Medgirl Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 I broke up with my boyfriend on Tuesday for several reasons. You can find me complaining and whining in several posts. It almost all boils down to the fact that I was afraid of him. I was afraid he'd hurt me, I was afraid of what might happen tomorrow, and I was afraid he didn't love me. I told him this in a pretty subtle way, but he got it and was totally upset that I felt that way. Now he's appologizing and telling me that if I stayed with him that he would change things and make me very happy. He still tells me he loves me, and he doesn't want any other girl because he found the one he wanted. I do want to get back together with him. I want to try one more time sooo bad now. BUT, and I Know this is stupid. My family and friends keep telling me NOT to get back together with him. Almost to the point where they're angry at me. I feel like they'd be disappointed in me if I did. What am I supposed to do? Link to post Share on other sites
Kate Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 ignore them and give the guy another chance. don't listen to anything but your heart. and don't let him take you for granted, either. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 I was afraid of him. I was afraid he'd hurt me, If this is really true, absolutely DO NOT GO BACK. Now he's appologizing and telling me that if I stayed with him that he would change things and make me very happy. He still tells me he loves me, and he doesn't want any other girl because he found the one he wanted This, verbatim, is the script abusers will use. The will promise, sobbing heartfelt tears, that they will never ever ever be awful to you again. They will then revert to their old behaviour shortly afterward. [color=red]If you fear his anger, do not continue in any sort of relationship with him. [/color] Link to post Share on other sites
Kate Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 I had no IDEA there was an abusive connotation here...if he is in ANY way verbally, emotionally, physically...even the slightest bit abusive or mean...drop him immediately. I thought you were afraid you would just feel hurt in the relationship because you were scared of your emotions... Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 I think ur family is right on this one, he doesnt treat you well, dont go back, you can do a lot better. Link to post Share on other sites
Fedup&givingup Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 I agree with Moi here. This crap about promising to treat you better is the pattern of an abuser. If he's already hurt you and/or mistreated you and you go back to him, he knows he can get away with it. He knows how to manipulate you. Your friends and family are angry with you because they CARE about you, and they see through your boyfriend's BS. I followed along with your story on the thread about clues to look for when someone is cheating, and I was glad that you had washed your hands clean of him. If you go back to him, we'll all be here to listen and advise, but you WILL be traveling down the same road that you just got off with him, and it will take you to the same spot...a dead end. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
brashgal Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 Self doubt is normal. Remember, you've been talking about doing this for awhile. Take time to sit down and write out your history, past, present and possible future. Be fair but write it all down. Read it whenever you start feeling weak. Link to post Share on other sites
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