Stocky Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 (edited) I'm 5 foot 9, I'm not petite by any means, I'm realy muscular naturally, and attractive girls have always liked me... however, ever since I was 19(I'm 23 now) I have had a phobia of dating girls for the simple fact of how I feel next to a guy that's 6'0"+, it rubs my ego the wrong way, and quite frankly I feel flat out embarassed lots of times (yes I am over-egotistical, I know, I'm working on it)... and I feel that if I were to have a girlfriend she would always fantasize about a tall guy, simply because sooo much of a guys personality is based on their height, and looks, and I've had this complex about my height for far too long now. Can I date a really attractive girl without worrying about a 6'1" stud taking her away? How big of a deal is height to girls that aren't tall? I don't even go in public now because I hate my height so much... (again, it's not my height that i hate, it's how I get "towered over" and look like a child next to other guys, making me "less" than) Please no rude answers, or answers from taller guys wanting to feel good about themselves... I haven't had sex in a long time and I'm starting to go insaine because of it, I just don't want to get involved with a girl and get hurt because of a height-based issue with another guy Edited May 11, 2011 by Stocky Link to post Share on other sites
guy777 Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 You are going to be terribly unhappy if you don't stop comparing yourself to other people. No matter how good you think you are at something, in your view there is always going to be someone, somewhere, who is better off. I bet you can find someone worse off people in your view pretty quick, but you're not thinking about them are you. Think about trying to helpi them more than focusing on your own short-commings and you'll be much happier about things. You can stop the comparisons, or continue being unhappy, it's your decision. Personally, I'm attracted to short women. I'm 6'3. I know for a fact that some of them have a complex with going out with me because of the height mismatch . So you have advantage on me with those women. Link to post Share on other sites
little.skittles Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 I personally wouldn't care how tall a guy was so long as he isn't shorter than me. I suppose it depends on the girl, to some it may matter and to some it don't. I can't say I've ever really looked at a guy and thought he was attractive because of how tall he is. I've bumped into guys who were super tall and found it very awkward. Link to post Share on other sites
sagetalk Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 Take it for what it's worth, women care 100% more about if you are acting the way they want you to rather than how tall you are. If the way you are acting matching up with what they want, height is almost meaningless. Link to post Share on other sites
sagetalk Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 For physical characteristics in a male mate it is at the top. Then again, it does matter to some of them. Just let them dump you and don't think a thing of it. Nothing you can do to win them over, it's a waste of time. Tons of girls don't care and the ones that do care are no hotter then the ones that don't. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 I wouldn't worry about it. I'm 6 feet tall, I don't have women falling over themselves for me. I know plenty of short guys who do have women throwing themselves at them. I'm sure on average taller is better (up to a certain point), but I think it probably correlates with other attractive traits rather than being the sole or predominate cause of attraction. Link to post Share on other sites
Enchanted Girl Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 I dated a 5'5" tall guy and didn't give a crap about his height. It really doesn't matter at all if you make us happy. =) Except to a few shallow girls. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 Does this mean Osama Bin Laden was the most desirable man in the middle east since he was so tall? No wonder he had so many wives. Link to post Share on other sites
Lilmisus Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 It's a must that guys be tall for some girls, but not for most or for all. Just like for some guys a girl must be short or tall for him to want to date her. All it is is a preference thing. All you have to do is find a girl who prefers guys your height..and trust me, there are a lot of them out there. Including me..I don't prefer guys who are too tall..over 6 foot is more of a turn off for me. So you have nothing to worry about. Link to post Share on other sites
BiscuitXOXO Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 The one guy I dated in high school was 5'7''. I also had a crush on him for several years. His height did not matter to me at all. I mean, I certainly don't prefer men who are my height (5'4''), but anything over is fine with me...And men over 6 feet actually kind of intimidate me. Other qualities are far more important. And some people are going to throw out the question: if there were two guys who were exactly the same in all aspects except for their height, one was 5'7'' and the other was 6'2'', who would you pick. My reply is: there will never be two people who are exactly the same. If I was on the verge of falling in love with both of them, what drives me towards one or the other will not be their height. Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Taylor Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 There are many guys that are 6'0"+ that are ugly as hell. Michael Phelps, Sam Cassell, Brad Garrett, Osama Bin Laden. Being tall certainly helps, but it's not everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stocky Posted May 11, 2011 Author Share Posted May 11, 2011 Ok, I know my actual height isn't an issue... and I know I'm not "short," but in a group of young white males in my part of the United States, I am pretty much always the shortest.... not by a ton, but most guys I know are 5'7"-6'1". The guys that are shorter than me are always really insecure, not smart, not good looking, etc. I swear the only guys I know that have my physical and mental qualities are always 6'0+, I'm like the only legit guy under 6 foot that I know. So my issue is being in groups of guys and being the shorter one... like tonight I was feeling pretty good about myself until I ran into a group of frat-boy type guys and they were like 6'2"-6'4" and that just made me feel so crappy... I would hang out with short guys I know but I can't stand how dumb they are, I don't like dumb people, and because of that I'm like always the shortest in the bunch. Does it bother girls to be with a guy that is on the "shorter" side? Or do girls like good looks better? Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 The guys that are shorter than me are always really insecure, not smart, not good looking, etc. I swear the only guys I know that have my physical and mental qualities are always 6'0+, I'm like the only legit guy under 6 foot that I know. Way to look down on men who have it worse off than you do Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 Height doesn't matter much to me. As long as the guy is the same height, it's all good. A little shorter? I'd happily wear flats. Link to post Share on other sites
