship once in the 3 1/2 hours we were together... except until the end... it felt nice because it was the first time in a very long time we just hung out like old times... but at the end when he was dropping me off I did bring up the relationship... after all thats why he begged to see me yesterday!... he again promised to SHOW me how much he cared, begged and pleaded... I agreed to give it a chance. Because in my heart thats what I really wanted...

 

Right now, waking up this morning, I will tell you it doens't feel as good as I thought it would... I thought I would be over the moon. But, something just doesn't feel right. Like I wonder when he'll call and be scared and run again?.. I wonder how I'm suppose to constantly be wondering if I should say this or say that to make him uncomfortable with his feelings... I feel like I'm walking on eggshells!

 

We will see.. Keep us posted on your decision and what happens!

 

Haha PinkChic!

That's funny that something similar happended to the both of us! So what's going on in your world now? Are you two back together?

 

As for me nothing is new here. I went away for the weekend for a job interview and to visit some friends. I'm back home now with a cold so I'm not planning on seeing him until next week. Not exactly sure how I feel about meeting him either. I definitely want to meet up but I think he just wants to check how he's feeling, and see if I'm still waiting for him.

 

I repleied after 2 days to his email that I would meet up with him when I got back home. He replied that that sounded good and to just let him know when is a good time for me. Then on sunday was our national day and he sent me a congratulations-email and told me to not eat to much ice-cream and telling me he was on his way to work (suddenly all this information after 2 months NC). I replied yesterday that I don't feel like meeting this week since I'm sick and asking if next week is ok.

 

So that's all that's happended here. Will post more when I've actually met him..

He's got commitment issues so I would be scared like you are PinkChic, if we ever got back together...

[Popondetta]

I would think first and see why you two broke up in the first place...is it something that is fixed/fixable? Also do you still feel the same way about him or are you just hurt? If you DO decide to meet, let him bring up the getting back together...and taaake iiit slooooow. Start by contacting him again and then move on to dates and such. Make sure each step feels good for you BOTH before you progress...And remember you're going to have to pretty much start from scrath and leave everything(including the hurt) in the past; you can't just get back what you once had, that is gone. But if this person is a positive thing in your life and you have good communication with him (or want to work on that) then ease yourself into it. Don't let him pressure you. Do want YOU want to do and at your time.

 

Thanks for the post and good advice!

I totally agree with you. As for why we broke up, the reason was that he didn't know what he wanted anymore...So I guess it's hard to tell if that's fixable (he didn't give me any other reason than having commitment issues and being confused).

 

And I don't actually think he wants to get back together straight away. Like I wrote in the above post I THINK he just wants to find out if he made the right decision or not. I will definitely not bring up the relationship or getting back together. He has to do all the talking at first and then I'll just see what he's saying. If he's just gonna tell me how confued he still is, I'm not gonna tell him how I'm feeling at all. I know that I am a lot stronger now and I wont come home crying after I met him either. I've been through all that S'''' now and I feel more like I'm myself again finally.

If we ever were to get back together a few things would have to change (doing and planning more things together ie)

[Popondetta]

I'm meeting him this week (not sure what day yet as we are supposed to go hiking and the weather's not looking good)....

I'm worried that I have too high expectations and that when we meet he just wants to ask if we can be friends or start hanging out just to see what happens.

I seriously don't know what to expect and although I feel much stronger I know for sure that I'm not yet ready to be his friends or able to just see what happens.

Oh, why is it so hard to love somebody!!

[0hpenelope]

I'm meeting him this week (not sure what day yet as we are supposed to go hiking and the weather's not looking good)....

I'm worried that I have too high expectations and that when we meet he just wants to ask if we can be friends or start hanging out just to see what happens.

I seriously don't know what to expect and although I feel much stronger I know for sure that I'm not yet ready to be his friends or able to just see what happens.

Oh, why is it so hard to love somebody!!

Hm... You're not at a disadvantage here, Popondetta, if you maintain vigilant about your interactions with him, with self-preservation being your top priority in your dealings with your ex.

 

It's risky because it's understandable that you don't want to be disappointed, but keep in mind that no couple becomes and stays a couple unless they're communicating. It's how you carry yourself that may help influence your ex.

 

At the same time, you may find out that no matter how you do things, if your ex doesn't want to be with you, then he will not come back. That's the disappointment you refer to and I understand how painful that feels.

 

This is why a period of complete detachment and separation from the ex is important. The second chance that most of us desire isn't supposed to be a continuation of the first go around. Something was broken in that relationship, so why would anyone want that back? The two events that usually happen out of that space and time apart: one or the other finds someone else that they are happy with or they realize that the ex is the one that they want to be with.

 

Let him come to you for the hiking arrangements. He's the one who wants the meet-up, right? Let him sweat a little. You're not that eager to have him back, after all. After all of the healing and progress you've made, having him back isn't as important as getting yourself back.

