cold feet or something more?

[beccadawn]

I have been with my fiance for a little under two years (will be two in aug) last july we got engaged, because we had been living together for a year this year we were able to declare common law in the state we live in so we are sorta of already married but its not completely official yet. last july we decided to wait till after he graduates college and i only have one year left for my school. we are about to make a big move together and its getting close to the date we set only its for year 2012 not 2011 and I m getting really worried and second guessing if we should be doing this and should be getting married in 2012. i know i still have a year to decided but is there something wrong if i m getting scared and think about getting out multiple times a month or is it cold feet? one my biggest fear is that one day I'll be saying that I got married to young and now divorced- when we do get married i'll be 21 and he be 23.

[I Luv the Chariot OH]

It's difficult to say without knowing you, so only you could really answer that. People that marry young are at least slightly more likely to divorce, it's true, but if you're a super mature 21 year old, I don't see why you wouldn't have a chance. One thing I do note, however, is approximately 99% of 21 year olds who want to get married think they're mature enough to do so. I was one of them. A few years later, all I can say is I'm sure as hell glad I didn't get married at 21 )

[eerie_reverie]

Why do you think about getting divorced? Is there something about the relationship or your boyfriend's personality that is an issue?

 

I don't know what you should do, but I know that I never believed anyone could change as much as I did between the ages of 21 and 25. I feel like my entire personality and value system have had an overhaul. I have probably changed more in the last 4 years than I did through my whole childhood + college.

 

But everyone's different.