Tybalt Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 I'm going to suggest that possibly, assessing that the entire population of shorter men have lesser mental qualities may be related to the preoccupation with height as a particularly meaningful attribute. Thus, if the hypothesis is that shorter men are less desirable somehow, then focus is placed on finding "evidence" of that. I have found no such correlations, myself. I'm a woman who is 5'9", and I'd date a guy who is 5'9". In fact, I once dated a guy who was 5'8" because I genuinely loved him. The person matters most. The last guy I was recently seeing is a sports model, and all of 5'11". And he is easily the hottest guy I've ever gone out with, including a few over 6 foot and one who was 6'5". My reason for cooling things has nothing to do with his height, or his looks for that matter. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stocky Posted May 11, 2011 Author Share Posted May 11, 2011 Way to look down on men who have it worse off than you do I'm not looking down on them because of their height. I look down on them simply because of their personality, character, intelligence, etc. Some of them are so insecure it digusts me Do I have issues? Am I dillusional? Link to post Share on other sites
guy777 Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 Not sure about you Stocky. We answered your question very clearly, including input from men and women, and you keep asking the same question expecting a different answer in hopes of confirming your insecurity. I'm beginning to think that threshold for mental capacity in your area might be 5'10 and over. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 I'm not looking down on them because of their height. I look down on them simply because of their personality, character, intelligence, etc. Some of them are so insecure it digusts me Are you sure you're not attributing those characterics to them because they are short. Some of staunchest anti-gay people turned out be closet gays. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stocky Posted May 11, 2011 Author Share Posted May 11, 2011 Not sure about you Stocky. We answered your question very clearly, including input from men and women, and you keep asking the same question expecting a different answer in hopes of confirming your insecurity. I'm beginning to think that threshold for mental capacity in your area might be 5'10 and over. Yea you're right. I just want to get this obsession out of my head once and for all. I went in to apply for a job today and the first guy I see was like 6'2" and it just completely drained me of all my motivation to get that job just because how much he towered over me... like, I don't know what it is. Am I narcisstic? Would many guys feel this way if they were my height? Link to post Share on other sites
PelicanPete Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 I can't speak for every tall guy, I'm 6'2 and personally I find the stocky muscular guys a lot more intimidating then a guy my height. Not to stereotype but those guys are usually a lot tougher because of their height, and because they are possibly self conscious about their height they feel they have to make up for it in some way? I don't know.. that's just my experience from boxing for a few years. I would always hate fighting those tanks. If you portray confidence towards other people then it won't really matter how tall you are. You might not be getting women because your so self conscious and that affects your confidence, and confidence is one of the main turn ons. If you aren't confident or comfortable with who you are people will pick up on it, start judging you, and your current negative thinking will become a reality. If you can't get girls because of your height alone, theyre shallow and chances are you wouldn't want to be with a shallow girl like that anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
BiscuitXOXO Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 Then they drop their pants. GAMEOVER oh yea definitely *drools* mmmmhmm I went in to apply for a job today and the first guy I see was like 6'2" and it just completely drained me of all my motivation to get that job just because how much he towered over me... like, I don't know what it is. Am I narcisstic? Would many guys feel this way if they were my height? That's like me going into an interview, and the first girl I see is a drop-dead gorgeous model. Unless the job was based on looks, I really wouldn't care. So, are you narcissistic? No. Look up the definition of that word. Would many guys feel this way if they were my height? No. I know many men shorter than you (Asian men ) who have tons of confidence, intelligence, good looks, etc. Some of them even have pretty, white gfs. Link to post Share on other sites
OliveOyl Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 Well it had been a couple of weeks since there was a posting about male height! I guess it was overdue I'm 5'2" and I mainly care that a guy is taller than me. Not too difficult. 5'9" is not an issue. It is not "short." There would be no practical difference -- for me -- between dating a guy who is 5'9" vs. 6'0". Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stocky Posted May 11, 2011 Author Share Posted May 11, 2011 There would be no practical difference -- for me -- between dating a guy who is 5'9" vs. 6'0". I get that, pretty much all my past girlfriends were all 5'0"-5'3", it just happened like that, however the reason I'm making this thread is how I compare to other guys... like right now I am the shortest guy of 5 guys I hang out with. The other night I went out with 8 guys and I was the shortest. Is that an issue? Link to post Share on other sites
OliveOyl Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 I get that, pretty much all my past girlfriends were all 5'0"-5'3", it just happened like that, however the reason I'm making this thread is how I compare to other guys... like right now I am the shortest guy of 5 guys I hang out with. The other night I went out with 8 guys and I was the shortest. Is that an issue? No it is not an issue. Someone has to be the shortest. It doesn't mean anything except you were the shortest. I am usually the shortest in a group of people. Yes I'm female but still. So? Link to post Share on other sites
Tybalt Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 It just occurred to me that my two best male friends, possibly the finest men I know (who I'm not related to) are 5'9" and 6'4', respectively. Both have enormous amounts of integrity, honesty, caring, and I admire and respect them both greatly. I view them both as masculine and holding some of the best character attributes I know. Both are attractive. And actually, the 5'9" guy has more success with women in general. Link to post Share on other sites
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