 

You're the prize. The possibility of a reconciliation with him is just the side dish. You, fabulous, awesome you, are the prize.

[Popondetta]

Okey, so I met him 5 days ago. We went for a walk and he was being nice and normal. I managed to be myself and we actually had a nice time. We were supposed to go hiking but because of the bad weather we only went for a short walk. We were talking about work etc. We sat down for a while and then had lunch in a small cafe. He seemed happy and was talking alot. We said goodbye after 2 hours.

The day after I received an email. He told me it was nice to meet me, but that he didn't feel like he got to tell me the things he wanted to tell me. He wants to meet again...

[0hpenelope]

Okey, so I met him 5 days ago. We went for a walk and he was being nice and normal. I managed to be myself and we actually had a nice time. We were supposed to go hiking but because of the bad weather we only went for a short walk. We were talking about work etc. We sat down for a while and then had lunch in a small cafe. He seemed happy and was talking alot. We said goodbye after 2 hours.

The day after I received an email. He told me it was nice to meet me, but that he didn't feel like he got to tell me the things he wanted to tell me. He wants to meet again...

Sounds like the meet-up went well! How do you feel about it?

[Popondetta]

Hm... You're not at a disadvantage here, Popondetta, if you maintain vigilant about your interactions with him, with self-preservation being your top priority in your dealings with your ex.

 

It's risky because it's understandable that you don't want to be disappointed, but keep in mind that no couple becomes and stays a couple unless they're communicating. It's how you carry yourself that may help influence your ex.

 

At the same time, you may find out that no matter how you do things, if your ex doesn't want to be with you, then he will not come back. That's the disappointment you refer to and I understand how painful that feels.

 

This is why a period of complete detachment and separation from the ex is important. The second chance that most of us desire isn't supposed to be a continuation of the first go around. Something was broken in that relationship, so why would anyone want that back? The two events that usually happen out of that space and time apart: one or the other finds someone else that they are happy with or they realize that the ex is the one that they want to be with.

 

Let him come to you for the hiking arrangements. He's the one who wants the meet-up, right? Let him sweat a little. You're not that eager to have him back, after all. After all of the healing and progress you've made, having him back isn't as important as getting yourself back.

 

You're the prize. The possibility of a reconciliation with him is just the side dish. You, fabulous, awesome you, are the prize.

 

 

Thanks for the feedback Ohpenelope and sorry for the late reply!

I actually feel like I'm gettin breadcrumbs now. After I met him for the walk/lunch he sent me an email telling me that he didn't feel like he got to talk to me about the things he had on his mind. He wanted to meet up again or write it in an email to me. I told him I considered it to be ok to meet once more. (In the meantime I've gotten a really good job here in town.) Well so last weekend I was going to my parents place (2 hours drive from here). This is also where my ex' family has a summerplace. So instead of meeting in town we arranged so that we would drive together back there since he was going the same way that I was (I don't have a car so he gave me a lift). Again it was nice to meet up. I told him about my new job and we chatted about work, summer, our flats, etc.. BUT NOTHING about us! He never once mentioned anything "important". When I got out of the car he got out as well, gave me a hug and told me that we'll talk again when I would get back to town. On wednesday he sent me a text asking how my new job was going and some other things. I replied and then he replied back "That's good that you're feeling better (I had been sick), and good luck still with your new job :)" I then decided to text back "Thanks! I'm feeling alot better! Also wanted to ask you if you feel like you got to talk to me about the stuff that you wanted to talk to me about? Have a nice evening!". This was thursday evening....and he still has NOT replied..well,well. It's just confusing. I think he just wants to hang out to see if he still has feelings for me...

[Popondetta]

If anyone is interested in how this is going; here's what happened next:

He didn't reply to the sms I sent last thursday, so on sunday I texted him and told him that I found it strange that he didn't reply to my sms. I got a reply a couple of hours later;

 

"Strange yeah. I'm very sorry! I've been thinking about it a lot but still haven't replied, and I don't know why. I've been really busy but that's not an excuse. No, I didn't get to talk about the things I wanted to talk about. It's kind of difficult to talk about cause it's abstract. Maybe on some another occasion soon? How are you? I was at Peter's last night for vegetarian dinner. It was nice and realxing"

 

I replied: "Ok. But if you find it so hard to talk about maybe you'll find it easier to write it to me in an email. I'm doing well. Been out with some friends tonight and we had fun :)"

 

So this was 6 days ago. Still no sound from him. No text about meeting and no email... I feel stupid for thinking he wanted to meet to talk about anything. What should I do now? Just wait and see and continue NC? Or should I ask to meet to get this out of the world?

