What the #$@%#$????

[nrskrs28]

I am a college student and was dating a guy for 4 years. We talked marriage and I was going through a program to become Catholic, mostly because I wanted to but partially to allow us to plan a family together under a similar religion (he was Catholic). We started dating my senior year in high school and I was his first love, he went to an all male school. We really thought we were going to get married and he talked about the fact that he thought about us having kids and stuff but it was rare when he would be candid about marriage because most of the time he shied away from it and admitted he was too immature at this point (he's 21). So, anyways, we had been fighting for about 2 months because he was spending too much time w/ his friends (and had kinda put me on the back burner for 4 years b/c he wanted to hang out w/ his friends and stuff). So, I sent him on spring break by himself w/ his friends (I was invited to go but didn't) b/c I wanted him to get it all out of his system and I figured it would help our relationship out. This was about 2 weeks before I was going to get baptized (a very important time in my life). So, three days passed while he was in Florida and I got no calls from him. Finally I got a hold of him and ripped into him b/c I felt that since he hadn't called then it was like a statement of the fact he didn't miss me. So, I told him it was over, but I really didn't think that...it was more a threat to get him to wake up. Well he didn't call the rest of the time. He came back and we basically broke up. We saw each other 2 days after we broke up, he took me out to eat and he cried the entire time. He said it was hard for him and asked if he could still come to my baptism (he was my sponsor, so I had to find someone else a week before to stand in for him). So, anyways (and I know this is really bad) but I snooped into his emails b/c I had a feeling he wasn't quite being honest w/ me. It winds up that he is now in a relationship w/ a girl who has a kid. This girl went to spring break w/ him and his friends (there were like 6 guys and 3 girls). This is the guy that had told me he was too immature to get married (he wanted to wait at least 2 more years). He was talking all sweet to her...how beautiful she is and how much she makes him happy...well now he's thinking of staying at our college town rather than going home after we graduate (we both planned on going home and continuing our education then getting married)...he's only known this girl 2 weeks!!!! On top of that his mother is very conservative and would flip out if she found out he's dating someone w/ a kid (no offense...my sister has a kid out of wedlock...so I don't have an opinion on it one way or the other)...he is hiding it from her. I asked him while we were breaking up if he had become attracted to one of the girls down there and he adamantly said, "No, one just got out of a long relationship and the other has a kid." and I asked him if he was planning on dating and he said he was done w/ girls for awhile. So, he didn't show up to my baptism when just a week ago he was asking if he could come... I'm so confused and hurt and I don't think this girl knows about me either...It seems like he is really falling for her but I don't know how to analyze the situation. Any ideas as to why he's now dating a young girl w/ a kid (and he's only 21) and why he changed from crying so hard last week (and was he lying about getting in a new relationship?!?!?!) over us being over to now practically falling in love w/ a girl (at least that's what it sounds like)?!?!?! Guys feel free to comment on this cuz I don't know if the ladies would have any clue either....

[dyermaker]

Let's review the facts, a la my interpretation.

 

He:

+ Rarely discussed the future

+ Explicitly told you he was too immature for that future

+ Fails to constantly communicate that he misses you when away

+ Made the mistake of thinking you breaking up with him meant that you wanted to break up with him

+ Found someone else

 

You:

+ Partially converted to a religion in order to facilitate future plans with someone who was shy of commiting

+ Were his first love

+ Don't use paragraphs

+ Had trouble with him spending time with friends

+ Don't communicate desires, then lash out on him for not figuring them out anyway

+ Have no respect for his privacy, whatsoever

+ Think that breaking up is a good way to make things work

 

Okay, that said, let's answer your questions.

 

Any ideas as to why he's now dating a young girl w/ a kid (and he's only 21)

Because you broke up.

and why he changed from crying so hard last week (and was he lying about getting in a new relationship?!?!?!) over us being over to now practically falling in love w/ a girl (at least that's what it sounds like)?!?!?!

Because he was upset about breaking up with you, but got over it.