Author reasontosigh Posted April 11, 2004 Author Share Posted April 11, 2004 Originally posted by Kate ....but i shouldn't have to make excuses for the way i FEEL either...i'm trying...for example this is a really big deal to me. is it ok if he doesn't think it's a big deal and i do? You're right - you shouldn't have to make excuses for the way you feel. Is it OK? That's up to you, really. People can and do come to some sort of agreement/compromise on issues such as this. Since this seems to be non-negotiable for you, it will have to come from him. He may be willing, but unsure of how to go about it. Maybe a gentle nudge is all he needs. I'm keeping in mind he's had only one serious relationship before. It's all still relatively new for him, I'd say, and I'm willing to bet that girl didn't do anywhere near as much to keep things fresh and stimulating. I'm not saying anyone is at fault, he just really has no idea. Link to post Share on other sites
Kate Posted April 12, 2004 Share Posted April 12, 2004 thanks. maybe i should lighten up on him a bit? i mean, after i sent him that text message, he called me 3 times in a row and didn't leave a message...probably didn't know what to say and was going to invite me. but that wasn't the point anymore for me -- it was far gone. he is a really sweet and caring guy. everytime i bring something up or want to communicate, he is ready and willing. but it's just so confusing and frustrating to know that he "has no idea". i think he had a really immature relationship. i hate having to guess how into me he is...i think it is a little unbalanced, and i do have much much more relationship experience/life experience than he does. i dont want these to serve as excuses for him, but i suppose i must take them into accoutn given the obvious effort he has made aside from this all. he just isn't ready for the world with me. he has openly stated that he has given up his "grace period" of dating for what we have together. is that enough? should i just move on and get over this? it's a little hard. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted April 12, 2004 Share Posted April 12, 2004 The day is spent and gone. BUT, I would think you could use it as an 'example' as to what hurts relationships when two people don't communicate their plans and feelings. IF he doesn't respond to your request to avoid this type of thing in the future....then it will continue to happen. Only you can decide if you love him enough to over look it. Perhaps he isn't as serious as you about this relationship.....which would be another area you may be ready to discuss as a couple to make sure you are both on the same page. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted April 12, 2004 Share Posted April 12, 2004 I heard everyone asking, "Did someone spike the punch?" to which I giggled like a madman. Link to post Share on other sites
Author reasontosigh Posted April 12, 2004 Author Share Posted April 12, 2004 That's hysterical!!!! Great story, Kevin!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted April 12, 2004 Share Posted April 12, 2004 What is your opinion aout everything else i have written about him?? I think that you expected him to read your mind. He maybe thought you wouldn't want to be invited. Or maybe he knew that people in his family behave like idiots at these occasions and didn't want to expose you to that. I think that you should tell him that you hoped to be invited and ask him why you weren't. I think that people need to communicate rather than expecting others to understand their thoughts. shouldn't have to make excuses for the way i FEEL either...i'm trying...for example this is a really big deal to me. is it ok if he doesn't think it's a big deal and i do? Yes, that's perfectly fine and normal but you should not get mad at him because he doesn't know that this is a big deal or why this is a big deal. Link to post Share on other sites
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