[0hpenelope]

Popondetta, I had a long reply to your previous post but lost it. To respond to your most recent post, be careful. You're starting to freak out and you're going to come across as desperate.

 

Do you see that your ex has all the control in your interactions? You're asking him how come he hasn't told you the "important thing" he says he has to tell you; and your gut's telling you that this is just bait.

 

Don't chase him. You're freaking out. Let him come to you. You have to be in control over your emotions, not your emotions having control over you. The way you're reacting, he knows he's got you hook, line, and sinker.

 

Keep cool. But if you really want to get out of that uncomfortable position where you're feeling insecure, then yes. Keep e-mailing him, send him text after text, and push him away. At least that way, you'll have your answer - at the risk of having him see you in a not-so-great light.

 

Keep cool. Maintain a level head. Let him come to you for more contact and do not wait around for his. You have better things to do with your time than to entertain an ex sniffing around in your life; the ex that, just to remind you, decided that he didn't want to be with you.

[Popondetta]

Thanks for your reply OhPenelope!

How are you doing at the moment??

 

Yeah, I actually know what the right thing to do is, but I just need someone to remind me that it's the right thing- NC of course!

I was actually kind of annoyed at him when we had met the second time and he just kept sending me random texts. That's why I decided to just ask him if he had talked about whatever it was he wanted to talk about. I still don't regret sending him that text or the one after saying I found it strange that he didn't reply. But that's it, no more texts from me, unless he sends me an email that explains his weird behaviour. Will let you know if there's any development in this ridiculous story

[Popondetta]

Do you think he will contact me again?

The two times we met we had a good time. We laughed and both of us were friendly and in a good mood. I'm just so upset to think if that was it. What was the point in meeting at all?!! I just don't understand..

[0hpenelope]

Do you think he will contact me again?

The two times we met we had a good time. We laughed and both of us were friendly and in a good mood. I'm just so upset to think if that was it. What was the point in meeting at all?!! I just don't understand..

No one knows if he will except himself. That's the honest truth.

 

My opinion is that the reason why you had a good time when you met up again is because three months, in general, isn't a long enough time to "detox" behaviors with a significant other from your system. Also, since you dated that long, you're still very familiar and comfortable with each other.

 

Three months isn't really very long, if you think about it. That's why my rule of thumb is, I don't even entertain contact from an ex until at least a year after the break up, if they contact me at all. I just know myself well enough that my head will be messed up from just months.

 

This is why we say "NC" a lot here. We have to completely detach and separate so we can assess things from a more neutral mindset. And he's got you right where he wants you, as you suspected from your first post:

 

They really want you back once they feel like they're loosing the grip.

 

I'm angry and happy!

I suspect breadcrumbs coming my way.

[Nita10]

You're asking all these questions which you can't answer, we can't answer and chances are he can't answer them either!

 

Clearly, he is confused and doesn't know what he wants. Like him saying the things he wanted to speak about are "abstract".. Nothing's so abstract unless you're very much confused.

 

I wouldn't want to be caught up in the middle of his mess. There's nothing you can do to fix his mess for him. But one thing you can do is stay away from him for some time. You don't want to get hurt. Let him figure things out for himself.

[iceweasel6]

Do you think he will contact me again?

The two times we met we had a good time. We laughed and both of us were friendly and in a good mood. I'm just so upset to think if that was it. What was the point in meeting at all?!! I just don't understand..

 

Hi, I read your posts from the beginning. I'm a "give benefit of doubt" person. So, when all seems to be going the wrong way - I say "give them the benefit of doubt". However, this situation, is past that benefit.

 

Your instincts may have arrived at the appropriate conclusion from your first post

 

"am I heading to breadcrumb town"

 

Congratulations - you now own property, and your about to become the mayor.

 

When a guy knows what he wants - he never says "I feel as though I never got to say what I really wanted to say". Trust me, they get it out ASAP. If he wants you back he will say - "I want you back". They put themselves out there, make their needs known, and most of all, make themselves vulnerable for the one they love and adore.

 

Does he miss you? Yes he does. Does he think about you? I'm sure often.

Does he want to get back with you and be your significant other? I'm not convinced, and the jury is still out.

 

If you can handle being in this limbo state - friends/confusion/mixed emotions/unsureness - then continue down the path your currently on.

 

However, to clear the air, let him know, what you feel, why you feel that way, what your going to do about it, and what you expect from him.

 

Another option is to say - What is it you want from me? But do you really want to be the instigator of his motivation?

 

Best of luck.

[Popondetta]

Thanks for the replies all three of you!

I know that it's stupid to ask Loveshack if my ex would contact me again. Just a call of frustration at the moment.

