A year since we got back together

[brokenamy]

and I couldn't be happier. Every once in a while, I stop by here to read stories and feel the way I felt back when I was trying so hard to get my "ex" back. to remind myself not to make the same mistakes.

 

We are working hard on our marriage with trust and love and because we've both suffered and known what it was like to lose the other, I feel like we are working hard to make it not happen again.

 

I wanted to stop by and just wish every one mourning an ex courage and strength. Courage to move on right away (believe it or not but when a dumper doesn't have you begging, the chances of them wanting u back are higher than if you do) and strength to stop yourself from calling or seeing them. If your ex contacts you, ignore them, be uninterested and even if you are not, act happy when you see them so that they see that you have something going for you. Good luck to all and I hope this post will give u hope if you need it that it is possible and faith that it can happen to ur relationship. Good Luck!

[Renard99]

Thanks for your post. It's quite encouraging.

 

My ex left me back in January and, after our first contact in months last week (i needed a signature from her) she's started making reconciliation noises. She left me because of 'grass is greener syndrome' and admitted that despite her friends best efforts, she's never felt so empty and lonely and misses "the one person who has meant so much" in her life. Even so, there was still a little doubt creeping through in what she said, so, I simply stated that my feelings for her never changed, that I couldn't go for friendship and that she knows where to find me if she wants to talk. She replied stating she needed to go away and get her head straight and when left it at that. I've slipped back into NC and will take it from there.

 

It's given me some hope but I'm not going to clutch it tightly. I'll continue to live my life and move on, telling myself that her return is highly unlikely, and looking to the future.

 

Your post proves it can be done and that makes this small feeling of hope that much sweeter. Thank you.

[worldgonewrong]

brokenamy -

 

Your words give me hope.

I can also see you are a woman of faith.

 

Please, if you don't mind, check out my thread in the 'Separation and Divorce' forum titled "Through the Separation Jungle".

 

I would be appreciative of any thoughts you might have.

 

Thank you!!!

[ironmanpower]

It's good to hear something like that. My ex and I were together for 3 years and we have even put down a deposit to buy a house together. I proposed and she declined and ran for the hills. She had the grass is always greener on the other side syndrome.

 

I've been dating a few girls but none of them work out. Still thinking of her, but I know I've to move on. Your post gives us hope that in the future, things would work out. Be it finding someone new that we would fall in love with or reconciling with the ex.

[brokenamy]

I am ashamed to say that part of my leaving was due to thinking that the grass would be greener on my own and boy was I right. But I was miserable. I made money, looked great, felt great but i was miserable without him and the reason why I persisted so much and appreciate having him back so much is that when I tried to get back together, he didn't believe me and was so wary. I really had to work for it and no matter how optimistic and happy you are that they are back, do't give in. don't admit how much you love them, keep them guessing, The ex returns because they realize what they lost. U r valuable and take any time you need to think things through.

Good luck.

[loverboy1984]

brokenamy

 

 

I dont really understand what you mean by this.

 

believe it or not but when a dumper doesn't have you begging, the chances of them wanting u back are higher than if you do

 

also are you saying you dumped him due to GIGS then you came back? how long did that take?

[nowwhatnow]

hi brokenamy,

 

how did you guys end up getting back together? were you NC? and who made the first contact?

[brokenamy]

@loverboy I left because we were having a very tough year and not because of gigs. I think I thought i could do without the drama (09 was very, very hard on us emotionally and financially- no cheating though) I left in november and the moment he left me alone for two weeks I started missing him. When I first left, he was relentless in trying to get me back and making me see my mistake in leaving and I couldn't see it because I felt like he didn't let me breathe or think or miss us. when he wasn't there begging, pleading and essentially coming off as a pathetic man (hurts to say this) I had time and space to think back to the man I fell in love with and believe it or not, the dumper will compare everyone new to their ex.

 

@nowwhatnow we have two kids, so we were never totally nc. for the first six months, i saw him almost daily but when we were together, he just suffocated me with talks of getting back together when what i needed was space. Right at the 6 months mark, he started seeing someone. the night before I called to ask him to take me back.

it was hard at first because one week after meeting, he moved in with her and her kid (she told him the other one was kidnapped by his dad:lmao:) essentially, he found himself with a crazy ghetto Puerto Ricana (he had to txt her pics of where he was she has MAJOR trust issues, she checked his phone, etc... and threatened suicide if he left her). All and all, he was with her for about two months. He actually came back when he made peace with the fact that it was over and I had to focus on my kids and move on in the dating world. (actually told myself I'd say yes to the first guy to ask me out)