Wasting my time?

[RON]

I met a young lady about 2 weeks ago. We made a connection that was almost overwhelming. She has a pretty serious relationship with a man that is going through a divorce. He is very wealthy, good looking, and he has 5 kids. The problem is he treats her like crap. Anyway, they broke up. We started dating and everything was progressing nicely. We're at a bar one night and her ex strolls in. To make a long story short, they got together again. Since this has happened, she still calls me daily. She is crazy about me but I'm not sure if she really wants to let the ex go or if she is scared and really wants to stay with him. Last night, he had the kids so we went out. She revealed alot of her feelings to me, and that she wanted to be with me, thinks about me, etc...We have never kissed or shown any affection to one another at all. She asked me to kiss her last night and it just blew me away. It was all over from there. We ending up spending the night together. We did not have sex, she was intoxicated and If it happens I'd like her to remember it. Now, she was supposed to go out of town with her boyfriend for 3 days and said she didn't want to go. She went. I was standing by her when they were loading up to go. Her ex tried to kiss her and she turned her head and looked at me. He got in his car and she squeezed my hand and said she'd call me as soon as she got back in town. We are perfect together. It's like we were made for each other and I know her ex is going down. I'ts just a matter of time. What should I be doing right now? He's digging a hole and I'm throwing dirt in on top of him as fast as I can. Is there something I can do to get her off the fence? Any insight would be helpful.

[Tony T]

Now, I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but would you be the same RON who is in love with your lady friend of 11 years??? Now I didn't go through FBI or Interpol training classes or anything but minutes before your post, another RON who spells his name with all caps had a different problem with a different lady.

 

Please, oh PLEASE, tell me you aren't the same guy!!!

[RON]

Now, I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but would you be the same RON who is in love with your lady friend of 11 years??? Now I didn't go through FBI or Interpol training classes or anything but minutes before your post, another RON who spells his name with all caps had a different problem with a different lady. Please, oh PLEASE, tell me you aren't the same guy!!! Actually, one of my buddies saw me in here and wanted to write in. No, not the same guy. You helped me out on the last girl, and you were right. I'm glad I ditched that one. Now, help me with this one, please?

[Dragonflys]

???

[RON]

Ok, I'm confusing everybody. I wrote in about a month ago about a previous girlfriend. Tony gave me some good advise and I moved on. I got onto the sight to write in, and one of my friends jumped in and wrote about his girl. Now, I've got this wonderful girl out there and I'm trying to figure out what I need to be doing, or if I should even be doing it? Come on people, help me out!!!

[Tony T]

I think you need to take a real close look at why this gal was so easily coaxed into going back with this dude who treats her like crap. My best it's the money. It usually is. You need to check that out.

 

You were wondering what you should do until something happens with her relationship. You should live your life to the fullest, go out with many women, find a nice one who is not confused and not just out of a relationship and on the rebound, and start a quality relationship. I know you are very attracted to this one lady and you had a nice evening with her while her boyfriend had his kids. (This is a really faithful chick, wow!!!) I think she will be serious problems for you in the long run...but maybe you can have some good times with her in the short run.

 

I am often suspect of women who have to be filled with alcohol before they show affection, especially those who are seeing a good looking, wealthy guy with five children who isn't even divorced yet.

 

As far as getting her off the fence, you ought to be thinking about getting her on the wagon first. In fact, she is NOT on the fense. She would not have gone back to her rich boyfriend unless she really wanted to try to get that to work. This gal knows where her bread is buttered.

 

As for who is digging the hole for whom, I think you are digging a hole for yourself here. But I will pray tonight that I am very wrong. But be cautious and prepared. There is nothing about this situation that smells good. You are smitten and hopeful it will turn out in your favor but I am a dispassionate observer and to me it sucks.

 

Don't fall too deeply for this lady because, I promise, in the long run she'll want to settle down with a dude with $$$$$$$$.

[Deejette]

Yes, you are wasting your time. She is looking for someone to counterbalance her absentee boyfriend. She is playing both of you. If he treats her like crap, she should leave him, not cry on your shoulder and then go away with him for the weekend.