 

So I did what I was told by everyone (friends and LS) not to do. I sent him another text and said that I assumed that he didn't want to talk to me anyway, since I hadn't heard from him again. He replied straight away that he still wanted to talk to me, that he had tried to write me an email but had deleted it everytime he tried to write it because he found it hard to put down in writing what he was thinking. So he told me that he felt that it was a mistake to break up and if I wanted to meet up. That he understood if I had moved on after all this time and didn't want to meet.

 

So we met yesterday. It was nice (again). We had dinner in a cafe and talked a lot. He doesn't want us to make any hasty decisions and he wants us to meet and see if we can find back to eachother or not....He again told me that it was up to me and that he understood if I didn't want to. I told him that I was uncertain because I didn't want to open up for any more heartache.

 

(He told me that I am the only person he wants to talk to alot of the time, and that has made him think a lot. I also pop up in his head lot.)

 

Well, he walked me home and asked me if I wanted to hear from him or not. I told him I wasn't sure. So he told me to contact him if I feel like it.

 

Not sure what to do. I realize that we can't get back together without me being able to let go of the fear, and that I have to put up with some dating/meeting up without knowing what the outcome will be..

[Graceful]

Reading what's been going on with your ex, and of course not being caught up in any emotion, do you want to know what he looks like to me?

 

He's the lamest, most annoying, slippery, vague, irresponsible example of a lazy creep I've ever seen. Sorry, but that's the truth.

 

Where, oh where, has there been one clear, concise answer to any of your questions? Where, oh where, has he clearly said he wants to get back with you, will do what it takes to build trust again, has new priorities, will put the relationship first, correct the pattern that caused the breakup ... or anything else?

 

Where is he taking any responsibility, where? I don't see it. I see him putting ALL of it on YOU. YOU decide. YOU make the decision to get back together. YOU, not him? He hasn't given you any clear evidence that even one thing has changed within him.

 

This will absolve him of any guilt or responsibility if you get back with him and things go south again. "Well, it was what YOU wanted" -- "Well, I never made any promises, did I?" --- I can just see it coming.

 

 

So I did what I was told by everyone (friends and LS) not to do. I sent him another text and said that I assumed that he didn't want to talk to me anyway, since I hadn't heard from him again. He replied straight away that he still wanted to talk to me, that he had tried to write me an email but had deleted it everytime he tried to write it because he found it hard to put down in writing what he was thinking. So he told me that he felt that it was a mistake to break up and if I wanted to meet up. That he understood if I had moved on after all this time and didn't want to meet.

 

How could he possibly think you've moved on when you keep emailing him to check with him about talking to you? Seriously, if you'd moved on you would not be continually trying to talk to you him. You've made it VERY easy for him because you have been chasing after him. Why didn't he call or send an email? Because his heart isn't there, if it was, he would have contacted you on his own.

 

He "tried" to write? So why didn't he? Because he can't put what he's feeling in writing? Why? Because he doesn't know how he feels, that's why. And because he's lazy. Why not pick up the phone?

 

He again told me that it was up to me and that he understood if I didn't want to. I told him that I was uncertain because I didn't want to open up for any more heartache.

 

(He told me that I am the only person he wants to talk to alot of the time, and that has made him think a lot. I also pop up in his head lot.)

In telling you it was your decision, he is completely off the hook. If he wanted to get back with you, he'd be begging you, telling you all the reasons he wants you, and telling you his long term plans for the two of you.

 

He's 33 years old and he sounds like he's got a serious case of arrested development where is maturity level is back about 10 years. Is that the kind of guy you want? Seriously? Are you the same age? How long do you want to be jerked around by someone who clearly needs to grow up, declare his feelings, declare what he wants, and take responsibility for not only his feelings, but for your's.

 

Well, he walked me home and asked me if I wanted to hear from him or not. I told him I wasn't sure. So he told me to contact him if I feel like it.

If you feel like it? Is that what he said.

 

This is what the dumper should be saying when he wants to rectify things and get back with you: "Ex, I love you and made a huge mistake in breaking off the relationship. I know that now, and can only hope it is not too late. I have every intention of re-building trust with you because I only want to be with you, and if you can give me another chance, you will see that I am worth your trust again. After being apart, I realize what a wonderful person you are, a great friend, a caring beautiful soul, and if I can make things right again, I believe we belong together for a loving future. " Or something like that.

 

Is that what he said? Not even close? What do you want? Do you want to be dragged around playing guessing games? Do you want to be strung along making all the decisions so your ex can deflect all responsibility?

 

See him for who he is or suffer the consequences you will bring on yourself if you let him back in your life. You can do better. And what's more, if you want someone who is husband, father, and future partner material, I mean honestly, your ex sounds like a pretty lame prospect.

 

Nothing would give me more pleasure than to kick your ex to the curb and leave him there. But then, I'd be the one having all the fun. So, I'll leave that to you. Okay?

 

It's up to you. If you get back on that tiresome merry go round, you'll have no one but yourself to blame. Sorry. Take care.