bwebbsprint Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 Need help!!! I found out from my wife ex-bestfriend(well kinda) that my wife has been cheating on-me for a long time.My wife and my self have married for 5 years(4-01-2004)together for 7.Any how my wife and her freind got into a fight when they went out, and need less to say more.(It must have been a good fight because her friend called me to tell me want my wife has been doing be heind my back) so the phone call went like this My wife of 7 years has been cheating on me servial years, and she has detail,so i feel like this is a pile of crap and can not hear what she is telling me.she is telling me my wife is a slut and ****ed a lot of people. need less to say we have two kids, so my ex-bestfriend said she had sex with guy from her job named Billy how had gray eyes and maid her melt she said. and she had ****ed him in our brand new mazda rx8( i have not had sex with wife wet in this car and have not). need help hear do i belive her or not. And then she says she had got STD from this punk. and now she is saying that we could have had chlamydia befor we met. what do i do and what do say? need help Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 The fact that you have come to some strangers on the Internet instead of confronting your wife tells me there is something serious wrong with your marriage. Talk to her immediately and see what her response is. I don't think a "friend" of your wife's who is very angry at her for some reason is a very reliable source. This is Jerry Springer crap. See what your wife has to say. If you believe her, continue to marriage. If you don't, get a divorce. I will also tell you if your wife can be screwing other men for several years and you haven't picked up on that...well, duh!!! Get yourself checked out for STD's right away. The results could be telling. What we do know so far is that your wife doesn't have very good friends, you don't trust your wife, and you don't have a very good marriage....and we know all of that without going any further. I think whatever the case, you and your wife need to start doing some serious work on your relationship and perhaps see a counsellor. Have nothing further to do with her ex friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Fedup&givingup Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 I think it is sad that your wife's friend decided to tell you this due to being angry at your wife. That is spiteful, crass, and shows total illregard of your feelings. Yes, it tells me that their fight was a doozy. Definitely confront your wife, but be prepared to be lied to. The circumstances that you were told about this would make it easier for your wife to lie and deny any and everything. Regardless of what your wife says, go get yourself checked out. Link to post Share on other sites
popelp21 Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 I have a friend who is going through the same thing. He found out about a year ago. After he found out, we started having an affair, but he hasn't let her yet. We have been together for 8 months. I don't know if he will ever leave. He says he just does not know because he has no proof except what someone has told him. If you decide to leave, I'd be curious to know how you do it. He promised her friend that he would not tell her how he found out, he's been trying to catch her but has been unable to do so. Good luck....I say ditch her....she will continue to cheat... Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted April 12, 2004 Share Posted April 12, 2004 I will also tell you if your wife can be screwing other men for several years and you haven't picked up on that...well, duh!!! Not as easy to pick up on as you may think, Tony. In my case, TBXW slutted around on me with at least 3 guys for seven years and I knew nothing about it until last August. It all depends how good they are at lying, whether the during-affair behaviour is noticeably different from pre-or-post-affair behaviour, and how well they cover their tracks. TBXW was a highly skilled liar... in fact, she was miserable for the whole marriage and had me completely fooled into thinking the marriage was great. Even cried on the wedding night... I thought she was overcome with emotion, when actually she knew she'd just made a huge mistake. Oh well... she's somebody else's problem now. Link to post Share on other sites
popelp21 Posted April 12, 2004 Share Posted April 12, 2004 RD how long did it take you to decide to leave...Did you leave right away and how did you find out? Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted April 12, 2004 Share Posted April 12, 2004 Popelp... found out in August '03 when she sat me down and told me. Found out steadily more details from her over the next few days. Didn't leave right away... we nominally "tried to fix it" for two months but she'd already written it off and her efforts were halfhearted at best. Decided at the end of Sept to split and I moved out November 1. Not sure she would have told me about the cheating except that two good friends of mine found out before I did, and a year earlier they sat her down, told her what they knew, and said that if she ever did it again they'd come to me first. So, she knew I'd find out eventually, and better from her than from them. However, even they didn't know the full magnitude or number. Like I said, she's a skilled liar. Had me fooled. Link to post Share on other sites
popelp21 Posted April 12, 2004 Share Posted April 12, 2004 It sounds just like the situation my friend is in. Except he found out and then things started with me a few months later...I guess, my mistake... She would never tell him. I wish she would because I think he'd leave. If only it were out in the open. There were at least 15 guys or so... I want a relationship with him so badly, but i fear it is never going to happen. I'm very much in love with him. She is also a liar. I've seen her and barely know her and she has said things to me about just how much things cost and not to tell him. Why would he stay? I just don't get it. From a guys point of view what could I do. He knows what she did but does not have details. He says he loves me too, but also loves her and can't let that go... Any suggestions or advice? Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted April 12, 2004 Share Posted April 12, 2004 bwebb, I doubt you would've believed it in the context you got it..... unless it confimed something you were already wondering about. I think you should confront your wife and have a long talk. The outcome of that conversation is what you make your decision on. Not idle gossip. It MAY be true....but this is between you and your wife.....not her half drunk friend who is pissed off at her. Link to post Share on other sites
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