Els Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Males and females have a better chance at being just real friends after they've gotten into middle age. Before that it is a crap shoot. If two healthy young people of the opposite gender are going to have each other's company in some way, feelings are going to happen in some cases. Even if a guy doesn't have an interest in the woman in "that" way going in, the amount of herself that she shows him may sway him emotionally on deep levels. Say, she literally cries about something heartbreaking in her life on his shoulder. He didn't know that he'd be considered for that. Now is he supposed to not have a heart, not have a gut, not have question marks in his mind about what he means and where he stands? It's ludicrous to think there's a single universal answer to this. The bottom line is that if there is any real hard unwillingness to ever entertain a fling with a guy, the relationship should probably go not much further than e-mail. If you're 50 and falling apart it's different. Oh, definitely, if it comes to that sort of emotional closeness there's a definite risk of feelings being developed. Most of the platonic guy-friends I've had didn't involve such emotional closeness, though. For the most part, we acted as how guys act with guys - we went out and played games together each night, drank together after, and cussed at each other. I had a boyfriend and they knew it, and I also didn't show them much of my womanly side - on purpose by instinct, perhaps, I really didn't want anything further with any of them so it was really easier to just not be seen as a girl-girl. Even when it was just one guy and me due to the others not being around or such, that dynamic didn't change. I also know plenty of guys and girls in my college who go out as co-ed groups often, and thus are pretty good friends without the abovementioned intimacy, although admittedly things might be different for them if they did a lot of one-on-one time. Link to post Share on other sites
DreamerGirl27 Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Oh, definitely, if it comes to that sort of emotional closeness there's a definite risk of feelings being developed. Most of the platonic guy-friends I've had didn't involve such emotional closeness, though. For the most part, we acted as how guys act with guys - we went out and played games together each night, drank together after, and cussed at each other. I had a boyfriend and they knew it, and I also didn't show them much of my womanly side - on purpose by instinct, perhaps, I really didn't want anything further with any of them so it was really easier to just not be seen as a girl-girl. Even when it was just one guy and me due to the others not being around or such, that dynamic didn't change. I also know plenty of guys and girls in my college who go out as co-ed groups often, and thus are pretty good friends without the abovementioned intimacy, although admittedly things might be different for them if they did a lot of one-on-one time. When you take hormones and get reconstructive surgery on your vagina to make it a penis, then I'll believe you're not a "girl-girl". Link to post Share on other sites
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